Day 24 here and feeling overwhelmed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 54
Day 24 here and feeling overwhelmed
Hey all... I really appreciate being able to share with this group.. first and foremost thank you.
Today I've been kinda hounded by thoughts that leave me feeling a bit overwhelmed. I'm realising everyone I talk to that hasn't been an addict, basically seems to have their lives more together than me.. I'm talking about my peers and fellow professionals in my field, and also just generally other people I respect. It makes me feel overwhelmed, like what have I learnt in the last 5 years? Barely anything I think. Except that what I was doing was wrong. And yeah it goes back longer than 5 years with other various addictions too on and off I think... whether its with people or other things, sometimes healthier.
Just feel a bit low and like I've missed that last train somehow.
Anyone relate? or.. anything?
Many thanks in advance as always....
Today I've been kinda hounded by thoughts that leave me feeling a bit overwhelmed. I'm realising everyone I talk to that hasn't been an addict, basically seems to have their lives more together than me.. I'm talking about my peers and fellow professionals in my field, and also just generally other people I respect. It makes me feel overwhelmed, like what have I learnt in the last 5 years? Barely anything I think. Except that what I was doing was wrong. And yeah it goes back longer than 5 years with other various addictions too on and off I think... whether its with people or other things, sometimes healthier.
Just feel a bit low and like I've missed that last train somehow.
Anyone relate? or.. anything?
Many thanks in advance as always....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
You can't get your life together in 24 days however much you want to 
It was all I could do to not drink for the first 30 days.
By the 90 days point I was still not all together but I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Other people may be more together than you - or they may not be, despite appearances.
In the end, so what?
They have their lifejourney of leaning and fulfillment and you have yours.
Don't rush it - stressing and worry and wanting things now are all things that can lead us to drink again if we leave them unchecked....
maybe right now, you're right where you need to be?
D
It was all I could do to not drink for the first 30 days.
By the 90 days point I was still not all together but I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Other people may be more together than you - or they may not be, despite appearances.
In the end, so what?
They have their lifejourney of leaning and fulfillment and you have yours.
Don't rush it - stressing and worry and wanting things now are all things that can lead us to drink again if we leave them unchecked....
maybe right now, you're right where you need to be?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I sometimes mourn over the fact that my peers have left me behind in many ways in life, including professionally. In fact just reading your post brings up some of those feelings. All I can do now is focus on what is available before me, diminished as it is, and enjoy the fact that I'm not actively on the road of destruction today. I have accomplished some things that I can be proud of in the past months, and I have to be grateful for those things while being mindful that it has been much worse in the recent past.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 54
Thank you Dee. I have a tendency to rush things... and stress about rushing or not rushing ... I have a history of that. And yes worrying and also wanting things *now*. Sigh.... I just feel guilty too I guess.
I watch the thoughts that say 'grab a few beesr' but I let them fly right past... I stay detached. I know beer won't fix anything. I just feel fear too I guess, and I'm not used to feeling fear so plainly, it hurts so much when I think of it
I was suicidal 2 years ago, in the thick of my drinking. I feel like I hit rock bottom.... and now I'm newly sober I sometimes feel like a rudderless boat tossed amongst the seas, however they choose to toss me.....
Thank you so much for listening...
I watch the thoughts that say 'grab a few beesr' but I let them fly right past... I stay detached. I know beer won't fix anything. I just feel fear too I guess, and I'm not used to feeling fear so plainly, it hurts so much when I think of it
I was suicidal 2 years ago, in the thick of my drinking. I feel like I hit rock bottom.... and now I'm newly sober I sometimes feel like a rudderless boat tossed amongst the seas, however they choose to toss me.....Thank you so much for listening...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 54
Originally Posted by Guener 
I sometimes mourn over the fact that my peers have left me behind in many ways in life, including professionally. In fact just reading your post brings up some of those feelings. All I can do now is focus on what is available before me, diminished as it is, and enjoy the fact that I'm not actively on the road of destruction today. I have accomplished some things that I can be proud of in the past months, and I have to be grateful for those things while being mindful that it has been much worse in the recent past.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
I think all drinkers and users have that "I've wasted my life" feeling at some point when they are drinking and it does crop up again if you are one of the smart drinkers who knows to quit. While that feeling of regret never vanishes, it does become less intense and who knows, maybe having gone through something like that makes us more knowledgable in some aspects.
Congratulations on 24 days though peaceandfreedom, that's great.
Congratulations on 24 days though peaceandfreedom, that's great.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 132
I know exactly what you mean I used to feel the same way. If you ran into me in the street and we got talking you'd think I had my s**t together as well. Nice house, nice car, good job, I present well, kids went to private school. Ha what a joke. What I wouldn't tell you is that every night I'd go home and polish off a bottle of wine. Looks can be deceiving.
You do you.
You do you.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hey Peace (and all)! - First, you sound like you are doing AWESOME to me. For a huge reason like being 24 days sober when 2 yrs ago you shared being suicidal. THAT is victory.
And, yes yes yes, I'm another who gets the stuff you're feeling. I was very sick when I quit, as most of yall know, and it took me way longer than a month to even feel significantly better; around 100 days was a good shift forward in a lot of ways.
As far as the Big Life Picture goes? Well, my life here at 3 yr and change is nothing what I would have written out for myself. But it's more perfect than I could have written. It's real, lovely, complicated, hopeful....my early adult life was a high flying, high income sales career, and essentially the trajectory of the successful life I'd grown up meant to have, so to speak. Yeah, it was a good life in a lot of ways, and I went thru hell to get to where I am now, but the moral of my story is that being alive, first of all, when I wouldn't have been if I hadn't quit drinking, and having built the new life I have now is the best thing of all.
That doesn't mean that I haven't been creating dragons in my head about my 25th high school reunion this wkd. But doing the right stuff to build a good sober life is what I need to do, whatever my high school friends and classmates are doing - and appreciating my patient husband who also went to high school with me, as I spin around about this whole reunion boondoggle (in my mind, anyway, like the good alcoholic I am), and get back to what I just said about the life I have is what I gotta do.
Keep going- glad you are here. Our perspective on pretty much everything keeps clearing up as we stay sober. For me, the comparison game is usually a rare one now.
And, yes yes yes, I'm another who gets the stuff you're feeling. I was very sick when I quit, as most of yall know, and it took me way longer than a month to even feel significantly better; around 100 days was a good shift forward in a lot of ways.
As far as the Big Life Picture goes? Well, my life here at 3 yr and change is nothing what I would have written out for myself. But it's more perfect than I could have written. It's real, lovely, complicated, hopeful....my early adult life was a high flying, high income sales career, and essentially the trajectory of the successful life I'd grown up meant to have, so to speak. Yeah, it was a good life in a lot of ways, and I went thru hell to get to where I am now, but the moral of my story is that being alive, first of all, when I wouldn't have been if I hadn't quit drinking, and having built the new life I have now is the best thing of all.
That doesn't mean that I haven't been creating dragons in my head about my 25th high school reunion this wkd. But doing the right stuff to build a good sober life is what I need to do, whatever my high school friends and classmates are doing - and appreciating my patient husband who also went to high school with me, as I spin around about this whole reunion boondoggle (in my mind, anyway, like the good alcoholic I am), and get back to what I just said about the life I have is what I gotta do.
Keep going- glad you are here. Our perspective on pretty much everything keeps clearing up as we stay sober. For me, the comparison game is usually a rare one now.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
First things first: Focus on staying sober, if that goes out the window, nothing else matters. Secondly, brace yourself, because the first six months are uneven, with brain fog and PAWS and what not, at least that’s how it was for me.
But after that you’ll see that it will start coming together - I’m 22 months in and pedal to the metal on my career, it is the best it has ever been. Just stay the course, do your recovery work, and it will be the same for you!
But after that you’ll see that it will start coming together - I’m 22 months in and pedal to the metal on my career, it is the best it has ever been. Just stay the course, do your recovery work, and it will be the same for you!
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