Dee74

If nothing we can say will make you change your mind, at least read this Tetrax:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-previous.html (Flashbacks of same scary thoughts during early alcohol withdrawal following previous)

this **** is life and death, man - I don't think you're taking it seriously enough.

D

August252015

As often, what Dee said.

Temptation, as it can be called, is everywhere bc alcohol is everywhere. It's my job - especially at the beginning!- not to put myself where or doing anything to make what is in my head (and so legit because we are JUST barely sober!) even harder to handle, choose the better thing over, etc.

I'd agree wholeheartedly that taking this as life and death - and, truly, that you are just starting to actually get the alcohol out of your system, and putting it in danger now is tempting fate. Again.

At the risk of being repetitive, once more, we don't get infinite chances to get or stay sober. Up to you.

Gettingcloser

Oh my gosh, Dee. This is so sad!!

eve123

MantaLady

Yep, you’re right, you are going to be surrounded by temptation when you get home. Yep, you’re going to have to deal with and get used to it. However, to be brutally honest you have already given into temptation by buying the bottle in the first place. Your mind has already relapsed and set you up well so he next time you get pissed off and really really want to drink you can with no effort or distance between you and a drink. I wasn’t strong enough to do that, I hope you are when the time comes. Xx

ThatWasTheOldMe

Dee, that is terribly sad

ThatWasTheOldMe

Tetrax,

Please man. It's Russian Roulette.

Caprice6

every day, this site and community make my affirmation to quit alcohol for good even stronger.

I believe without this site, I would have relapsed by now. I remember when I returned, at first I wasn't sure I could do it, I felt everything from self doubt to self pity to having flashbacks and recalling my distant and not so distant past, my mind pacing....but this site has held me down.

Caprice6

Tetrax, there's nothing to be proud of in what you are doing. No regular person would do that. It pisses me off. We seem to care more about you than you do about yourself.

ThatWasTheOldMe

As have others in the past for me, when I just wanted to check out.

biminiblue

To me it feels like ego.

"Look how strong I am. You people are just weak. Watch this, this is a click-baity title."

Unfortunately alcoholism doesn't care how smart/clever or how pretty or how much money or how popular or any other human "attributes" we may have. I hope this experiment on Tetrax's part doesn't come back to bite him (her?) but I have my doubts.

There's no Surrender here.

John65

Tetrax, it seems that the Beast has you by the balls and before long it will start squeezing hard and then even harder. Even if you don't drink the bottle it will end up going back home with you to join the other one that's in your wardrobe. There they will sit until they are drank (or poured away!)

You wrote about getting a bottle so that the Addictive Voice would shut up but it looks like the opposite has happened because you have fed the Beast. The AV is clearly present within your posts on this thread, can you not see it? Can you not feel the Beast stirring within?

Of course, you might be able to resist drinking bottles that are close to hand, maybe even when your housemates are partying hard or when life gets stressful in other ways. It's a very risky approach you're taking though and I think that your logic is flawed.

I wish you well, whatever you choose to do.

Good luck!

WhoDeyPI

This is disaster written all over it.

Caprice6

I had done the same the first time around, then after a pro longed drinking, rinse, repeat period, I decided to come back, but this time would be different, somehow.

I sure sounded convinced, I had to make this second time around on SR work, but early on, I still had my doubts, I felt a range of emotions, moods, thoughts.

I got additional help too, I gotta make this time work cuz if I don't, I would just bow out again. This has to be it. Just do it. Don't over think it, take action, pro active measures and accept yourself as you are.

No F**** bottles needed to comfort me. No more waiting for the stores to open, no more rushing before they close, no more planning on stocking up over the holidays, no more shamelessly day drinking in public, no more shameful texts, posts, outbursts, no more losing jobs and/or clients over it,....

Dandelion12

This is a war with yourself, your own shadow, not the bottle

You need to feel like youre in control.

Of SOMETHING. Like an anorexoc "needs" to control their food

Well guess what- whatever you need to control ends up controlling you.

Its an inanimate bottle full of junk. It has no feelings, iits not alive, it doesnt care what you do.

It doesnt care if youre dead, alive, happy, sad- nothing.

YOU are playing head games. With yourself.

The only power it has is what you give it. And you give it plenty. An inanimate object full of questionable liquid is controlling you.

dpac414

I'm going to have to respectfully bow out of this conversation, as it is causing me exceptional anxiety. Especially in light of the news of Frizzer and how he was unable to overcome this sick disease.

I really wish you the best Tetrax. I will keep you in my thoughts but I am unfortunately unable to try and play these mind games with you if you are unwilling to do what I believe you know is the right thing. This isn't meant with any malice at all.

Please throw the bottle out and stay sober. I don't want to have to log in here and find out you've died, too.

Action

This thread almost seams like a ruse to fire up the recovering almost to the point of mocking them. Common sense says if you don't want to drink because you have a problem with alcohol that you would not keep alcohol in the house, like a child keeps a teddy bear at bedtime or my grandson likes snuggle blankets at eight years old. For us with any time we know why there needs to be a zero tolerance for alcohol, it's simply the risk is to great. You managed to clean up this time and there may not be a next time. This disease kills and it could be today, tomorrow the next binge. The inexperience of new recovery says I feel strong now, I can handle this. But you can wake up at two am after having a dream that is so real and want a drink and without even thinking start again. Your home needs to be safe from alcohol-zero tolerance.

Action

Tetrax

The thing is, if I chucked the bottle now I could be counting down the days till next week when booze would be readily available again. If I resist when it's still here surely these days mean more? I mean don't some people in rehab not even count those days (when booze is inaccessible)? And no I'm not mocking anyone or creating a ruse or anything else. This is just the way the cards have fallen. I've gone away for a few days in very early recovery with no access to alcohol. I panicked on the way and bought alcohol. I haven't chucked it, nor have I drunk any of it.

I reckon I'll be prouder of myself when I return home knowing I can resist it when it's there (and it will make good practice, for it will forever more be there when I am back home in a city).

Of course I understand there are massive risks - but I don't see many more than in general life, when it is everywhere anyway. I guess this is just how I'm planning to get through Week 2.

I'm more worried about going back to the city, to be honest.

MyLittleHorsie

I am going to preface this by saying I do think keeping a bottle of alcohol around an alcoholic and seeing it as comfort is akin to a gun and a suicidal person.

However I do personally know of people who successfully quit smoking, by having a pack or carton close by. A very dear friend still has the carton somewhere in a box from when she quit.

I found it comforting to carry an empty pack in my purse, it reminded me.

We have booze in the house, beer in the fridge in the garage, whiskey in the liquor cabinet over the fridge and two small bottles from an adult themed Easter egg hunt we ended up participating in. I haven't crawled on a chair to put them over the fridge. However, I have been sober a year and a half, was pretty fussy about my poison, so drinking Irish whiskey is not a temptation at all, (my present from the bunny lol) and there has been booze in the house since I got sober, my husband drank, but he in no way had an issue. He has quit for the most part now too, except he had one beer at a party we were at Easter weekend (his only drink in 9 months).

I know the approach of having it close has worked for some people, but I do think it is crazy dangerous.

Mac4711

Bimini hit the nail on the head. Something was off, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but that’s what it is!