Give a dog a bad name
 

I'm so angry I think my head will explode.
Son number 2s wife, took a strop over arrangements for my daughter number 1s upcoming wedding.


I was on the phone trying to sort it out with her when she took offence over the pettiest thing.
Namely she wanted everything to revolve around what is convenient for her
And I shouted, half jokingly down the phone "it's not my wedding".

Next thing I know, son isn't talking to me and he and wifey are telling everyone I "shouted abuse down the phone" to her!! What she told son btw, was totally made up

I really didn't. She's just making things up to cover for her petty childishness, making it out to be my fault, when really she is in a strop cos she can't get her own way.

Thing is, in the past, when I was drinking, I would come out with nasty stuff if someone was pissing me off
But, I was stone cold sober. She knows this and also knows she's lying
Also knows it's her word against mine, and I feel she is taking advantage of my past to gain sympathy for her childish narcissistic behaviour when I did nothing wrong.

What she said I said was " your marriage will never last. I told my son his relationship with ex wouldn't last and that happened"
Which is far removed from "It's not my wedding"
Oh and I apparently was like a psycho.
��
Grr I feel like a psycho now, feel like tearing her lying face off.
It's took all my efforts not to have a fag

You know the truth. Hold your head high and do not let this bring you down.

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. The sister of my late wife is like that, just a nasty piece of work. I don't have much to do with her, and my kids are very watchful as regards their aunty. They know she never has their best interests at heart.

I remarried recently and my new sister in law and her family are an absolute delight.

You are more than your past actions--your present response is a building block to your future self.

Be strong and let your sober reputation, your reputation as a thoughtful, loving person, grow :)

Thanks for your replies.
I know it will take time to prove myself
I know also that I wasn't a paragon of virtue before I started drinking, so do not expect to magically become one now I have stopped. But outright sabotage when I am trying to build bridges, didn't expect that either.

I've calmed down a bit now. At least I'm trying to be a better person, I cannot control what people say about me, or think of me. Just a shame she has put a wedge between me and my son when I was hoping to begin mending things with him
Now she gets to be the poor, wronged little victim and I get to be the person who is as foul sober as drunk in his eyes.
At least sober I can see her dirty lies.
I wonder how many times before she has lied and said I've said things I haven't, but I've been blacked out and can't remember if it was a lie or not and grovelled an apology for something I never said

I bet our "relationship" has been like that book Girl on a Train, where the abusive husband blamed the alcoholic woman for all the foul things he did and she accepted the blame cos she was in blackout 😳

Vent on here, all you want, but I'd suggest from experience and therapy, to let the anger subside until you're collected enough to address the issue without making it worse.
May be inane, but yesterday during a game 7 my team lost in, I kept receiving comments over the course of the game. As a fan, I was boiling angry at that point, and replied ''My therapist told me not to say anything while angry, I will address your comments when I am ready.'' By the end of the second period I did, in a calm, rational manner....another reply (still disappointed but in control, I commented what my point of view was of the aforementioned players/game and my take. Then, even if it sounded a little harsh, I ended it with, ''with all that's been said and done, I have no further comments to add, and have no interest in pursuing debates over it. You are free to your opinions.''
Dead silence after (otherwise these inane ''debates'' would have continued).
I was in control, anger aside, but still not happy, disappointed, but I had time to take in what was said, collect my thoughts, and then address the issues in mainly one statement 1 by 1.
My advice is to let the anger subside, collect your thoughts, make your points/side respectfully but firmly known in respect to what when down and to calmly and rationally address the issue with them then.

Good advice, but too late!!
I only found out what I was meant to have said, because cruella devile invited everyone, my other son and DIL and two daughters for dinner Easter Monday night. When they said it was out of order not inviting me, that's when she came out with this bull story to them all.
I will only found out about it today.
They all said they are staying out of it. Apart from my son who is married to the mad dog.
I text her telling her exactly what I thought of her and her dirty lies. She retaliated, bringing up stuff that is none of her business and personal insults, but I stuck to the point, which was her bare faced lying. Which she denied!!?? She was actually trying to tell me I DID say these things, as if I wasn't actually present during the phone conversation!
Best of all, she didn't mention to my daughter who is getting married, that she was on the phone griping about the arrangements didn't suit her.

That horse is dead I'm never talking to the dodge pot sociopath again. She's too dangerous.

Take all the time you need, be patient, a break is good to remove yourself from this toxic situation.
You will eventually have to face her again at the wedding and love your son.
But don't sink to her level of personal insults, remain sober, and try, as hard as it may be to remove your emotions from reason. Stand firm, if she gets all riled up or interrupts, say, "don't interrupt me while I'm speaking." You can stand up to her and for yourself as long you take that time you need to remove yourself from the current situation and gather yourself. try not to take things she says personally, especially lies or insults. Don't let it get the best of you, instead remain calm and steadfast, don't let her doubt yourself.

lol, sorry about the gigantic size, it wasn't intentional. :)

but a sober psycho- progress!!:You_Rock_

situations like this i have a tendency to look at something of it to make me laugh.
tearing her face off- is that progress from wanting to run over her with a truck????:lmao

Time is the real test of truth. Good for you for staying sober. I'm sure all things will be revealed.