Feeling lost - Day 23
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 54
Feeling lost - Day 23
Hey guys,
So, I'm feeling odd. I'm trying to work out, eat healthy, learn new things, go back to my old fun things, relax, rest, all that stuff. Day to day stuff...
But I feel this sense of being lost. And, I might have felt this way when I was drinking, but now, it feels a bit worse. Like, now I have no excuse not to be really amazing and awesome because I'm sober. And when I was drinking I think subconsciously I was like well, I can't achieve much right now cos I'm drinking, so I'll just coast.
But now, just coasting, doesn't seem enough. I feel guilty almost doing it. As if I should be doing more amazing things and I'm not. It takes a while doesn't it? To get back to being a properly functioning sober person again? I just feel like I'm somehow not being an awesome enough person to justify my existence considering I'm sober and technically not imbibing mind-body altering substances... am I being too hard on myself? Anyone else gone through this kinda thing
and come out the other side?
So, I'm feeling odd. I'm trying to work out, eat healthy, learn new things, go back to my old fun things, relax, rest, all that stuff. Day to day stuff...
But I feel this sense of being lost. And, I might have felt this way when I was drinking, but now, it feels a bit worse. Like, now I have no excuse not to be really amazing and awesome because I'm sober. And when I was drinking I think subconsciously I was like well, I can't achieve much right now cos I'm drinking, so I'll just coast.
But now, just coasting, doesn't seem enough. I feel guilty almost doing it. As if I should be doing more amazing things and I'm not. It takes a while doesn't it? To get back to being a properly functioning sober person again? I just feel like I'm somehow not being an awesome enough person to justify my existence considering I'm sober and technically not imbibing mind-body altering substances... am I being too hard on myself? Anyone else gone through this kinda thing
and come out the other side?
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
I get it.
I personally don't relate to the people here who have these amazing spiritual or physical transformations.
Drinking is ONE problem in my life that I've solved at this moment, it doesn't do a heck of a lot for the rest of them (in-fact it makes my existing problems stand out MUCH more clearly).
The only thing I can say is that sobriety allows us to face our problems fully and without a mask / veil.
I personally don't relate to the people here who have these amazing spiritual or physical transformations.
Drinking is ONE problem in my life that I've solved at this moment, it doesn't do a heck of a lot for the rest of them (in-fact it makes my existing problems stand out MUCH more clearly).
The only thing I can say is that sobriety allows us to face our problems fully and without a mask / veil.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Yes, I think you're being too hard on yourself. 
You don't have to be 'awesome' every minute. There will be days and moments where you can just coast and not have to perform. Be gentle with yourself.
You don't have to be 'awesome' every minute. There will be days and moments where you can just coast and not have to perform. Be gentle with yourself. Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
try not to worry too much. Early recovery is a time of some pretty big emotional swings.
Things will settle down and I'm sure you'll find that you'll have a good idea of who you are and where you want to be eventually
This is not the best things will get
D
Things will settle down and I'm sure you'll find that you'll have a good idea of who you are and where you want to be eventually
This is not the best things will get
D
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
keep moving forward odaat - one day at a time and it will all work out
when i was 23 days sober my big concern was showing up early to the (AA) meeting for the most important job! ----- coffee maker!
when i was 23 days sober my big concern was showing up early to the (AA) meeting for the most important job! ----- coffee maker!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by peaceandfreedom 
am I being too hard on myself?
You are twenty three days sober. All your focus should be on attaining 24.
You can change the world later.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Interesting thought. I've never thought of sobriety that way.
I actually achieved quite a big when I was drinking, until things got really bad.
But after I got sober, I was able to build on what I had started drunk.
So things got better that way. But I didn't have a burning bush moment where all of a sudden I was some kind of super-achiever sober.
Much more subtle.
But the only thing that changed was everything. I became dependable. I did better work.
But I never have yet achieved supersoberdom.
I'm just me, going about my merry way doing the best I can.
I actually achieved quite a big when I was drinking, until things got really bad.
But after I got sober, I was able to build on what I had started drunk.
So things got better that way. But I didn't have a burning bush moment where all of a sudden I was some kind of super-achiever sober.
Much more subtle.
But the only thing that changed was everything. I became dependable. I did better work.
But I never have yet achieved supersoberdom.
I'm just me, going about my merry way doing the best I can.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Just breathe, I too am overwhelmed by how I’m not hustling every second to be the improved 2.0 sober me. I wrote down all my goals, put a timeline for accomplishing them. Just relax and get to 30 days, then 60,90. Slowly it will all come together. You definitely will be more lost by drinking. Stay strong, be proud of yourself you already accomplished so much by being sober.
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