First time reaching out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
First time reaching out
Good afternoon. I am finally able to admit to myself that when I drink, I don’t have control. My family hates that I drink, but I don’t know how to wind down and fall asleep without several glasses of wine AND 1/2 a Tylenol PM.
Im hiding alcohol, and drinking more than I tell myself I’m going to drink. I’m tired of having a foggy head, feeling sick, and I hate mornings! It’s become a burden. I’m also having stomach issues. I’m afraid my coworkers know I’m hungover most mornings. I’m embarrassed that I even have incontinence sometimes when I’m passed out. I’ve quit several times, but only because I got pregnant. My fiancé shouldn’t have to deal with any of it. My oldest daughter is old enough to see what’s going on, but the younger 2 don’t, yet. Can someone point me in the right direction on this site? I’m happy to see I’m not alone on this site. Thank you!
Im hiding alcohol, and drinking more than I tell myself I’m going to drink. I’m tired of having a foggy head, feeling sick, and I hate mornings! It’s become a burden. I’m also having stomach issues. I’m afraid my coworkers know I’m hungover most mornings. I’m embarrassed that I even have incontinence sometimes when I’m passed out. I’ve quit several times, but only because I got pregnant. My fiancé shouldn’t have to deal with any of it. My oldest daughter is old enough to see what’s going on, but the younger 2 don’t, yet. Can someone point me in the right direction on this site? I’m happy to see I’m not alone on this site. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
You're in the right spot. You'll find a lot of support here from people who understand.
I know I couldn't control my drinking, either. For a long time.
You're not alone. And I hope you stick around here.
You're in the right spot. You'll find a lot of support here from people who understand.
I know I couldn't control my drinking, either. For a long time.
You're not alone. And I hope you stick around here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
The right direction on this site is exactly where you are. This section and the people here are some of the major reasons and means by which I got sober and stay sober.
Congrats on making the decision to reach out. What's your plan?
Congrats on making the decision to reach out. What's your plan?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome, you've found a great place for support. Following is a link about various recovery programs and tips on what we did to stop drinking:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Welcome to S.R, you've made a good choice in joining us here. I've just got 1 year and a couple of weeks sober but I know for sure that it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and I've received the most amazing support and kindness from the lovely people here, people who know exactly how it is. I'd advise you to join the 'Class of April 2019' where you will be with others at the same stage as you. Good luck, you can do this. Xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by lessgravity 
The right direction on this site is exactly where you are. This section and the people here are some of the major reasons and means by which I got sober and stay sober.
Congrats on making the decision to reach out. What's your plan?
Congrats on making the decision to reach out. What's your plan?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Daisybelle
Welcome to S.R, you've made a good choice in joining us here. I've just got 1 year and a couple of weeks sober but I know for sure that it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and I've received the most amazing support and kindness from the lovely people here, people who know exactly how it is. I'd advise you to join the 'Class of April 2019' where you will be with others at the same stage as you. Good luck, you can do this. Xx
thank you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 205
Welcome! You are on the right path. I just wanted to let you know I could relate to the incontinence and worrying about coworkers noticing hangovers. I’d take cold showers, use eye drops, etc. to try and hide the hangovers. It’s such a relief to not have to worry about these things anymore!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by ShynxMama77
I don’t have a plan but I would like to stop myself. I’m not able to go to a facility, but I am planning on seeing a counselor.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Welcoem SynxMama 
this link explains a little on what we mean by plan - but it'll be whatever works for you
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
this link explains a little on what we mean by plan - but it'll be whatever works for you
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by AtomicBlue
Welcome! You are on the right path. I just wanted to let you know I could relate to the incontinence and worrying about coworkers noticing hangovers. I’d take cold showers, use eye drops, etc. to try and hide the hangovers. It’s such a relief to not have to worry about these things anymore!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,163
Originally Posted by ShynxMama77
I don’t have a plan but I would like to stop myself. I’m not able to go to a facility, but I am planning on seeing a counselor.
After many attempts, admittedly feeble, I begrudgingly went to AA. I had no plan. I just went to see what people in AA had to say about my problem. I read the Big Book, and understood that the key to the problem is total abstinence. This is not just some peculiarity of AA. It's pretty much agreed upon across the board by experts that the only solution to a person's alcoholism is to quit drinking for good.
I was adverse to this but only to a small degree. My ideal solution would be to stop drinking, but to still be able to drink in moderation in situations where alcohol was called for. But I was willing to take that consensus of wisdom and make it the first part of my plan, albeit a partial and informal not written in stone plan.
For many alcoholics this typical attempt to reach some workable compromise with total abstinence creates an open door to failure. Their words and promises aside, they cannot accept that reality and fully internalize abstinence. They want to reserve a wee bit of the right to drink when the occasion calls for it. This has stopped many a recovering alcoholic dead in his tracks.
Total abstinence, forever. A big step to take and a big bite to chew. AA has a set of steps that are designed to help you do that. They may or may not be necessary. It varies. The steps may or may not be optional depending on the person, but having an occasional drink on a special occasion is not an option for any alcoholic ever.
So there's a start for a plan. You can add vigilance, making choices, and fighting cravings as you proceed. No plan makes this whole thing a breeze, and there will be cravings to fend off in the beginning (no small annoyance), and some tripping points you need to watch for too, but like the steps, these other bits are all centered around not taking another drink ever.
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