Bought a bottle but don't plan on drinking it
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Do you really want to risk having to go thru that first week of withdrawal again? That's the grade if you fail this "test".
Here's a test. See if you're stronger than your addiction then dump it out.
Here's a test. See if you're stronger than your addiction then dump it out.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
I once slept with one single beer next to my bed for a month back the first time I tried to quit. I felt very similar to you, Tetrax. It was there so I could technically drink it whenever I wanted, I just didn’t want to.
Unfortunatley, like many here. I did end up drinking it. I think it was after a long hot day at my weekend job (I work at a zoo) and I rationalized a “shower beer” to relax. Something I’d do all the time, except I always had more to drink after my one in the shower. And I’m sorry to tell you, the anxiety that hit me after I finished that beer and realized I had nothing else in the house caused me to go back out into the heat and walk the 10 blocks to the liquor store for a box of wine. I had no intention of doing so but the second I took a sip of that damn beer it was over. It took me almost a year to get my **** together again.
I get where you’re coming from, I really do. I personally think you’re quite intelligent. But you can’t outsmart this **** dude. It’s a parasite and it’ll wring you til you’re literally dead.
I’m rooting for you so ******* hard Tet. Please throw it out.
Unfortunatley, like many here. I did end up drinking it. I think it was after a long hot day at my weekend job (I work at a zoo) and I rationalized a “shower beer” to relax. Something I’d do all the time, except I always had more to drink after my one in the shower. And I’m sorry to tell you, the anxiety that hit me after I finished that beer and realized I had nothing else in the house caused me to go back out into the heat and walk the 10 blocks to the liquor store for a box of wine. I had no intention of doing so but the second I took a sip of that damn beer it was over. It took me almost a year to get my **** together again.
I get where you’re coming from, I really do. I personally think you’re quite intelligent. But you can’t outsmart this **** dude. It’s a parasite and it’ll wring you til you’re literally dead.
I’m rooting for you so ******* hard Tet. Please throw it out.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
I think you really need to ask yourself for why? Truthfully, deep down, what's the real reason behind the bravado.
It may be a "security blanket " just in case you need relief from whatever trigger, emotion, state of mind or situation. You wanna be sure your safety net is there no matter, just in case.
It may be a "security blanket " just in case you need relief from whatever trigger, emotion, state of mind or situation. You wanna be sure your safety net is there no matter, just in case.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Dee74 
With all due respect to the last few posters above, in my experience alcoholics buy alcohol for one reason.
D
I never bought alcohol in order to NOT drink it. Even before I was a raging alcoholic. I bought wine at the store along with groceries because I'd have a glass with dinner, or friends over and we'd drink a bottle....we all know where these stories have gone to get us HERE.
Update, Tetrax?
And, as said above - what is it you want a group of alcoholics in recovery to say?
I was so thrilled to see your raging arguments with us turn to - a start in sobriety. I also wondered how many days it would be til you came back with some version of this, if I'm being straight up with you as I was on your intro thread to us.
What's going to happen? Today? Day 7, 8 or ground zero?
Dude, you know what to do. And - whatever you do, let us know & we do get it....you're not going to stop being welcome here.
I just hope you stop taking the very real chance you won't get to come back here again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Thanks all for your responses. I'm successfully on Day 8 but the bottle is still there. I think the compulsion of buying it has helped me further see how much of a raging alcoholic I am. I still seem to need evidence, in spite of my past withdrawals. I have no compulsion to drink it; I also have no compulsion to chuck it out. It kind of feels like struggling to delete your ex off Facebook; I can't quite fully let go. It feels like the last remnant of a life: though a life lived poorly, it was still my life.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
While I can understand your thinking on some level, I still strongly believe this could be a real turning point for you. If you can bring yourself to get rid of it, as hard as it might be to let go of that last remnant, I believe you will feel a huge sense of relief. I could be wrong, but maybe give it a try and report back on your feelings?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by MLD51
While I can understand your thinking on some level, I still strongly believe this could be a real turning point for you. If you can bring yourself to get rid of it, as hard as it might be to let go of that last remnant, I believe you will feel a huge sense of relief. I could be wrong, but maybe give it a try and report back on your feelings?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Tetrax
It kind of feels like struggling to delete your ex off Facebook; I can't quite fully let go. It feels like the last remnant of a life: though a life lived poorly, it was still my life.
You are certainly free to make your own decisions, but this one is a bad decision all around plain and simple. We know because we've seen people make them before and we've made them ourselves.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Tetrax
I think the compulsion of buying it has helped me further see how much of a raging alcoholic I am.
It kind of feels like struggling to delete your ex off Facebook; I can't quite fully let go. It feels like the last remnant of a life: though a life lived poorly, it was still my life.
It kind of feels like struggling to delete your ex off Facebook; I can't quite fully let go. It feels like the last remnant of a life: though a life lived poorly, it was still my life.
i had no problem deleting my ex from my life let along social media.
idk,tetrax-from what ive read in your past threads it doesnt read like much of a life ya had before. reads more like what i had- just an existence.
i dont miss any of that because now im living. nothing there i didnt want to let go of.
you can let go if you make the decision to work for a new life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by Tetrax
Thanks all for your responses. I'm successfully on Day 8 but the bottle is still there. I think the compulsion of buying it has helped me further see how much of a raging alcoholic I am. I still seem to need evidence, in spite of my past withdrawals. I have no compulsion to drink it; I also have no compulsion to chuck it out. It kind of feels like struggling to delete your ex off Facebook; I can't quite fully let go. It feels like the last remnant of a life: though a life lived poorly, it was still my life.
No compulsion now, good on you, how about having no compulsion to buy a bottle in the first place?
Also, not all relationships end badly. I still have 2 past of mine on FB and everyone has moved on with their lives for the better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
The evidence is you're posting on a sobriety internet board, you've gone through withdrawal before, and you can't stop thinking about a bottle of alcohol you bought.
Those are all things people with alcoholism do. They are all diagnosable symptoms of alcoholism.
Those are all things people with alcoholism do. They are all diagnosable symptoms of alcoholism.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Originally Posted by Tetrax
I can't quite fully let go. It feels like the last remnant of a life: though a life lived poorly, it was still my life.
Don;t be like me and regret the twenty years I spent trying to find a way to drink non destructively.
There's no way to do that if you drink like I did. My drinking style was crash and burn.
It's like willing a bullet not to leave a wound when you shoot yourself in the foot.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so among other things, i am a former crackhead. would ANYONE see the "benefit" from keeping a rock or a pipe ON HAND so i can prove how strong i am against the impulse???
one drink, one hit, one pill....for the addict, if it's there and the urge hits, it will get consumed. the AV never runs out of rationale to keep feeding the beast.
one drink, one hit, one pill....for the addict, if it's there and the urge hits, it will get consumed. the AV never runs out of rationale to keep feeding the beast.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 182
Your going to drink it, you need to put " yet " at the end of the title of this thread.
There is a lot of experience telling you to get rid of it, you should listen to the experienced in recovery they can save your life.
There is a lot of experience telling you to get rid of it, you should listen to the experienced in recovery they can save your life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Ten years ago, my ex managed two years, by keeping a couple of cans in his house. It worked for him but it's VERY unusual that it works for anyone else. It certainly never worked for me.
Sadly after the two years he went back to it (not with the saved cans, they'd been dumped by me long before) and last thing I heard he was seen walking up a Glasgow street, off his face wearing odd shoes and being ridiculed by teenagers.
My honest suggestion and I KNOW how hard this is to do - is get rid of the damed bottle. It might make you feel 'safe' in that you're not all wound up wondering about whether to go to the shop for booze, but it won't make the 2 years unopened like my ex's did.
WIshing you strength and knowing how hard it will be to dump that poison x
Sadly after the two years he went back to it (not with the saved cans, they'd been dumped by me long before) and last thing I heard he was seen walking up a Glasgow street, off his face wearing odd shoes and being ridiculed by teenagers.
My honest suggestion and I KNOW how hard this is to do - is get rid of the damed bottle. It might make you feel 'safe' in that you're not all wound up wondering about whether to go to the shop for booze, but it won't make the 2 years unopened like my ex's did.
WIshing you strength and knowing how hard it will be to dump that poison x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Day 9. So I'm having a great time with family, getting great sleep, and generally not thinking about that bottle. The way I see it is when I go back to my city next week I'm basically gonna have that constant temptation anyway (two 24-hour off-licences within five minutes' walk of my house), so I may as well get used to it.
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