Is Giving Helpful
 

not money directly to them.
i drive through an area with people on the streets with their signs. one particular man stands on the same corner monday,wednesday,and friday with his,"need work-family to support" sign.
tuesday,thursday,and saturday hes on a different corner in same city with an ace bandage around his ankle,crutches, and sign:"injured-cant work. family to support."

I do.
Sometimes I get some $5's or $1's just to give out. I gave a man a dollar yesterday because he asked in such a kind way.
I know the argument, they're only going to spend it on booze.
But, to me, unless they're obviously drunk how do I know? And do I care?
I know this might sound bad, but if they are spending it on alcohol perhaps it'll help them forget for awhile what horrible conditions they're in.
I live in a city with a huge homeless population and I don't give money to everyone. It's a feeling. Are they drunk? Drugged? Aggressive?
These things play into it.
And it's part empathy. I've been broke and homeless so I know a little of what I speak.
I've been blessed. Very blessed. Some aren't as fortunate. So I feel I have to give back.

I give. Expecting nothing in return. And once it's given it's theirs and it's none of my business what they spend it on.

Sure, yeah. But I don't judge anyone for not doing it for whatever reasons they have.

I have detoxed in a free facility where there were lots of homeless people. It was an eye opener for sure. I thought I understood 'homelessness' but I didn't, at all. They are just like me, most of the time. Just not as lucky. And mental illness is brutal. I mean, real mental illness. And there are so few resources for the mentally ill.

So yeah, I do.

Just wanted to add, that your question is really 'is it helpful?'. I don't know.

I have when I was in an area with a large homeless population. It's a wretched living regardless of drugs or alcohol, and I don't think anyone chooses that life. I don't know where the money went. I had it. They didn't. There are lot of well known charities that have been known to mismanage contributions, so giving money directly to the needy seemed like it by-passed the bureaucratic money shuffling and poor accountability that sometimes has been said to happen. Generally, those in need seemed thankful for the help.

Yes, or offer to buy them a meal.

My father once told me, we are more fortunate than most, it is our responsibility to help others whenever we can. Give when you know it will not be returned.

I know in some weird way it might be enabling an addict, or the person might be lying, but therein is failing of our mental health programs, if I give out 50 bucks and 5 actually helps someone, well that 5 was worth more than the 45. I also know the adage, a fool and their money are soon parted, I am a fool, I like to think a slightly compassionate fool.

Yep, this.

I will and have many times bought food and a hot drink. I’ve bought dog food for their dogs. In winter when I worked in the city I had a small bag of hand warmers, thermal socks / gloves and hats or toiletries like toothpaste or wet wipes that I also have handed out to people living on the street. I don’t give cash money to anyone. I also don’t give money to any charities, prefer to actually do something myself or donate my actual time. xx

Pretty much the same. I spent a year living in Chattanooga, TN which has a HUGE homeless problem. Every single day I saw at least 5 of the same people, and in the same (or like tomsteve said, the same/diff spots based on day or whatever) places with their "story."

I tried not to be jaded then I learned the following:
Someone who really needs the food they are asking for will be thrilled if you bring them a meal from the restaurant where you work.
Those wanting money for something besides food don't want the food.
Taking someone into a grocery store with say $20 (there was this cheap one right in the middle of downtown and the restaurant area where I worked and the largest concentration of begging happened) can lead to a guilt inducing situation where the person keeps pushing for more than the ingredients for a meal you picked out together.

And so on.

So, no, I very rarely give money to anyone asking. I hate seeing the need but I choose to give money in other ways to specific causes I care about. Or as Manta Lady said, put things together for specific stuff like winter - or, what my husband and I did for Advent. One food item a day from a suggested list of what was needed at places near here that feed our city in need, and all items boxed and donated at the end.

the most i will give in cash is one dollar. i prefer to give them food or drink. when my husband's work boots and jeans get beyond useful for masonry construction, i'll wash the jeans and knock the mortar off the boots and keep them in the back seat of my car - this has generated some odd looks from folks who were expected a cash donation. :dee

i bare no ill will to how anyone else chooses to respond to this. it feels a bit like the OP had a bit of an agenda rather that just posing a question to the group, particularly with the Oy Vey comment.......

That's the impression I got from your post.
I would just ignore her, I think she's trying to start a flame war.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here.

I give to charity and I've given a lot of time to various causes but I rarely give out money in the street cos I feel a little vulnerable as a disabled guy opening my wallet.

D

I think we all know in our heart when we are truly giving, and that is what matters.

When you give because you feel in that moment it is right, then it is right. It might be a dollar to someone or it might be a smile, right?

I feel like we get so hung up on labeling. People always get on my case because I'm not a political person. And the reason is because I have all I can handle (if I CHOSE) providing love and support to those around me, friends, strangers, co-workers. You could spend a lifetime doing good work just within arms reach.

If someone else's responses infuriates annoys or just plain ticks you off you can put that person on ignore,

report the post if you think it breaks the rules by clicking the triangle on that post https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ons/report.gif or you can send them a PM, keeping in mind that PMs are subject to all the usual rules too..

Pot shots simply engender pot shots which engender more pot shots...enough already.

Dee
Moderator
SR