First true attempt at sobriety
 

Hi guys,

Im officially five days sober and I had my first craving today so I think its he best time to dive in here. As a bit of background, Im 37/m/single. Not much in terms of friends or family. I never started drinking with any regularlity until I was 32. There wasn't even a catalytic event. I just simply became involved with someone who was an alcoholic and my own drinking progressed from there.

I didn't start drinking daily and heavily until about 2 years ago when my job became very stressful. I also got promoted to a position where I rarely interacted with other employees face to face so began drinking in my car during breaks and lunches without fearing someone would suspect anything. At my worst it wouldve been a 16oz water bottle full of vodka throughout the workshift. Even then, after I get home I would continue to drink. Weekends? Who knows. It was always straight Grey Goose, no chaser. Never beer or wine.

I was never a binge or blackout drinker though. More like an IV dripper. I stopped when I got too nauseated or it was time to sleep. My health has been trashed thoughout years, Im now overweight on blood pressure meds, tons of GI issues, "mildly elevated" liver enzymes, gout, chronic fatigue, nausea. I don't even remember how good food tastes because Im always so too damn nauseated to enjoy it. I just reach for whatever grease laden burger, chicken, whatever I can stomach.

I don't wanna go back. I want to retake control of my health. I miss the gym. Ive tried but I was always too sacked and or nauseated. I NEED to go back. I want to have normal blood work, normal weight. I want to apply for that new position that just opened up, I want to eat a good meal without wanting to vomit it all up after.

Im so over it. Im burning this bridge now , hoping for the best and I just pray I didn't wreck my body beyond repair. Thanks for reading. I been lurking the past few days and you guys are amazingly supportive, so I know Im in good company :You_Rock_

see you again!

Hi and welcome.
I'm new here too. I'm on day twenty something. I leave it up to my app to keep track of that. Congrats on day 5. I've found reading and posting here and listening to recovery podcasts have kept me on track and motivated. You're doing great.

Thanks! hope to see ya stick around. What WD symptoms if any have you experienced?

welcome to SR KremlinDusk :)

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I don't want to freak you out as this was just my experience but I felt awful for the first 11 days. My body ached especially my back, then my joints hurt and then I had 2 days of sharp headaches. I was lucky in a way as I was able to just take it easy and be kind to myself till I felt better. I took a lot of baths. They didn't help but it was a good excuse to be by myself. I wasn't fun to be around. On day 12 I woke up feeling human again. It was kind of like the flu now that I think about it oh and night sweats, they're a real treat. I was also flooded with different emotions. Mostly shame and anger all aimed at myself. The first couple of weeks were difficult and did feel never ending but hang in there. I hope you're doing okay. Just be kind to yourself. I guess our bodies have a lot of healing to do. Keep strong. Drink water. We can do this.

Welcome! so glad you are here with us.

Hi KD!
Glad you are here. I am on Day 5, CONGRATS on Day 5! ...WDs I've found to be different for everyone - mild, moderate, to severe.
It sounds like abstinence is your only choice as your health is declining dramatically. Like mentioned, start slow with stretching and taking walks. Commitment & Consistence. For me, I'm trying to also clean up my diet, take multivitamins, and increase water intake. Most important, dont pick up ONE drink and keep us posted on how your doing!

:c011:

You're on the right track, I think. It sounds like a big life change is in order, and sobriety is what you need.

It's so good to meet you, KremlinDusk. This is a wonderful place for understanding & encouragement. I was able to quit a 30 yr. drinking habit thanks to the support I found here. It feels wonderful to be free of it.

I was drinking during work hours too, towards the end. That was something I vowed I'd never do - along with driving. We drink to help with anxiety & stress - then we find out it makes everything so much worse.

Congrats on your 5 days sober. You're going to do this.

Welcome to the family. :) You'll find lots of support here. :)

:c011:. Welcome! They told me to post here every day. I did. It helps. On day 32 now. It's hard sometimes. But also amazing. I got to AA. If that's not your jam then there's also refuge recovery and other ones that are secular based. I realize I'm an isolating alcoholic and I need people.

You got this.

Press

Thank you all for the warm welcome! The cravings were a little worse today. I still had a half bottle in the back of my car and AV was telling me too take just a couple sips because I was doing great and can control myself now. UH no, nice try, bish.

Instead of drinking on my lunch I read this forum and your responses, your support and encouragement, and that really helped pull me back :) Cant wait to go back to the gym. I agree with those who mentioned it:: exercise and health will definitely be key to long term motivator for sobriety!

oh wow I been have the same muscle tension issues! I also feel fluish after waking up too :( Glad you're feeling better. Totally agree our bodies need time to heal after the years of poisoning we did to it. We're ARE gonna weather this storm though!

Congratulations!!! I used this forum for probably the first year I was sober and it was a life saver at times. When the insomnia kicked in for me I hung out here at 2 and 3 in the morning. Thankfully we have members all over the world so it seemed that someone was always up for a chat. Take good care of you and just don't drink 5 minutes at a time.

How are you doing today KD?

Welcome! You're in the right place. Lots of support here. Take it easy on yourself for a bit. I tried to do too much in early days of sobriety and I'd find myself completely exhausted and a puddle of tears pretty easily. Lots of difficult emotions and physical ickiness at the beginning. I had to get extra rest, eat small healthy meals, drink a lot of water. I still do that over 4 years later, because it's a great way to live, actually! Exercise can really help too, just listen to your body and don't push it too fast.