Just a wee update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Just a wee update
Hello dear SR friends,
Although I’m no longer active on here, I’m still lurking from time to time.
You guys gave me so much support and confidence to keep trying, so I thought I could post a quick update.
So, I’ve been sober for a few months now and gotta admit I hardly ever think about picking up a drink. I don’t know - a lot is triggering; like difficulties with finding a decent job etc (I worked in one crappy place for a month, but it was so awful I quit
) and I constantly question myself if coming back to my home country after so many years was a good idea, but I decided to give it a go so I try to rebuild my life here. I have a very supportive partner and I see a counsellor twice a week. I think a lot about how I feel little lost, life happens and I have so many problems to face now - but these problems no longer include waking up in my own vomit, feeling of dread and panic, not remembering what I said or did...
Some of you know that I’ve been struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts and self-harm for a long time. Oh boy, I wish I could tell you it all went away since I got sober, but unfortunately it is still a real struggle and I had a few severe depressive episodes when I went bat$hit crazy without a drop of alcohol. However thanks to my sober time, I was able to track my mood swings and have discovered that my depression might be hormones-related. I had some blood tests done and I’m treated for a thyroid disease now. Who knows - it might help.
Facing my demons and living sober is not easy, but I learn so much about myself and guys, seriously... I know it sounds like a cliche, but I had no idea about some issues I tried to bury. I feel damaged, but I try to be patient with myself coz ugh it’s gonna take time to heal this gloomy head. I’m confident everything’s gonna be fine tho - I have so much love to give.
Take care guys,
Hugs to all of you!
Although I’m no longer active on here, I’m still lurking from time to time.
You guys gave me so much support and confidence to keep trying, so I thought I could post a quick update. So, I’ve been sober for a few months now and gotta admit I hardly ever think about picking up a drink. I don’t know - a lot is triggering; like difficulties with finding a decent job etc (I worked in one crappy place for a month, but it was so awful I quit
) and I constantly question myself if coming back to my home country after so many years was a good idea, but I decided to give it a go so I try to rebuild my life here. I have a very supportive partner and I see a counsellor twice a week. I think a lot about how I feel little lost, life happens and I have so many problems to face now - but these problems no longer include waking up in my own vomit, feeling of dread and panic, not remembering what I said or did...Some of you know that I’ve been struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts and self-harm for a long time. Oh boy, I wish I could tell you it all went away since I got sober, but unfortunately it is still a real struggle and I had a few severe depressive episodes when I went bat$hit crazy without a drop of alcohol. However thanks to my sober time, I was able to track my mood swings and have discovered that my depression might be hormones-related. I had some blood tests done and I’m treated for a thyroid disease now. Who knows - it might help.
Facing my demons and living sober is not easy, but I learn so much about myself and guys, seriously... I know it sounds like a cliche, but I had no idea about some issues I tried to bury. I feel damaged, but I try to be patient with myself coz ugh it’s gonna take time to heal this gloomy head. I’m confident everything’s gonna be fine tho - I have so much love to give.
Take care guys,
Hugs to all of you!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,280
Hello Snuf 
Great to hear from you and well done for your sober time.
I agree, mental illness is real struggle no matter what but it's a hell of lot easier to manage when sober and life can even be ok at times
Good luck to you.
Take care,
John
Great to hear from you and well done for your sober time.
I agree, mental illness is real struggle no matter what but it's a hell of lot easier to manage when sober and life can even be ok at times
Good luck to you.
Take care,
John
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Great to hear from you and what a positive update!
keep at it, and I’m happy to hear you’re finding progress in working on treatment of your depression.
when I got sober it was a journey of discovery to even identify and accept my issues with depression and get them properly addressed. It got so much better!
all the best to you and don’t be a stranger!
keep at it, and I’m happy to hear you’re finding progress in working on treatment of your depression.
when I got sober it was a journey of discovery to even identify and accept my issues with depression and get them properly addressed. It got so much better!
all the best to you and don’t be a stranger!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Thanks for the update!
Glad you got your thyroid checked. I'm actually thinking of doing that, too. Something's not right in my system.
I hope things continue to improve!
Glad you got your thyroid checked. I'm actually thinking of doing that, too. Something's not right in my system.
I hope things continue to improve!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi Snuf!!
Great job not drinking!! And thyroid problems can cause a lot of problems so good job catching that and getting it treated!! I am a firm believer in adding thyroid testing in recovery. For everyone actually. If I listed all the problems I had when mine quit working this post would be 12 pages long.
Then add depression, suicidal ideation, and a eating disorder on top of everything.
Quitting drinking has improved my life in more ways than I can count. It has given me a chance to work on things that aren't working too!
Rock on Snuf!!
Great job not drinking!! And thyroid problems can cause a lot of problems so good job catching that and getting it treated!! I am a firm believer in adding thyroid testing in recovery. For everyone actually. If I listed all the problems I had when mine quit working this post would be 12 pages long.
Then add depression, suicidal ideation, and a eating disorder on top of everything.
Quitting drinking has improved my life in more ways than I can count. It has given me a chance to work on things that aren't working too!
Rock on Snuf!!
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by 360shoes 
Hi Snuf!!
Great job not drinking!! And thyroid problems can cause a lot of problems so good job catching that and getting it treated!! I am a firm believer in adding thyroid testing in recovery. For everyone actually. If I listed all the problems I had when mine quit working this post would be 12 pages long.
Then add depression, suicidal ideation, and a eating disorder on top of everything.
Quitting drinking has improved my life in more ways than I can count. It has given me a chance to work on things that aren't working too!
Rock on Snuf!!
Great job not drinking!! And thyroid problems can cause a lot of problems so good job catching that and getting it treated!! I am a firm believer in adding thyroid testing in recovery. For everyone actually. If I listed all the problems I had when mine quit working this post would be 12 pages long.
Then add depression, suicidal ideation, and a eating disorder on top of everything.
Quitting drinking has improved my life in more ways than I can count. It has given me a chance to work on things that aren't working too!
Rock on Snuf!!
I was diagnosed with Hashimotos. I agree that thyroid testing should be a much more common occurance. My depression and fatique are gone since Ive been taking thyroid meds and stopped alcohol intake.
Blessings on your journey Snuf
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
snuf,
Your post helped me this morning.
Nobody knows what goes on in my head unless I tell them.
As I continue to heal from my drinking days the stabilized feelings are longer and longer.
I feel like it emanates and folks around me sense it. What is leads to is reassurance that I am moving in the right direction by being a non drinker.
I am an addict for life and will always crave the buzz. This morning I skipped my spoon of moringa and substituted a b12 and multi v. I can feel the difference.
I am enjoying a fairly strong cup of instant coffee with sugar free creamer.
All of those things give me a buzz. Not like booze, but a buzz nonetheless. My workout yesterday consisted of over 37 minutes of treadmill high intensity interval training. It gave me a buzz that lasted several hours.
I slept like a baby for over 8 hours with only one interruption about 3 hours in.
I feel more happy and content then ever, but I still have negative thoughts all the time. It is like evil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Sometimes I just want to scream, but I don't.
When I was a drunk, at least one or two times a year, I would go off on my poor wife with harsh screams the neighbors could hear from 3 houses away. These instances could have easily escalated into something horrible.
This will never happen again because I don't drink anymore.
I pray like a nun constantly to myself. Prayer gives me instant contentment.
My BP is way down and I don't stay very sick for more than 24 hours. My immune system is like a furnace.
I don't believe the hype. Booze is poison.
God bless SR and all of you for educating and supporting all of us.
Thanks for the therapy.
Your post helped me this morning.
Nobody knows what goes on in my head unless I tell them.
As I continue to heal from my drinking days the stabilized feelings are longer and longer.
I feel like it emanates and folks around me sense it. What is leads to is reassurance that I am moving in the right direction by being a non drinker.
I am an addict for life and will always crave the buzz. This morning I skipped my spoon of moringa and substituted a b12 and multi v. I can feel the difference.
I am enjoying a fairly strong cup of instant coffee with sugar free creamer.
All of those things give me a buzz. Not like booze, but a buzz nonetheless. My workout yesterday consisted of over 37 minutes of treadmill high intensity interval training. It gave me a buzz that lasted several hours.
I slept like a baby for over 8 hours with only one interruption about 3 hours in.
I feel more happy and content then ever, but I still have negative thoughts all the time. It is like evil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Sometimes I just want to scream, but I don't.
When I was a drunk, at least one or two times a year, I would go off on my poor wife with harsh screams the neighbors could hear from 3 houses away. These instances could have easily escalated into something horrible.
This will never happen again because I don't drink anymore.
I pray like a nun constantly to myself. Prayer gives me instant contentment.
My BP is way down and I don't stay very sick for more than 24 hours. My immune system is like a furnace.
I don't believe the hype. Booze is poison.
God bless SR and all of you for educating and supporting all of us.
Thanks for the therapy.
Here and now
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
Hey snuf,
Looks like we both managed to string a few months together, I remember we both started quitting at the same time too. I am the same way, struggles still appear but I am much better equipped now at dealing with it and drinking no longer crosses my mind. Keep at it, we can do this!
Looks like we both managed to string a few months together, I remember we both started quitting at the same time too. I am the same way, struggles still appear but I am much better equipped now at dealing with it and drinking no longer crosses my mind. Keep at it, we can do this!
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