Dee74

None of us can make you go, but I hope you make it tomorrow Tetrax.

D

Tetrax

I'm gonna go. It's happening. Like right now. They must get this regularly though, right? Someone drunk at open? I mean I've just showered, it could be worse.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT TO WALK INTO, BUT I'M GONNA ANYWAY.

Dandelion12

Good for you Tetrax.

Sending positive vibes.

Let us know it goes!

DontRemember

I'd wager 8/10 people come there either drunk or coming down on a daily basis.

August252015

Getting up to get help and med care and alllll of it truly sucks at the beginning. All the "reasons" why like being a nocturnal drinker (me too, for sure especially "because of" restaurant hours) makes it harder but we gotta do it, Tetrax.

You've put up a lot of the excuses us alcoholics do - but you are on the brink of help. Go get it. Today. Or since we are on diff times, go to a meeting. Anything. Don't drink today, especially to get rid of the still drunk/hungover stuff. You KNOW that will make tomorrow just as bad- or worse.

We don't get infinite chances to get sober.

Finalround

Tetrax, please push yourself to do this. Just reading through this thread gives the sense of the downward spiral you are in. You can stop it. Only you.

Give yourself a chance.

MLD51

I'm reading this and really really hoping you went, Tetrax. Sending good vibes your way.

ThatWasTheOldMe

My hangovers slowly turned into withdrawals and drinking in secret to hold off the jumpiness over time.

Toward the end of the last binge, I was sneaking out to my car at work to have a nip. The come down sucked.

Tetrax

Hey all. I went, but it didn't exactly go well. Basically it took an hour and a half for my appraisal? I can't think of the word. Anyway (after many tears in the waiting room, as I played my emo indie rock through my headphones - the band Feeder I believe were the ones who got to me), after getting to it and going through the million or so questions I was deemed by the end of it to be physically dependent, and to be put into the process? Again, can't think of the phrase. Anyway, when the subject of detox drugs came up she tells me there's a 4-5 WEEK wait. I couldn't believe it, I had a bit of a meltdown. Told everyone in the waiting room not to bother and chucked my follow-up paperwork on the floor as I left. I was obviously angry but at least told the case worker? Again, don't know the word. But anyway I told her I knew it wasn't her fault, I was angry at the system. But basically it wasn't pretty.

I regret my behaviour of course, but it had been a long, drunken day. I guess I had spent the wait assuming a prescription would be coming that ultimately didn't.

Perhaps I'm in the system now, and there might still be a way forward there, but also perhaps I will find it hard to show my face in there ever again.

biminiblue

I'm glad you went. It's a start, yeah? If you're serious, you'll find a way.

In the meantime while you're waiting for an appointment, why don't you go to AA meetings or find some other way to quit? I don't know how the medical system in the UK works but I do know there are many UKers here on this site who quit drinking.

I didn't do a medical detox. I tapered down from daily drinking. I think there's always a way. People in UK AA meetings would be a great resource for you, they would know the ins and outs of the NHS.

Come on over to the Weekender thread, there are several UK sober people in the thread. I don't know if any of them did medical detox, but there are other ways to quit drinking. Go over there and ask them!

We'll leave a light on for ya.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...il-2019-a.html (‘Staying Sober this weekend together’-Weekender Thread 12 - 15 April 2019)

Dee74

Sorry Tetrax - I thought you knew you'd probably have to wait - that's the way it works for everyone in the UK it seems. Hopefully the wait won't be too long.

I agree with Bim tho - you've stopped before, you can stop again. Drinking at the system or drinking while you're waiting for them to act doesn't seem that wise or effective to me?

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

Tetrax,

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but when you get through the withdrawal, your brain chemistry will come to a new equilibrium without the interference of alcohol. What you feel when you go through withdrawal is basically your central nervous system's best attempt to keep you functioning while you're under the influence. When you come down, all of the chemicals it had been releasing to maintain your basic functions are still there, so you feel the opposite of the calm relaxation that alcohol brings. The exact, polar opposite. It makes you jumpy and panicky and feel like you're dying.

If it gets BAD, you should go to the emergency room and say you're afraid you'll have a seizure and tell them you're in withdrawal. But if you get through it, you get to feel normal again. I'm reminding you of this because I remember what it was like to be withdrawing just 9-10 days ago. I was scared. I thought it would never end. But guess what? It's been 10 days since my last drink and I've been functional for 8 of them. You'll get through it, my friend. It might suck for a couple of days, but you'll get through it.

Tetrax

Thanks ThatWas, I know what you're saying. But I do believe the UK healthcare system doesn't take addiction seriously. If a doctor would just prescribe me some benzos for a night rather than waiting 4-5 weeks to do so then that should be that, right? I appreciate both our free heathcare and knowing that benzos themselves are highly addictive, but after this morning's experience, I feel like a man on a mission now. I mean I feel it's gotta be time for someone or other to get political about addiction in the UK. Instead of just hearing about bloody Brexit all the time...

peaceandfreedom

hey.. thought I'd weigh in. It's not as simple as getting prescribed Benzos for a night. If you're heavily dependent on alcohol you will need a schedule of benzos (monitored too) to detox. It's a journey youd be embarking on, whatever way you quit. And yes, if you werent monitored and did get addicted to benzos the withdrawals off these can be nasty.

I think you should confirm a date for your detox and work whatever sobriety program you can alongside. A few weeks is nothing next to waking up one day and like Dee said..you have lost a decade/s.

Tetrax

OK this point is fair, I mean it certainly helps me understand the system more, though I wager that I would be more likely to successfully detox with just one night of benzos then know I would be if I tried doing it cold turkey.

But - though you have helped me see what happened more clearly - I still believe the system itself is flawed. Because, if I understand correctly, the benzo taper thing will be a monitored process, but for an alcoholic on the verge of all of the bad outcomes that we know can happen, how can they possibly ask the patient to wait 4-5 weeks?

I also see now I was naive - especially as knowing about waiting lists for counselling - I guess perhaps I should try A&E. I just thought somewhere like that would waste so many resources. Because all I feel I need is one night of sleep without vodka. And I can't do it alone. Or without some kind of downer.

I literally feel that is all I really need.

RedAndy

Wish you well Tetrax, forget about any politics / systems etc - they are not your fight right now.

The only thing that matters to you right now is you and getting sober, it would be really helpful to you if you’re able to find an A.A. meeting today, being in a city there’ll be plenty around and you’ll be made most welcome.

Tetrax

You are very right my man. Hopefully tomorrow evening I might be able. In all honesty what tends to happen lately I am available in the evenings, but only if I've had some vodka. I would feel like a fraud cos I've only ever been to them stone cold.

Dee74

From this outsiders POV Alcoholism is a huge problem in the UK and the system is ill equipped to deal with the incredible and constant demand upon its resources.

Thats not your fault and it's not a slight against you personally or your situation - but Andys right - the system and its flaws are not what you need to be concentrating on right now.

Getting sober is.

D

RedAndy

No one will judge or see you as a fraud, a desire to stop drinking is the only requirement

margbella

Tetrax, I'm from UK too. When they do start you on a home detox, they don't hand over the benzos and that's it. They have a nurse come in to see you for 5 days to breathalyse you and monitor your vitals and taper you off them
Even if you went to A&E in withdrawal, they wouldn't give you benzos if your BAC was above the drink drive limit (which is not very much). I know this from sad experience.
I even went to A&E once and they gave me one dose of chlozid something, told me it short acting, so to drink again in a few hours when the effects wore off..then kicked me out!

I stopped drinking cold turkey. It's the only way to do it without waiting weeks/months in the UK. A&E are always there if you got into real trouble and had a siezure or something.
Once you are in the drinking hole there's no getting our without some degree of suffering. Either by waiting and drinking and waiting for treatment, or by tapering (if you can, I couldn't) or by just taking your chances and going cold turkey. All the best to you