romancing a drink
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 1
romancing a drink
Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum. I am a recovering alcoholic and have been sober for 28 years. I stopped going to meetings 2 years ago due to resentments mostly. Also I got lazy and disinterested . Lately I have been dealing with other issues and right now I just want to drink a glass of wine for my anxiety. I would like to be able to drink one glass every night to help me sleep and give me some damn relief after a day of anxiety. I suffer from health anxiety and have a fear of taking pills also. I just want the wine which is funny because I was a beer drinker. wine gave me head aches. anyway just needed to get this written . I want to go to an aa meeting but I never do it.
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by randd 
Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum. I am a recovering alcoholic and have been sober for 28 years. I stopped going to meetings 2 years ago due to resentments mostly. Also I got lazy and disinterested . Lately I have been dealing with other issues and right now I just want to drink a glass of wine for my anxiety. I would like to be able to drink one glass every night to help me sleep and give me some damn relief after a day of anxiety. I suffer from health anxiety and have a fear of taking pills also. I just want the wine which is funny because I was a beer drinker. wine gave me head aches. anyway just needed to get this written . I want to go to an aa meeting but I never do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Hi randd - welcome 
if you're a drinker like me you'd never be satisfied with just one glass
There's a technique you've probably heard of called 'playing the tape through to the end' - that means thinking past the romantic rosy daydream of genteel drinking and facing the stark reality of where drinking took us.
I don't think the toxic relationship between ourselves and alcohol ever changes for alcoholics like me .
I'd be back neck deep in the madness if I drank again, even after 12 years for me. I reckon it would be the same for you after 28, too.
You can get some help for your anxiety, and you can find a new meeting if you can't get past the resentments.
28 years would be a long time to throw away.
D
if you're a drinker like me you'd never be satisfied with just one glass
There's a technique you've probably heard of called 'playing the tape through to the end' - that means thinking past the romantic rosy daydream of genteel drinking and facing the stark reality of where drinking took us.
I don't think the toxic relationship between ourselves and alcohol ever changes for alcoholics like me .
I'd be back neck deep in the madness if I drank again, even after 12 years for me. I reckon it would be the same for you after 28, too.
You can get some help for your anxiety, and you can find a new meeting if you can't get past the resentments.
28 years would be a long time to throw away.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Just get to that meeting ! You need to save your life. Do not drink no matter what. Do not throw all your time away. From someone who was a HUGE romantaciser of wine and in the pits of despair only a year ago, just one drink will take you down!!
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
I started because of anxiety.
I thought a glass of my husbands wine would relax me and calm me down.
No one just developes an alcohol problem at 35 when theyve never had a problem before, right?
Wrong. And the one glass to calm me down turned into two, and so on
If youre going to drink,, at least be honest with yourself.
And the insomnia excuse is just that, an excuse that my alcoholic husband used all the time.
If you have an anxiety disorder like me go to a doctor and learn management skills.
Alcohol is NEVER the answer and it will turn on you and leave you a shell of yourself.
I thought a glass of my husbands wine would relax me and calm me down.
No one just developes an alcohol problem at 35 when theyve never had a problem before, right?
Wrong. And the one glass to calm me down turned into two, and so on
If youre going to drink,, at least be honest with yourself.
And the insomnia excuse is just that, an excuse that my alcoholic husband used all the time.
If you have an anxiety disorder like me go to a doctor and learn management skills.
Alcohol is NEVER the answer and it will turn on you and leave you a shell of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
If you really just want something to sleep get some melatonin. Don't like pills? No problem. It comes in gummies. That's what my daughter who does not like pills takes. It even comes in liquid form.
Natural and it works..... of course it won't get you that alcohol high... so maybe it's time to ask yourself what are you really looking for.
Natural and it works..... of course it won't get you that alcohol high... so maybe it's time to ask yourself what are you really looking for.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
My brother started drinking after twenty four years sober. He is now back to being the same low-life he was before he quit.
He was active in AA. He started a meeting that was well attended, worked with other alcoholics and walked the straight and narrow.
Now he's been in county jail twice, is constantly begging for money and living in a rooming house.
All, or mostly, because he got tired of going to meetings.
It's sad, but there's nothing I can do for him except watch him die a slow, miserable death.
He's a real alcoholic. And so am I.
I can never safely drink.
Not even a glass of wine. I know all too well where that would lead.
There's nothing I can say to you to keep you from having that glass of wine.
Only share what I've seen and what I know.
read my tag line at the bottom of this post.
That's where I was headed. Is that what you want?
My brother started drinking after twenty four years sober. He is now back to being the same low-life he was before he quit.
He was active in AA. He started a meeting that was well attended, worked with other alcoholics and walked the straight and narrow.
Now he's been in county jail twice, is constantly begging for money and living in a rooming house.
All, or mostly, because he got tired of going to meetings.
It's sad, but there's nothing I can do for him except watch him die a slow, miserable death.
He's a real alcoholic. And so am I.
I can never safely drink.
Not even a glass of wine. I know all too well where that would lead.
There's nothing I can say to you to keep you from having that glass of wine.
Only share what I've seen and what I know.
read my tag line at the bottom of this post.
That's where I was headed. Is that what you want?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I tried that experiment. Quit for 18 years. Started having one - for - reasons.
Five years later I was drinking daily, and a lot more than one drink. Seven years later I was right back at drinking all day every day and my life was terrifying me again. Now I'm five years sober on this second go-round. I hope to never pour another drink into my own mouth again.
If AA worked for 26 years for you, I'd think going back for a refresher course might be a good plan. I don't know, I am not an AA person - but it seems logical.
I can find a resentment just about anywhere if I'm looking for one.
Five years later I was drinking daily, and a lot more than one drink. Seven years later I was right back at drinking all day every day and my life was terrifying me again. Now I'm five years sober on this second go-round. I hope to never pour another drink into my own mouth again.
If AA worked for 26 years for you, I'd think going back for a refresher course might be a good plan. I don't know, I am not an AA person - but it seems logical.
I can find a resentment just about anywhere if I'm looking for one.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
I'd say if you have not had a drink in 28 years and have resentments (plural) and are unwilling to go to a meeting, you are definitely in real danger of picking up a drink. I sure didn't get sober to be miserable.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
I have 24 years, and I don't go to meetings anymore either, but I long ago decided that if I ever got to a place like where you are now, I'd get myself back there pronto. This is not the time to let resentments get in the way.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,642
Alcohol only reduces anxiety while it's in your system. As your liver eliminates it, your anxiety will get worse due to how it interacts with GABA receptors in your brain and how your central nervous system handles its presence.
I've had 13 months in the past. It was no 28 years, but as soon as I picked back up, I was back to the alcoholic behavior.
I've had 13 months in the past. It was no 28 years, but as soon as I picked back up, I was back to the alcoholic behavior.
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by ThatWasTheOldMe
Alcohol only reduces anxiety while it's in your system. As your liver eliminates it, your anxiety will get worse due to how it interacts with GABA receptors in your brain and how your central nervous system handles its presence.
I've had 13 months in the past. It was no 28 years, but as soon as I picked back up, I was back to the alcoholic behavior.
I've had 13 months in the past. It was no 28 years, but as soon as I picked back up, I was back to the alcoholic behavior.
That rebound anxiety is intense, awful and the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. It made me literally pray for a swift end to my life.
Its curious that so many people with anxiety disorders turn to the bottle for relief that is temporary at best and only exacerbates the condition.
There are many supplements and natural/homepathic remedies that WILL help if utalized consistantly.
The only thing I can think of is the actual ritual of drinking provides some pychological relief, but honestly not much.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,402
Don’t allow yourself any excuses to rationalise a drink.
For me my recovery is about living the 12steps. I also attend meetings regularly presently though didn’t for many years through personal choice. If you honestly don’t want to go to meetings then don’t go; that doesn’t have to be any excuse to drink. However as you know “resentments are the no1 offenders” for relapses so regardless you’d need to let those resentments go to maintain spiritual fitness in my experience.
Ultimately step 1 needs to be looked at if you’re genuinely romanticising a glass of wine. For this alcoholic that never existed and never would. There is an underlying dis-ease that i’m looking to fix if that BS would enter my head. Usually a lack of gratitude plays a massive part too.
Meetings can be great to help one get clarity back if it has diminished. So it might be a good idea to get to AA meetings to get some clarity of thought back. Regardless of what you decide drinking after 28 years for a glass of wine seems like a pretty insane choice for an alcoholic; more apt actually it seems like a sane choice once the insanity of thought is back.
Just my experience and well done on 28 yrs sobriety; an incredible achievement 🙏
For me my recovery is about living the 12steps. I also attend meetings regularly presently though didn’t for many years through personal choice. If you honestly don’t want to go to meetings then don’t go; that doesn’t have to be any excuse to drink. However as you know “resentments are the no1 offenders” for relapses so regardless you’d need to let those resentments go to maintain spiritual fitness in my experience.
Ultimately step 1 needs to be looked at if you’re genuinely romanticising a glass of wine. For this alcoholic that never existed and never would. There is an underlying dis-ease that i’m looking to fix if that BS would enter my head. Usually a lack of gratitude plays a massive part too.
Meetings can be great to help one get clarity back if it has diminished. So it might be a good idea to get to AA meetings to get some clarity of thought back. Regardless of what you decide drinking after 28 years for a glass of wine seems like a pretty insane choice for an alcoholic; more apt actually it seems like a sane choice once the insanity of thought is back.
Just my experience and well done on 28 yrs sobriety; an incredible achievement 🙏
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Welcome, randd - great to have you with us.
For me, there was never 'one'. Not even once. As soon as that first drink was in my system anything could happen. When I finally realized that willpower was never going to save me, I was able to get free and heal. You know what to do.
For me, there was never 'one'. Not even once. As soon as that first drink was in my system anything could happen. When I finally realized that willpower was never going to save me, I was able to get free and heal. You know what to do.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hey randd,
who are you?
are you the person who has one drink, a small glass of wine to relax with maybe at dinner, or?
or the person who touches the stuff and then craves more, has more and odd things "happen"?
i wonder if in all your years of meetings you have done the step work? regardless, seems like step one might be a good one to sit with for a while. see what's going on with that.
who are you?
are you the person who has one drink, a small glass of wine to relax with maybe at dinner, or?
or the person who touches the stuff and then craves more, has more and odd things "happen"?
i wonder if in all your years of meetings you have done the step work? regardless, seems like step one might be a good one to sit with for a while. see what's going on with that.
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