ThatWasTheOldMe

Mine is going wild today on day 15.
"You're self-employed now"
"Nobody will know"
"Dad can't even tell when I'm drunk"
"I can lie at the meeting Tuesday night (relapse prevention meeting)"
"I went 15 days, am I really an alcoholic?"
"Blah blah blah blah blah..."

Sometimes it just won't shut up. And then I remember the withdrawal. The going for a walk on day 1 and jumping about a foot to my left because a little dog barked at me from across the street. The feeling like my heart was about to explode laying in my bed. The unbearable nausea.

I think I'll pass on the relapse this time.

biminiblue

ha. I was so jumpy in early days.

I bet that dog wasn't even barking at you. BUT I KNOW!!!

That nagging insistent voice loses its power the longer you tell it to back off. I still have some knee-jerk thoughts now and then but they are very easily dismissed.

Keep it going.

The way out is continuous sober time.

least

Ignore that voice and keep going.

AnvilheadII

i found it better to acknowledge the voice - thanks for sharing - and then turn my thoughts elsewhere, then to engage in a debate with the voices. the voices are not rational, and they are single minded in their purpose. they will not back down in the face of fact or reason.

Kenway

i know i'm new to this, but i think it's REALLY good that you wrote it down and shared it.

one of my biggest hurdles is living alone, so I have VERY similar thoughts: "who will know?"

I think that's what Jack Trimpey refers to as "vertigo": when you're by yourself and the AV sees it as an opportunity to infiltrate your defenses.

one of the things I try to employ is telling myself that it's not really me... it's just an echo, the vestiges of an addiction that will get weaker over time.

I know... easier said than done.

i'm going to do the same, though. i'm only 3 days in, so all the sickness and nausea and being able to feel my pulse without even trying to find it - it's all fresh in my mind.

buuuuut, as we all know, these memories have a way of fading. when I experience this vertigo, i'm going to hop on here as quickly as possible.

thanks for the post!

nez

I know what you mean. I had a whole chorus of voices going on in my cranium. As I progressed in recovery, I got to the point where I likened them to chattering monkeys which made them less influential. It didn't shut them up at all, but I didn't have to base my actions upon their chatter. Eventually the chattering became more like white noise, just existing in the back ground. Now, I have come to realization that the monkeys are part of an exhibit at the zoo. I eat some popcorn. Take in the exhibit, and then move on to the next one.

Kaily

Yes it will try every trick in the book. Be stubborn, acknowledge it for what it is but don't debate with it. Just say NO or laugh at its stupidity to think you would pick up again.

15 days is Great ~ Keep going.

ConfusedGuy

Glad you staying sober! - Had a bit of the 'Alcoholic Voice' on Friday evening - saying 'One last time will be okay' - all this lies is like a big war going on inside my head! - So I share it here on another thread, and so glad I dont follow this voice!!
It's good to know that other people also have this voice! - I am told it will get less with time and a sober life. And today was really nice day, I already posted photos on another thread!

Dee74

Urge Surfing as a technique was helpful to me:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)

D

Ihadmyfill

My AV mellowed over time. Don't give it power and it will get weaker. BUT.....always remember it will never completely die!

Tailai