ThatWasTheOldMe

I did it again.
Day 2. It sucks. The heart palpitations are the scariest part.

least

I hope you can make this a success.

eve123

doggonecarl

Is rehab out of the question for you?

ThatWasTheOldMe

Yes.

Chance219

Thoughts & prayers

ThatWasTheOldMe

My last drink was some time yesterday. I have not given in today.

Anna

I hope you feel better.

Mummyto2

Tetrax

Good for you. I did it last week, just hold on and tomorrow might just surprise ya at how quickly you can feel better.

Canuck76

I am on day 4 and through the worst of it. insomnia and anxiety have abated. Let's try again!

Caprice6

TWTOM & Canuck & Tetrax, to all who are "starting over" don't despair. Take it slow, set short term realistic goals for yourselves, build on your past successes and try not to dwell on something we know all too well happens/happened more often than not to most (myself included).
Try something different perhaps this time in order to avoid another relapse, and if it happens again further down the road, keep building.

Dee74

What happened TWTOM?

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

Boredom and depression were my triggers.

Dee74

well in a way that's good cos neither of those things is intractable - you can do a lot about both things

Have you considered seeing a Dr about depression at all, for example?

D

Caprice6

Boredom is a common one, but it doesn't necessarily need to be associated with negativity. It's not an emotion or state of mind, it's plain neutral, just there to take it or leave it as you wish. You can do a lot with it or nothing at all. You can do something you enjoy, watch a movie, read, write, meditate or exercise. It can be good time to just relax too.

Would you say that your depression leads to drinking, or does your drinking lead to depression?

ThatWasTheOldMe

I think the drinking leads to depression.

Dee74

but if depression led you to drink again, there must be more to it than drinking leading to depression.

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

I'm still a little out of it on day 3. It could have been more anxiety than depression.

All I know is I felt a heck of a lot better than this on day 17.
It looks like April 23rd was my first drink from credit card activity.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I went to my meeting last Tuesday, but I went to get alcohol first because alcoholism.

I remember now. That's how out of it I was. I couldn't even remember off the top of my head when the bender started.