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Old 04-19-2019, 11:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Day 21 and invites to parties


Hey guys... so Day 21 here. Going ok. Bit exhausted from probably working out a bit too hard yesterday, so trying to not judge myself for resting a bit today!

I had an invite to a party at a pub .. I had said yes to it about a week ago. It's a lady from my work who is really lovely, and she knows I don't drink. But yeah, doesn't know WHY I don't drink.

I had said yes, because I had managed to have dinner with a good friend at a restaurant the other week, and I was I think Day 5... anyway I knew he would order a beer and I was worried about how it would make me feel but I did it anyway and I had a ginger beer that was delicious anyway (no alcohol, just a softdrink I do enjoy). So THAT went ok, and I really enjoyed the time.

But I am not feeling I can go to a *pub* yet with a large group of people no doubt many offering me a drink because it's a birthday party at a pub.

I feel nervous and sweaty at the idea of even going, anxious even. I don't want to be in that position and I feel like I underestimated everything when I said yes. I'm nervous in social situations at the best of times, and this is REALLY difficult because ..well.. its a pub. Am I overreacting?

I don't want to go only because it's just too full on and I'm so early in my sobriety and I've been doing so well but yeah.. feel like I'm not up for a pub environment for a very long time.

Any thoughts or comments are appreciated...
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Old 04-20-2019, 12:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't want to go only because it's just too full on and I'm so early in my sobriety and I've been doing so well but yeah.. feel like I'm not up for a pub environment for a very long time.

Any thoughts or comments are appreciated...
Use your own thoughts/intuition about not going.

Also.. Dinner vs a bday party in a pub/bar 'with the girls' are two completely different atmospheres.
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Old 04-20-2019, 12:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It's making you uncomfortable, you're very early in sobriety, and you are anxious in social situations. This sounds pretty clear to me that you should not go. Why put yourself in a risky situation?
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Old 04-20-2019, 12:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
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seeing as you asked for advice - I'd pass.

Honestly - 3 weeks is not the time to jump back in the deep end IMO.

I missed a few parties and a few get togethers but I gained a bullet proof recovery - and 12 years old noone remembers which parties I missed, least of all me.

Listen to your instincts.

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Old 04-20-2019, 04:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hey everyone, thanks heaps...

I stayed at home and did not go - I said I was unwell... I think I'll be avoiding get-togethers at pubs for quite a while. Thanks again to all.
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Old 04-20-2019, 05:30 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Don't go to this stuff. Always what I say. Always.

What's your priority? Staying sober, yes? Adding unnecessary risk to that now is ... risky.
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Old 04-20-2019, 05:38 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hey everyone, thanks heaps...

I stayed at home and did not go - I said I was unwell... I think I'll be avoiding get-togethers at pubs for quite a while. Thanks again to all.
Good decision!
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Old 04-20-2019, 06:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Iíve been to England and I couldnít go to a pub right now either..... the only bar Iíd go to would be a salad bar or coffee bar. You made the right right choice, staying sober is your baby or puppy right now, gotta take care of it. I canít even go to the beach or the pool right now because they are triggers for me. Keep eyes on the prize.
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Old 04-20-2019, 07:17 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Good choice! And I'd add, since it sounds like you will likely have more invites soon - think about how you will handle that, from the initial yes or no all the way thru what you will do if you go or not.
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