Seeking Accountability
 

Hello all, my name’s Resurgence, and it’s a relief to be back here.


Past

I used to lurk/tentatively post on this site around 2013/14, and since leaving my alcoholism has progressed (shock horror!)

I’ve binged on alcohol since the age of 14 having discovered the personality-injection it afforded me (I’m anxious and prone to depression); however, I’m 30 now and both the binges and recovery periods are elongating dramatically. Having reached my third decade, I’m painfully aware of the absolute sh*t storm my 20s were - I know I need to change from the ground up.


Present

I’m currently a postgraduate student (UK Masters), and was originally aiming to advance to PhD level, however, my binges have left me some way off that target, and in considerable debt.
I’m also being treated for anxiety and depression (SSRIs & online CBT), while my partner has to leave the country next month due to visa issues, which has sent me into a bit of a tailspin.

I am fully cognizant that alcoholism is a progressive disease, and I’ve tried numerous methods and plans in the past (SMART; addiction counsellor; consulting copious amounts of literature on the subject), but nothing has stuck.

I’m now 3 days sober, but I have been using cannabis for the anxiety.


Plan

With the above in mind, I’m seeking accountability and support, of which I’m assuming I’ll need a fair amount.

I'm also wondering if anyone can suggest some foods to eat when in recovery as I'm currently coming off a 4-day binge and I'm massively bloated.



Thank you all for reading; I'm looking forward to talking to you all! :thanks

Welcome back.

Nothing stuck because you probably weren't ready to give up drinking. Give them a try again. You would be surprised what acceptance of one's alcoholism and never drinking again can do to make the various methods more effective.

formal service positions in aa where i am accountable like coffee maker (meaning i am missed by people if i dont show up) is the #1 contributor to my intact sobriety date

:tyou

Acting like an irresponsible child isn't quite so charming as you get older. You progress from a carefree rebel to just some old drunk, who somehow lost his direction.

Glad you're here. I would drink a lot of water. That will help get the alcohol out of your system. I ate a lot of junk in the beginning - I don't really recommend that though. Clean eating (low carbs and no processed food) would really help you physically get through this.

I would say Good Luck - but it's really not about luck. I will say - you can do this. Keep getting up.

so true for me

or some old sober dry drunk

It sounds like you're ready to make this work for you. If you are truly motivated, you will do well. I'm glad that you're getting treatment for your anxiety/depression.

I agree with drinking lots of water to help the bloating in early recovery, and listen to what your body wants. Some kind of regular exercise program might help too. I started walking a lot and it helped in many ways.