Hope1989

So, in a nutshell, I have drunk around 3 times in the past 6 months. So I'm far away from the goal, BUT being someone that binged every two weeks, I won't take the progress of me. Last time was around 1 month, so I wanted to make sure to write this when I was not hungover.

I guess this is not really a new take, but this is what I have learned:

1. I have met myself again. I had no idea who I was or why I was drinking. Unfortunately, this also means that I have to face A LOT of issues which I was escaping from.

2. My life is way more disorganized than I thought it was. I have a lot of flaws which I need and am willing to work on;

a. I'm smoking way more now that I drink.
b. I'm financially terribly disorganized (not that I'm broke, but I could do better).
c. I'm afraid of facing every little step, even routine things that for "normies" would be normal.

And the list could go on and on. But here's is the great take:

I see a different me and people see me differently. At work, no one has a clue. Everyday I'm getting compliments on how good I look and it feels so wonderful.

Just wanted to share this.

August252015

Glad you are seeing changes at 6 mo of reducing - as you might expect, I'm one who'll go ahead and say the ultimate changes and benefits and ability to deal with everything from money to work to people to...only keeps improving if you get and stay actually sober, and then in recovery.

Best to you.

january161992

great honesty and the 1st step in recovery



have you tried some aa meetings?

lessgravity

I went back and read your posts. Only two weeks ago you were saying you were ashamed and exhausted regarding your drinking. When are you going to quit for good? Same cycle forever unless you quit forever is all I'm saying.
​​​​​​

kinzoku

I started smoking like a chimney when I first quit, bad stuff.

Congrats on your journey. Moderation never worked for me but I'm glad it works for you.

Hope1989

Hey! thanks a lot for reaching out.

Maybe I did not express myself in the right way. I was not trying to imply that I'm getting better at moderating. I'm not, I can't moderate alcohol intake and that's 100% sure. I'm also not planning or drinking and my plan still remains to be sober and quit for good.

What I was trying to say is that, despite the three downfalls that I had, I have acquired some valuable lessons. I have been able to see myself in a different way and get a much clear picture of my shortcomings, problems, and issues which I have to address. All of this was previously covered by my drinking.

I hope you have a great day!

snitch

Sounds like step 1 to me. "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable". So now you need to find A power either greater than you or within you depending on which type of recovery plan you go with, to stop you from picking up that first drink. Then you can really meet yourself and start working on your life!

ClearPath64

Great post Hope. We all have a long list of flaws to work on. Now that you can see them clearly, you are in a great position to address the ones that you feel need to be addressed. One day at a time though. Glad you are feeling balance.

lessgravity

Ah, got it! Well put and nice work. At 41 and sober I'm also coming to know myself, for the first time. Keep walking the line.