Trying this again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 12
Trying this again
Hello. My first post here and I am ready to quit drinking. I’ve been drinking since I was 14 years old and I am now 47. I tell myself every Sunday that I will quit on Monday and then start up again right after work on Monday. I drink every day. I get down on myself for wanting to quit and never do. I want to quit for so many reasons. I am a hard working leader in my career but I drink. I am a great mom but I drink. I’m not a very nice wife because I drink. I get angry at people because I drink. I push people away because I drink. I have severed ties with my sister and mother because I drink. So why do I drink ??? Why can’t I stop ? I want to stop ! Im a good person but getting not so good anymore. I’m getting mean because of my alcohol problem and it’s not me. I emailed an out patient facility. I hope to hear back soon. Wish me luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome back!
Yes, alcoholism usually makes us isolate ourselves in order to be able to continue drinking. I had lost track of all my friends by the time I stopped drinking. Alcoholism robs us of ourselves and I became a person I hated.
But, you can stop drinking and be the person you want to be. Take a look around here. Come up with a plan that will work for you. What can you do during the times you were drinking in order to distract yourself?
Yes, alcoholism usually makes us isolate ourselves in order to be able to continue drinking. I had lost track of all my friends by the time I stopped drinking. Alcoholism robs us of ourselves and I became a person I hated.
But, you can stop drinking and be the person you want to be. Take a look around here. Come up with a plan that will work for you. What can you do during the times you were drinking in order to distract yourself?
I hope our support can help you get sober and live a good life as the person you were meant to be. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Yes, welcome back. Some don't make it.
Like you I started drinking at fourteen. I finally quit at forty nine. I've been sober ten years.
I pushed , and blew off, most everyone in my life by the end.
I was at the pinnacle of my trade. Had all I needed. But no matter what and how successful I was I could not stop drinking.
It eventually cost me everything.
Why couldn't I stop? I was mentally and physically addicted. A compulsion mixed with an obsession.
I didn't know how to live sober and couldn't imagine it I was drunk so long.
I needed help. I got it through AA, but there are other means of recovery, too.
It took awhile, with many starts and slips, But after I was able to put together some sober time, I couldn't imagine drinking like I did. i.e.; shooters of whiskey at 8am.
I was a bad drunk.
You're not alone. I understand. I've been there.
The only answer for me is complete abstinence. I couldn't look years down
the road of not drinking, but I can not drink today. That I can handle. That is manageable.
Good luck with the out-patient thing. I hope you get in and it helps.
We're all here for you, too.
Again. You're not alone.
Best to you.
Like you I started drinking at fourteen. I finally quit at forty nine. I've been sober ten years.
I pushed , and blew off, most everyone in my life by the end.
I was at the pinnacle of my trade. Had all I needed. But no matter what and how successful I was I could not stop drinking.
It eventually cost me everything.
Why couldn't I stop? I was mentally and physically addicted. A compulsion mixed with an obsession.
I didn't know how to live sober and couldn't imagine it I was drunk so long.
I needed help. I got it through AA, but there are other means of recovery, too.
It took awhile, with many starts and slips, But after I was able to put together some sober time, I couldn't imagine drinking like I did. i.e.; shooters of whiskey at 8am.
I was a bad drunk.
You're not alone. I understand. I've been there.
The only answer for me is complete abstinence. I couldn't look years down
the road of not drinking, but I can not drink today. That I can handle. That is manageable.
Good luck with the out-patient thing. I hope you get in and it helps.
We're all here for you, too.
Again. You're not alone.
Best to you.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Hopefully4me 
Hello. My first post here and I am ready to quit drinking. I emailed an out patient facility. I hope to hear back soon. Wish me luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
You sound so much like I did and I'm sure many others at SR. It helped me to post on the 24 hour thread every morning to start my day and to remind me of who I am and I can't drink. I also started at about 14. I quit drinking and smoking on my 59th birthday. Please stay close to SR. Best wishes for you on your journey!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 12
I don’t even remember posting in 2017. I must have been a mess even then 😔 I was very ill then with a 3 pound tumor growing and didn’t even know and had to removed this past December. As soon as I got off the pain killers (had a major surgery and was in bed for 5 weeks) I started drinking every night. I actually had 10 days off alcohol while on pain pills. I definitely don’t like those !! My doctor also prescribed me a light dose of alprazolam for anxiety that I was taking every day and stopped cold turkey a few weeks ago. That was so scary. I had no idea that even a small dose was addictive. Once I got through that withdrawal, I decided I was ready to quit wine as well, so here I am. Just didn’t want to do both at the same time.
I decided tonight to go hit some golf balls and played a couple of games of corn hole with my 13 yo son. I still felt horribly hung over during it , but it was better than drinking. One of my best friends texted me that she drank 3 bottles of wine last night and I felt sad for her and me. I had 2 last night, which is much more than usual.
I would like to make a plan. I’m definitely a planner and for some reason not quite sure where to start. Almost like I am blocked and can’t think. I do like the idea of posting in the 24 hour thread. I can start there.
I truly appreciate having a place to come to while I figure out how to stay sober and focused and I truly appreciate your responses. 😊
I decided tonight to go hit some golf balls and played a couple of games of corn hole with my 13 yo son. I still felt horribly hung over during it , but it was better than drinking. One of my best friends texted me that she drank 3 bottles of wine last night and I felt sad for her and me. I had 2 last night, which is much more than usual.
I would like to make a plan. I’m definitely a planner and for some reason not quite sure where to start. Almost like I am blocked and can’t think. I do like the idea of posting in the 24 hour thread. I can start there.
I truly appreciate having a place to come to while I figure out how to stay sober and focused and I truly appreciate your responses. 😊
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hello Hopefully and welcome.
i found your first post: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/6556514-post1.html (Fear of what withdrawals will be like)
took me many tries to quit and stay quit, and great to see you are here, ready to do this thing.
getting connected with others was one of the steps that has been hugely helpful to me.
i found your first post: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/6556514-post1.html (Fear of what withdrawals will be like)
took me many tries to quit and stay quit, and great to see you are here, ready to do this thing.
getting connected with others was one of the steps that has been hugely helpful to me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
There are some great plan ideas here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,407
Maybe you can’t quit because you’re an alcoholic? Lots of alcoholics visit sites such as this one.
Im an alcoholic and once I started not worrying about the ‘why’s’ and started looking at the ‘how’s’ in reference to staying sober I commenced my recovery journey.
There’s a wonderful life in sobriety if you want it more than you want to drink.
Im an alcoholic and once I started not worrying about the ‘why’s’ and started looking at the ‘how’s’ in reference to staying sober I commenced my recovery journey.
There’s a wonderful life in sobriety if you want it more than you want to drink.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Hope,
Quitting hurts like nothing I have ever experienced. There is brain damage that the booze causes and quells.
The pain is physical and mental. Thankfully, it comes and goes.
I still hurts these days.
I had to find new ways to pass all the time it takes being a drunk. Projects around the house, exercise, sober dinners and shows.
I don't look at it like I quit drinking. I made a change. A lifestyle change. I am a proud non drinker.
Eduction, sr and the internet, saved me.
I didn't use rx drugs. All otc. No Drs either.
I suffered like there was no tomorrow and it got easier by the moment. I probably caused some ptsd from going my route, but I use that to stay clean as well.
Suffering is the way through. Trying to take an easier way out would have only lengthened the healing process.
Thanks.
Quitting hurts like nothing I have ever experienced. There is brain damage that the booze causes and quells.
The pain is physical and mental. Thankfully, it comes and goes.
I still hurts these days.
I had to find new ways to pass all the time it takes being a drunk. Projects around the house, exercise, sober dinners and shows.
I don't look at it like I quit drinking. I made a change. A lifestyle change. I am a proud non drinker.
Eduction, sr and the internet, saved me.
I didn't use rx drugs. All otc. No Drs either.
I suffered like there was no tomorrow and it got easier by the moment. I probably caused some ptsd from going my route, but I use that to stay clean as well.
Suffering is the way through. Trying to take an easier way out would have only lengthened the healing process.
Thanks.
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