Callas

In order to literally save my life (without being overly dramatic), I have worked out a mostly new regime for sobriety. This entails covering what I do after work and weekends.

At the moment, with the exception of golf and bridge I do everything alone. It works. I have also planned, and paid for a week at a Wellness Retreat in June where I will go alone to celebrate 3 months of sobriety.

My question to the experienced members of this forum: being sober for months and years, did you embarked and stayed on a completely new way of life or did you more or less follow previous social, friendship, hobbies,sport etc, just now doing it all sober?

Dee74

Drinking permeated all areas of my life so, for me, everything had to change.

Some things have come back into my life, like playing music, but it's a different experience sober.

D

kinzoku

I think it depends on you.

I have noticed a lot of really successful cases of sobriety seem to contain some element of change in routine and that this change usual has to have a positive and aspirational quality. Whether that is AA, working out, becoming a better X, y, or Z.

Gottalife

I had to learn a new way of living, but it hasn't entailed ditching everything from my past. There was some good stuff there, hobbies, interests and friends, that I was able to get back on track with only because of my new way of living.

Guener

As for some habits, some had to be discarded and some nurtured. I still am working on seeing the world through the prism of reality from my senses and not just through my own thoughts and desires. The latter tells me I still have work to do on some other things, but that gives me opportunities and not just outside obstacles that don't align with how I'd like to see myself. I am taking it gradually, with patience, to achieve my aims.

I think a wellness retreat sounds like a great opportunity for your body and mind and look forward to hearing how the experience goes for you.

Finalround

Like Dee says. Being sober in itself makes my life far different from my drinking life. It just occurs by removing something that WAS such a big part of my time spent. Choosing better behavior puts us on a different course.
Enjoy your retreat. That does sound like a wonderful opportunity for you.

tomsteve

i dont have the friends i used to have-they turned out to be drinking buddies.
i have new friends that have similar life principles,hobbies, and interests as me.
my social life has changed a bit- im ok with being an introvert.
i dont shoot pool or throw darts any more- i was on leagues for both and both leagues played in bars. i dont have a reason to be in bars any more.
ive fired up old hobbies-alcohol became more important than them.
i found new hobbies,too.
i still follow sports- kind of the same and kind of different-still cant remember crap but i remember watching the games now.

ive gone to sporting events and concerts sober but those experiences are completely different than when i was drinking.
i didnt go to either of those until i was about 3 years sober and had the right motive for going, a planned escape route,and was in fit spiritual condition. didnt have to use the escape route at any of the sporting events or concerts,though and they were all a great time.

D122y

I still do nearly the same things, except drink. I never used to go to the bar. I was/ am too cheap for that.

I generally pre drank and brought a flask to functions. For longer trips e.g. vacation, I always bought a plastic bottle of something.

I drank at home after work and on weekends. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

So, coming home from work and weekends were triggers. They still are.

I stopped hanging around 1 guy. Not because of me really. He only likes to hang with drinkers.

My wife is pretty much a non drinker and had a very active lifestyle. I hang with her. We see shows and eat out etc. At first it was harder to do all this sober.

Now it is amazing. Seeing a rock show etc. totally sober gives me all the emotion to produce natural dopamine. That is what the booze altered.

I get dopamine from everything now. No booze required.

Thanks.

MLD51

It's a combination for me. I still do many of the same things and hang out with some of the same people, just sober. But I have time and energy to nurture new habits and activities, also. I did have to change up my daily routine a little, but most of that was just not stopping at the bar for happy hour after work. Couldn't really change much else about the daily routine, except that I devote some time every day to something that will enhance my sobriety. I obviously never did that before.

Enjoy your retreat! I went on a recovery retreat in Bali when I was about 2 and a half years sober. It was amazing. A really great way to take good care of yourself and celebrate your success.

WeThinkNot

I gave up most of my friends when I got sober. None of them were alcoholics but they were all drifting through life aimlessly with no goals. Now I've made a couple of new friends and I've reconnected with an old colleague of mine who was somewhat of a mentor for me years ago. He's financially independent which is a goal of mine so I'll pick his brain regarding investments, mutual funds, things like that.

Somehow I never lost my job during my drunken years so my weekly routines are still the same for the most part. The only difference is I am an absolute beast in the gym now. Before I was working out but always in a constant state of hangover so I didn't see the results I wanted. Now at the age of 40 I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been.

The most pleasant surprise for me is my Vegas trips. It's my favorite place and I've always gone at least once or twice a year since I'm a short flight away. After sobriety I was worried not that I would relapse but that there would be nothing for me to enjoy if I went back. It turns out I love it more sober than I ever did on my previous whiskey/cocaine/hooker binges. So I still have my happy place and it means something even more to me now.

August252015

Total change for a long time into my sobriety. I was actually fortunate that by the end, I was drinking in isolation almost all the time so I'd ditched my routine with enablers and drinking "friends."

I started AA because it was truly my only choice. I learned to work a very strong program.

I spent time with my parents only for a couple months. Then I took a job at a fast food place. It was structured, clock in and clock out shifts, positive environment and co philosophy, and what I could do at that point in my sobriety. Somewhere after 100 days I gradually started making lunch or coffee plans with maybe one friend a month with whom I wanted to truly reconnect not judge dodge around or "keep up with online."

I went back to my previous work in a restaurant at 5 mo sober. It was the only immediate option to actually support myself and with my program support, I used rules around my work shifts - no hanging out after, no re-creating a group of drinking friends, and so on. I did it for a year and got myself out of debt and so on.

As I got sober I learned what I liked to do, and didn't like to do - I followed my sponsor's advice that saying NO was always an option, to ANYTHING. I planned ahead for fam events and the first was Thanksgiving including my estranged brother, at 9 mo sober.

I went out of town for the first time at 9 mo sober, with my now husband. Sidenote: we have a pretty unique story in that we dated in high school, had gone our separate ways for 20+ yrs and out of the blue he asked me to lunch when he was a month sober and I was 4 1/2 mo.

First party- 14 mo sober
First wedding - 19 mo
So on.

As I stayed sober and built a wonderful life with my recovery my first priority above all else, I still opted for no as I built my emotionally sober muscles. Last year, in my 3rd year, I truly began stretching myself to be participate in challenging, if truly OK for me, events, mainly around family. This yr, at 3+ yr sober, I'm even better at that- most of the time. I always "retain the right" for a game time decision if it's truly something that jeopardizes my emotional sobriety - like our 25th high school reunion this wkd.

Your ideas are not melodramatic to me - it is life or death.

Everyone here knows that recovery is the backdrop of my life. And I only do things that support it.

Like today, I woke up pissy for absolutely no reason. I made the Kuerig coffee with no mug underneath. And so on - life is apparently hard today so I'm sticking close to home and glad I haven't cursed at anything or anyone (in my head) yet.

Life in a beautiful world like I have is worth it- whatever it takes. I'm not missing out on anything.

Just my ESH.

lessgravity

I walk the same exact paths but with new eyes, a stronger spirit, a clear mind, confidence, calmness and self-trust.

It's a whole new world, a better one, brighter, and I owe everything that has come and continues to come my way, luck or tragedy, to my sobriety.