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I messed up

Old 04-12-2019, 12:23 PM
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I messed up

I messed up I gave in. I went to a dinner on Wednesday and I caved from pressure. It ended up being a total **** show. I of course couldn’t maintain having just one. I had to party. I hate myself for doing this. Alcohol proved it’s the devil again...it doesn’t belong in my life. Day 1 today.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:35 PM
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We’ve all messed up at some point, well done on day 1
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Takeaction View Post
I messed up I gave in. I went to a dinner on Wednesday and I caved from pressure.
By pressure, do you mean pressure from someone else in your party to drink? Or pressure from your own addiction?
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Old 04-12-2019, 01:14 PM
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It was both honestly. I had stated prior to the dinner that I had stopped drinking to lose weight etc. I Hadn’t been around alcohol during the 25 days I was sober. I was peer pressured, and then I gave in....just one. I know now I really can’t do just one.
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Old 04-12-2019, 01:21 PM
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In early sobriety I had to avoid situations where I would be tempted to drink...tempted or pressured.

It's okay to say no to invites that are putting you at risk. Let me rephrase that. It's vital that you recognize dangerous settings and be strong enough to put your sobriety ahead of social interaction, or fear of what people might say if you decline.
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Old 04-12-2019, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
In early sobriety I had to avoid situations where I would be tempted to drink...tempted or pressured.


when i was new my sponsor forbid me from being anywhere near alcohol
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Old 04-12-2019, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Takeaction View Post
Alcohol proved it’s the devil again...it doesn’t belong in my life. Day 1 today.
4/12/19 is an awesome sobriety date!

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Old 04-12-2019, 01:37 PM
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Peer pressure only works if we allow it to.

beyond our teenage years, we all have the capacity to engage our frontal lobe and make our own choices.

in my experience ‘peer pressure’ was a convenient scapegoat for my own choices.

dust yourself off and grab onto sobriety again.

or don’t.... but either way I think it’s best to own our choices.

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Old 04-12-2019, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Takeaction View Post
It was both honestly. I had stated prior to the dinner that I had stopped drinking to lose weight etc.
I had used these little catch phrases to explain why I wasn't drinking too. They were a very vague explanations to those around me but mostly to myself. No commitment. Plenty of outs.

Wasn't until my response became " I don't drink.", that my sobriety became solid. I say it to myself each day and to anyone that asks. I don't drink. Complete sentence. The clock doesn't run out on it either.

Make the commitment. Do the work. No more excuses.

You can be happy sober. I am. Many others are too.
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Old 04-12-2019, 05:26 PM
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I'm glad you got right back.

Like others tho, I stayed away from alcohol for a while - I didn't stay at home with the curtains drawn but I didn't accept dinner or party invites or the like for a while. I needed to grow some 'sober muscles'.

I went out to cafes, picnics, walks etc...anything so long as it didn't include alcohol. I got usrd to a life, and a me, with out alcohol.

Eventually I felt I'd grown past the point where things like peer pressure could bring me down.

I decided I wanted and needed to be sober no matter what - and nothing or no one can change that now

D
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Old 04-12-2019, 05:34 PM
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Takeaction - The same thing happened to me in early sobriety. The experience made me more vigilant, more determined. It worked out - I never took another drink. I had proof that it was never going to be anything but a nightmare - I had crossed over the line from social to alcoholic drinking, and there was no going back. I'm glad you wanted to discuss what happened. You can do this.
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Old 04-13-2019, 04:34 PM
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Hows it going takeaction?

D
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:27 PM
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Hi Dee, it’s going okay. I’ve stayed away from alcohol. I’ve turned down hanging out with some friends tonight because I didn’t want to be put in that position. I feel really antisocial because I’m alone. I’ve really been tempted to just buy some wine, but I know I don’t want to drink.
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Old 04-13-2019, 08:12 PM
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I learned to be social without having to be around alcohol - movies, cafes, picnics, museums art galleries - your real friends will do those things with you sober

D
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Old 04-13-2019, 08:25 PM
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Glad you are back with us! I also messed up several times before I “got it”. At about 3 weeks sober I thought I would be ok attending an event at a brewery and not drink. Then when I got there I thought I would be ok with just one beer. Well one turned into 13 - and those good ideas at the time weren’t so good anymore.

You did exactly the right thing by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and coming here to SR!
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Old 04-15-2019, 02:05 PM
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Thinking of you, Takeaction - hoping you're doing ok.
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:11 PM
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Hi Hevyn, I am doing okay. I’ve stayed sober and I’m feeling good again. I realize that having drinks is just a bad decision. I did so well initially and I was feeling good about myself. I lasted 24 days and gave up so easily. I reflected on why I initially wanted to be sober, and alcohol isn’t worth the consequences. Thank you for checking on me ☺️ I’m staying strong!
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:20 PM
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Well done Takeaction for getting right back on the horse. Good for you. I think that alone is incredible. Keep on staying strong x
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:36 PM
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Our beloved CarolD used to say, you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. Not easy, but simple.
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Takeaction View Post
It was both honestly. I had stated prior to the dinner that I had stopped drinking to lose weight etc. I Hadn’t been around alcohol during the 25 days I was sober. I was peer pressured, and then I gave in....just one. I know now I really can’t do just one.
i feel ya, sober me is much healthier, etc, but not as cool to hang with. I KNOW i could make 5 new friends tonight after 5 brewskies, but I fear those same 5 people wouldn't like the sober version of me.
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