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Looking for recommendations, Date Night! Good Morning Everyone! I was laying here trying to figure out what my husband and I can do tonight that won’t involve drinking and I thought I could ask the experts! My husband and I both just quit (Day two) and anytime that we were kid free or trying to spend time together pre-sobriety we would hang out on the porch and drink and smoke (neither of us even smoke!! How dumb!) until the early hours. My husband is a VERY quiet person and the alcohol always helped him talk more and I loved it because it was time together that I actually felt like we connected. Obviously that won’t work anymore. I guess what I am looking for is maybe some ideas or things that you and your significant other did to fill that void of time but also some tips or tricks on how we can still communicate, connect etc. Even just stories and experiences about what happened when you and your partner stopped having that drinking time together. My husband and I live in a rural town in New England and it’s a cold rainy day. Well will be going out/ kid free after 4:30 pm and I’m stumped as to what we can do. Ideas anyone? Hearing from everyone else whether it’s advice, tips or experiences has always been a huge help for me when trying to stay sober so Thank You in advance! I’m going to need all the help I can get because I know as the day goes on my mind will convince myself that drinking “just one more night” will be ok, we all know it won’t. Thanks guys! :-) |
Coffee shop? I'll admit we had to take a break from familiar drinking things like porch sits till we were stronger in our sobriety. |
A movie, a long walk in the woods, some window shopping, a dinner without the booze to dull your senses, some reading material at a coffee shop. The world's full with so much, I found just being present and paying attention with sober eyes was a game changer. |
Maybe a dance class if there is one or just a good old fashioned game of scrabble or monopoly. :) |
I highly recommend long walks/hikes. My husband and I began walking on our first date and have never really stopped. When I began recovery, I found that walking (usually with him) gave us a time to talk and connect. It's something I always look forward to. |
Bowling, swimming |
Cards or another game at a coffee shop. A nice dinner without booze. A walk is a great idea, but you said it's rainy? Maybe curl up at home with a nice movie? A Rom Com or something else funny and light. Not sure what options there are in your town - go out to a movie at a movie theater? There are LOTS of things to do instead of sitting on the porch! |
Thanks everyone. I’m loving the ideas and thoughts! Actually hiking and walks are one of our favorite things to do but unfortunately it is going to be rainy and dark by the time we get out. We do have a small city near us and I just tried to find a coffee shop open past 5 and the only one is Panera, that will have to do! |
In my search for a coffee shop I saw a website about dry bars. What a cool idea! I wish we had one nearby. Sometimes living in the sticks stinks lol |
Originally Posted by mandosca
(Post 7172580)
In my search for a coffee shop I saw a website about dry bars. What a cool idea! I wish we had one nearby. Sometimes living in the sticks stinks lol |
If you both have an exercise routine you could arrange to do that together, which is like the hiking but can be indoors at a gym, then shop for & cook a healthy meal. |
I'm single, but i enjoy driving(or riding my Harley) out to the lake/river at night and just 'chilling'/thinking. Could make for a great after dinner "date night" but I'm enjoying the solo life for now. 😎 |
Bowling alley, skating rink, racquetball court, comedy show, arcade, museum, painting class, batting cages, ice cream shop, shooting range, workout at a gym. There is an endless amount of things to do. |
How about a quiet dinner with no drinks, if you're in a place where that won't trigger either of you. How are you both feeling on Day 2? |
In a similar situation my wife and I would often go out to dinner. After that, we would likely end up at Home Depot or Lowes. We could always find something we wanted there (I guess I would call that "retail therapy"). And, after that, if we were really feeling adventurous, we would head off to Barnes & Noble. |
Originally Posted by REM700
(Post 7172608)
Bowling alley, skating rink, racquetball court, comedy show, arcade, museum, painting class, batting cages, ice cream shop, shooting range, workout at a gym. There is an endless amount of things to do. |
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
(Post 7172831)
In a similar situation my wife and I would often go out to dinner. After that, we would likely end up at Home Depot or Lowes. We could always find something we wanted there (I guess I would call that "retail therapy"). And, after that, if we were really feeling adventurous, we would head off to Barnes & Noble. Thats too funny. My husband and I use to, and still do, the exact same thing. We would walk around for a long time looking at all the projects we could be doing to the house. Except we’d always end the night drinking. |
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
(Post 7172687)
How about a quiet dinner with no drinks, if you're in a place where that won't trigger either of you. How are you both feeling on Day 2? |
Thanks for all the great advice! We ended up going out to dinner at a really cool bbq place and then took a road trip to Trader Joe’s which is one of my favorite stores but no where near us. I got really emotional which I guess was just part of the withdrawal process but we made it through and now I’m in bed about to read “This Naked Mind”. Anyone else read it? I’m only on the third chapter but I’m enjoying it so far. |
Originally Posted by mandosca
(Post 7172957)
Thats too funny. My husband and I use to, and still do, the exact same thing. We would walk around for a long time looking at all the projects we could be doing to the house. Except we’d always end the night drinking. |
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