Financial Recovery?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Financial Recovery?
Hi, been awhile. I’m sober a few weeks and the financial trouble is really dawning on me and becoming stressful. I’m working, very hard, but it seems I can’t get stable. I’m sticking with sobriety because I want stability in my life. Anyone have some good stories? Did you find your dream job? Save lots of money? Pay off credit cards and steep debts? Thank you for any responses as right now I have less than a dollar to my name. I do at least have enough food for two days and gas to get to work.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Yes mariposa, I have a good story. Or rather a good ending, as the story was rather simple. I prioritized my obligations and did what I had to for each day. Slow and steady progress eventually adds up. One thing for certain, continuing to drink would have only compounded the stress. Good on you for your determination. It’ll pay off and you’ll achieve the stability and freedom you’re after. It won’t happen overnight, but it’ll happen. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Living day to day is stressful to say the least, I am constantly waiting for that next paycheck and am behind in paying off debts that amount to a lot.
I have some possibilities ahead for improvement that are uncertain, but I keep my hope alive for them while trying to balance my funds and outlays in the best way that I can. Working a second job has been on my list of possibilities, but I haven't found one yet that wouldn't just put me into horrible stress or physical exhaustion that my body cannot handle. It bothers me frequently to worry about what I might have to do or if any emergency came up.
My sobriety remains my main focus vs. accepting a role in my former life that was much more lucrative and that is really lost to me now anyway. I do my best in my job that I can with the hope that I will be recognized at my place of employment as capable of a bigger role, and that sustains me most days emotionally.
Keep your eyes open for opportunities and apply to new jobs if that is something you can do that may bring you greater security.
There are people here who have come across financial attainment in their lives, and let that bring you the hope and gumption to strive for yourself. At least you are not having to spend money on the addiction as long as you are abstaining. Trust in yourself.
I have some possibilities ahead for improvement that are uncertain, but I keep my hope alive for them while trying to balance my funds and outlays in the best way that I can. Working a second job has been on my list of possibilities, but I haven't found one yet that wouldn't just put me into horrible stress or physical exhaustion that my body cannot handle. It bothers me frequently to worry about what I might have to do or if any emergency came up.
My sobriety remains my main focus vs. accepting a role in my former life that was much more lucrative and that is really lost to me now anyway. I do my best in my job that I can with the hope that I will be recognized at my place of employment as capable of a bigger role, and that sustains me most days emotionally.
Keep your eyes open for opportunities and apply to new jobs if that is something you can do that may bring you greater security.
There are people here who have come across financial attainment in their lives, and let that bring you the hope and gumption to strive for yourself. At least you are not having to spend money on the addiction as long as you are abstaining. Trust in yourself.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
You can do it
I have been broke twice. Once down to my last 50 bucks. Once dead broke without a penny. I had to borrow money for food. I wish I could say it was easy. I had to live low budget and work all the time. The first time I found a warehouse job with all the overtime you wanted. I worked every weekend for months. But I pulled myself up. You can do it too. The money you save from alcohol is a good start.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
The thing is, I’m in a tough spot from moving and waiting for my qualifications to transfer. It will get better, if I stay sober, I hope. I’m midlife and this is not where I wanted to be. My career field is very stressful also. I guess in a year or two from now I will be financially stable but the time until then, in addition to newly sober, new place, behind on bills.... it’s very complicated. I’ve never had luck with money, no matter how hard I worked. Looking for hope that it will be better.
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
The biggest pay raise I ever received was becoming sober. I was easily spending $100-$200 a week on booze.
Besides not spending the money on booze itself there are ripple effects. I was no longer wasting money on things while drunk. I didn't have to worry about DUIs or ER visits setting me back.
I put my nose to the grindstone and started attacking my debt. I'm proud to say that I am now debt free, have an emergency fund, and am contributing to my retirement accounts. Being debt free is on the same level as being sober.
Besides not spending the money on booze itself there are ripple effects. I was no longer wasting money on things while drunk. I didn't have to worry about DUIs or ER visits setting me back.
I put my nose to the grindstone and started attacking my debt. I'm proud to say that I am now debt free, have an emergency fund, and am contributing to my retirement accounts. Being debt free is on the same level as being sober.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
financial recovery from any point requires an accurate and scathing assessment of what is actually owed. it's painful, like writing a 4th step, but in order to recover, it MUST be done.
then create a budget. income vs expenses. how much money do we have to distribute amongst the debt?
do those two things and you are well on your way. it's easy to find reputable debt elimination plans and gurus. but ALL will say start with the two above suggestions.
then create a budget. income vs expenses. how much money do we have to distribute amongst the debt?
do those two things and you are well on your way. it's easy to find reputable debt elimination plans and gurus. but ALL will say start with the two above suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,645
I'm sober almost two weeks and recently acquired funding for a day trading account. It will be my job soon (my dream job!).
I would not have received the funding had I continued my binge on the 7th of this month. When you get sober, things don't always go perfect, but they certainly get better than living your life drunk.
You can do it!
I would not have received the funding had I continued my binge on the 7th of this month. When you get sober, things don't always go perfect, but they certainly get better than living your life drunk.
You can do it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Thank you all for the replies. It definitely is like a “step”, facing the financial shambles addiction leaves us in, looking at it with a sober eye is terrifying and difficult. I’m no longer inspired to read about sober celebrities bouncing back, yeah I bet it’s a lot easier when loaded with cash and having the option to go to rehab in Malibu with organic fancy food, luxury gyms and well paid professionals. I’m uninspired by it. What about the regular person, midlife or later who bounced back and got a stable life?
I have always written out budgets and it all looks good, then I don’t know what happens, an extra expense, vet bill.... or bender ruins it all. I may just need to double what I think I actually need for weekly spending. I buy cheap as possible at the grocery, I haven’t had a meal out of my house in three weeks, I don’t go anywhere, no movies, nothing. I’m gym, work, home. It will get better, just impatient for the sober life to all start working miracles. First we have to look at the ruins of our lives before the long rebuilding process. Thank you all for responding.
I have always written out budgets and it all looks good, then I don’t know what happens, an extra expense, vet bill.... or bender ruins it all. I may just need to double what I think I actually need for weekly spending. I buy cheap as possible at the grocery, I haven’t had a meal out of my house in three weeks, I don’t go anywhere, no movies, nothing. I’m gym, work, home. It will get better, just impatient for the sober life to all start working miracles. First we have to look at the ruins of our lives before the long rebuilding process. Thank you all for responding.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 135
I filed for bankruptcy; though to be honest, most of my debt was from supporting a family of five on part-time wages while my ex did nothing but help **** my money away. Now that the bankruptcy is in the works and my household is just my son and me, and I am sober, things are starting to get better.
I think it takes time, sobriety, and better life choices. Best wishes to you!
I think it takes time, sobriety, and better life choices. Best wishes to you!
Guest
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
I am debt free. I did it while I was still drinking alcohol. Pay your bills first then part pay those you can’t.. I finally got rid of a credit card debt $7000. I have eaten bread with mayonnaise to pay bills.. I have no money for anything. But at least I have a roof over my head. My psychiatrist and dad sorted me out so I was lucky.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by mariposa 
I bet it’s a lot easier when loaded with cash and having the option to go to rehab in Malibu with organic fancy food, luxury gyms and well paid professionals. I’m uninspired by it. What about the regular person, midlife or later who bounced back and got a stable life?
For myself, finances was a good motivator for getting sober, but not the only one nor the most urgent one. And while it feels great on month two making a large payment to a credit card, watching a small dent get cut into the debt, it sure sucks several months later when you're still doing it every month and all the money you work for goes straight to the credit cards and you're spending about $1/day on food just to get it over with as soon as possible, but those are the breaks from my poor decisions.
That said, I made my last payment earlier this month, about 3 months ahead of schedule by busting ass. All the money each month being paid for over a year to creditors is now mine. I now own my income again.
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 4
I think many of us scored a lot of financial "own goals" while drinking. For me, there were the usual credit card bills, consumer loans, etc. but I had also procrastinated myself into a jam with the IRS. When I stopped drinking 2+ years ago, I started reading accounts of other sober drunks who talked about the financial impact of procrastination. It seems like a small thing, but when you stop doing it, it can help your finances immeasurably. It will take a while, but 2 years in, I've resolved all the tax issues and paid down 2/3s of my consumer debt. Good luck and remember that is really is about paying attention to the little details (and paying on time).
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hey Mariposa- this is a big part of recovery (and life!). I echo what Mark, Dee and Anvil said in particular, as far as what I did.
For my first 90-100 days, I had to get well enough to get a job, I started with a fast food job, and then early that summer of 2016, I sat down first with all my medical bills. It was very much like an actual Step - I clearly remember sitting down with them and calling each, telling them my story, and working out plans. Most of them were $10/mo. Making $8.50 and hour, that was all I could do. I wanted to get them done NOW but I just couldn't.
I also got good at taking a specific amount of cash to the grocery and making that work - typically $40. I refocused my spending in terms of how many hours of work x would equal as far as my spending. I didn't "shop" and I knew that living on very little - as I had for the last years of sobriety but I spent it in crazy fashion- would have to be ok, and it was in fact ok because I got to make clear sober choices about the reality of my situation.
It all took time to unravel. Fortunately, I hadn't had a credit card for 2 years, and I had only opened a back account a year before I quit. I had managed not to overdraw it in the last months of my drinking.
I went back to a server job at 5 mo sober because I had to make more money. I developed good "rules" around depositing money from each shift, keeping very little spending money on hand, and continuing to pay off bills. It seemed enormous at the time but I had to stick with a manageable plan.
Within a year, I had everything paid off. I got a credit card with a low limit.
This all helped with everything from humility, to re-gaining self-sufficiency to better financial solvency. I'm still improving my credit score.
I've been incredibly fortunate that my husband and I can decide for me to work full time on recovery work (mine, and in the larger world of the restaurant industry) and I only "make" a few hundred dollars a month.
But I got myself self-supporting first.
The BB doesn't say we won't ever worry about money or need to make practical decisions or budget or want more...it just says we will be free of fear, and I'd add "crushing" or "desperate" in front of the word fear.
All of this healing takes time. And planning. And support.
Last comment- I remember my sponsor asking me how far I'd be willing to go to get financially right. Bankruptcy? Living in a shelter v my too-expensive apt that was equally expensive to leave? And so on. Some of us have to make those awful decisions - but it's critical in our journey.
Glad you are here, working and aware of this, and can echo everyone else that staying sober is the ONLY way to get thru this.
For my first 90-100 days, I had to get well enough to get a job, I started with a fast food job, and then early that summer of 2016, I sat down first with all my medical bills. It was very much like an actual Step - I clearly remember sitting down with them and calling each, telling them my story, and working out plans. Most of them were $10/mo. Making $8.50 and hour, that was all I could do. I wanted to get them done NOW but I just couldn't.
I also got good at taking a specific amount of cash to the grocery and making that work - typically $40. I refocused my spending in terms of how many hours of work x would equal as far as my spending. I didn't "shop" and I knew that living on very little - as I had for the last years of sobriety but I spent it in crazy fashion- would have to be ok, and it was in fact ok because I got to make clear sober choices about the reality of my situation.
It all took time to unravel. Fortunately, I hadn't had a credit card for 2 years, and I had only opened a back account a year before I quit. I had managed not to overdraw it in the last months of my drinking.
I went back to a server job at 5 mo sober because I had to make more money. I developed good "rules" around depositing money from each shift, keeping very little spending money on hand, and continuing to pay off bills. It seemed enormous at the time but I had to stick with a manageable plan.
Within a year, I had everything paid off. I got a credit card with a low limit.
This all helped with everything from humility, to re-gaining self-sufficiency to better financial solvency. I'm still improving my credit score.
I've been incredibly fortunate that my husband and I can decide for me to work full time on recovery work (mine, and in the larger world of the restaurant industry) and I only "make" a few hundred dollars a month.
But I got myself self-supporting first.
The BB doesn't say we won't ever worry about money or need to make practical decisions or budget or want more...it just says we will be free of fear, and I'd add "crushing" or "desperate" in front of the word fear.
All of this healing takes time. And planning. And support.
Last comment- I remember my sponsor asking me how far I'd be willing to go to get financially right. Bankruptcy? Living in a shelter v my too-expensive apt that was equally expensive to leave? And so on. Some of us have to make those awful decisions - but it's critical in our journey.
Glad you are here, working and aware of this, and can echo everyone else that staying sober is the ONLY way to get thru this.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
I can relate to every post on here. A lot of good advice. And it sounds like you have it in you to start a plan mariposa.
I have f'd up money sober and drunk. Me and money have a disfunctional relationship. Then I realized I personally don't care about it much. I like what it represents and what it can do but to me it is a double edged sword so I have to focus on what I want my life to look like more.
Material things come and go. You can do everything right and something can come up and set you back no matter how much you have in the bank.
I have to focus on living a life of integrity and just follow my passion of being useful to myself and others. I focus on what I do have. And it's not much beings I have to start over too. I remind myself there are people in the hospital 2 blocks from my little apartment that would trade places with me in a minute if they could. I don't always remember that when I look at my credit score now but I try.
Congratulations on quitting drinking!!! No easy feat there!! You are doing great. The finance stuff will work its way out. Keep a roof over your head and talk to your creditors.
I have f'd up money sober and drunk. Me and money have a disfunctional relationship. Then I realized I personally don't care about it much. I like what it represents and what it can do but to me it is a double edged sword so I have to focus on what I want my life to look like more.
Material things come and go. You can do everything right and something can come up and set you back no matter how much you have in the bank.
I have to focus on living a life of integrity and just follow my passion of being useful to myself and others. I focus on what I do have. And it's not much beings I have to start over too. I remind myself there are people in the hospital 2 blocks from my little apartment that would trade places with me in a minute if they could. I don't always remember that when I look at my credit score now but I try.
Congratulations on quitting drinking!!! No easy feat there!! You are doing great. The finance stuff will work its way out. Keep a roof over your head and talk to your creditors.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^^^To those points....I grew up with money, made a lot on my own in my first 12 years of a career, and then had very little for another 8-10 because of my choices, drinking,etc.
I have the best life I can imagine now- in what are "less" amounts but certainly enough. Certainly not how I'd have scripted it - but taking care of my emotional sobriety (and I talk about that alot because I was so sick and truly believe that my HP has planned out the fact that my recovery has to be essentially a full time job) and my marriage are what I am supposed to do for "work."
Keep going - everyone!!!
I have the best life I can imagine now- in what are "less" amounts but certainly enough. Certainly not how I'd have scripted it - but taking care of my emotional sobriety (and I talk about that alot because I was so sick and truly believe that my HP has planned out the fact that my recovery has to be essentially a full time job) and my marriage are what I am supposed to do for "work."
Keep going - everyone!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by mariposa
Thank you all for the replies. It definitely is like a “step”, facing the financial shambles addiction leaves us in, looking at it with a sober eye is terrifying and difficult. I’m no longer inspired to read about sober celebrities bouncing back, yeah I bet it’s a lot easier when loaded with cash and having the option to go to rehab in Malibu with organic fancy food, luxury gyms and well paid professionals. I’m uninspired by it. What about the regular person, midlife or later who bounced back and got a stable life?
I have always written out budgets and it all looks good, then I don’t know what happens, an extra expense, vet bill.... or bender ruins it all. I may just need to double what I think I actually need for weekly spending. I buy cheap as possible at the grocery, I haven’t had a meal out of my house in three weeks, I don’t go anywhere, no movies, nothing. I’m gym, work, home. It will get better, just impatient for the sober life to all start working miracles. First we have to look at the ruins of our lives before the long rebuilding process. Thank you all for responding.
I have always written out budgets and it all looks good, then I don’t know what happens, an extra expense, vet bill.... or bender ruins it all. I may just need to double what I think I actually need for weekly spending. I buy cheap as possible at the grocery, I haven’t had a meal out of my house in three weeks, I don’t go anywhere, no movies, nothing. I’m gym, work, home. It will get better, just impatient for the sober life to all start working miracles. First we have to look at the ruins of our lives before the long rebuilding process. Thank you all for responding.
Have you heard of Dave Ramsey the personal finance guru? Google his name, his advice may be helpful to you.
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