Vick1

Why's it have to be goddamn 12 steps? Why not 2 steps? Or 1 step? I feel like I'm 13 000 steps away from sanity, the first step being picking up the damn book and reading the first page. I wish motivation was in a pill form that could be snorted.

I'm not serious about that last part..

Dandelion12

There is also an 8 step format that Ive been meaning to check out.

Its based more on Buddist philosophies I think?

Im going to google it now while Im hanging out with my dogs.

If thats still to many steps, the only one step program is this :

Do not drink under any circumstances ever.

Doris47

Lol, that last bit made me chuckle 😂 I do like a bit of humour (an ex drinker/druggie lol 🙏

Anna

I'm not a 12-step person, but I know motivation is key to recovery.

awuh1

In the beginning nothing seems like it will be enough. The first members of AA only had 6 steps.
The physical withdrawals are the first major hurtle, so you might want to see a physician if that's what you are struggling with. Medication might help. If things get really difficult go to an urgent care or an emergency room.
It's not so much the steps but the path you are on.

tomsteve

had me laughing here at a flashback. i wasnt PO'ed about there being 12 steps- i was PO'ed because i knew they were simple steps but i hadnt gotten that from my head to my heart yet.

ZeroDawn

gypsytears

Caprice6

Do you have the option to do S.M.A.R.T recovery? For some people it's a better alternative to AA.

I couldn't do 12 steps and it's religious too. To each their own.

djlook

That's an interesting question: Why's it have to be 12 steps?

I looked that up. Here's what I found about the number 12:

:Twelve is the number of what is completed, which forms a whole, a perfect and harmonious unit. In the ancient civilizations, like Oriental and Judaic, it corresponds to the plenitude, the completion and the integrality of a thing. R. Allendy tells that it expresses the idea that the Universe forms a whole, associated with the idea of differentiation - 10 + 2.

So that's what the 12 steps were based on, to my understanding.

djlook

Twelve represents restoration of sanity, I meant to add.

fini

hey Vick, here is a link to original 6 step versions.
might seem less daunting and make more sense.

Early Six-step Versions of the Steps

i like them a lot.
the 12 originated from there.

August252015

I'm not popping in from the dedicated AA perspective (which is indeed mine)- and I completely agree with what others said about using another/other methods.

But the very first thing it struck me to ask you is: why? What makes you so angry about there being 12?

They are suggestions. Not rules.

But even that - is it because you want an immediate fix like many of us (I know your pill comment was a joke but I mean this question sincerely cuz most of us would love a "one step deal")?
Is it because you're familiar withe the steps and 3, for example, coming to believe something bigger than you is at work?
Is it ideas related to working the steps like using a sponsor?

I ask those just as a suggestion to think about what you might not want to do - that will actually be what you should do - or what the anger/fear/etc is really about, like maybe being an alcoholic in the first place...or....

Glad you are here - and while from here at 3+ yrs sober and about to go to a meeting then time with a sponsee....I too found myself very pissed about the whole steps, program, "crap" for a long time.

Hope you stay with us, find or are doing something that does work, and keep it going the right direction.

sugarbear1

First, we stop telling ourselves we can handle just one.

Then, we don't drink any.

Motivation? Die a slow and painful alcoholic death or try sobriety?

Vick1

I'm not angry with it, I just find it hard to find the motivation to pick up a book right now, and the book is pretty big, nearly 400 pages. I've had it for over a week now and not even read the first page. But I think I'm still finding it difficult to adopt the 1 day at a time thing, or one page at a time in this case. I'm looking at sobriety, and reading this book, like a mountain that I need to get to the top of as quickly as possible, but of course that impossible. .

DriGuy

The idea of 12 steps strikes me as fabricated, especially when 12 steps are supplemented by traditions; How many? 12 of course. I can't help but think Bill got hung up on the number 12 because it had some personal meaning, and then came up with exactly 12 steps (and then 12 traditions) to achieve the goal of twelves. It doesn't help that present culture tends to make a point about "AA and other 12 step programs." The phrase is used all the time and implies that every treatment program seems to think it needs 12 of something to be effective.

I could make the case that learning to live in sobriety actually takes more than 12 steps if one wants to take it seriously. Many people survive on less than 12, some on maybe as little as 2, although I couldn't identify what they would be. Human psychology is complicated, and I doubt that everything and all problem situations can be solved by 12 things. I think those who are most successful (depending how one defines the word) are more creative than that.

AA outlines a place to start, because some people who have been drunk for most of their lives probably come it with limited skill sets. Not all of course. But there is nothing magic or even special about Twelve. I have often asked, "Why 12," myself. It's seems odd and arbitrary.

fini

I've had it for over a week now and not even read the first page.

ah, well, if you were to read the first page, or pretty close to there, you would find there this:

“We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women [in 1939] who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.”
from the foreword to the first edition.
fantastic: we can recover, do recover, have recovered.

how does that grab you?

DriGuy

The Big Book is actually an easy read. I read it the first time in a couple of evenings, and several times after that. I am not a speed reader by the way. If you are going to participate in AA, it seems like a good idea to read what the founder says, because the program revolves around his life philosophy. Even if you don't see life as Bill sees it, at least read it critically to gain an understanding of where Bill's ideas come from.

You don't need to read it all and do everything right away, and you may decide to proceed using a slightly different route. There is no reason to be overwhelmed. Recovery is life long, so you have plenty of time, and growth doesn't happen all at once. And most important, keep in mind that it never ends, so it's absurd to think you could do it all at once and then sit back in a perfect Nirvana after that. The good news is that joy and peace come in little bites like a good meal, and can be savored all along the way. At least that describes how my journey in recovery feels to me.

Chance219

It took me over two decades of use and abuse to get as screwed up as I am, and while I have had some spiritual awakening(s) as a product of a 12 step program (NA) and a relationship with my higher power, I often need to remind myself one thing: Easy Does It.

As addicts we became used to easy "fixes". A pill for this, a bump of that, or just one more hit to cure what ailed us in the moment. Recovery doesn't really have any of those types of easy fixes, from what I've found, at least. The closest thing I've found is just the opposite of my old ways: Do not pick up and use, no matter what. That alone might not fix my problem, but at least it won't make it worse.

Like DriGuy said,

I agree with this 100%. Breaking up tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks is something that I need to do sometimes in order to keep from feeling overwhelmed and to help give myself a sense of accomplishment.

Best wishes to you, Vick1, glad you are here!

Mcribb

The only step is don't drink today. Whatever you do after that is to build coping skills