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Old 04-11-2019, 09:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Why the constant negative self talk


As my header says so many of us are making it even harder to quit with all the negative self talk.
I am new just over 5 months sober and I used to be just like that. I was down in the dumps and the world was such a bad place and it was all so depressing, because I couldn't drink anymore.
Well why don't we turn it around and look at the positives instead. Put a positive spin to it. Shift the negative self talk to all the positives we get to experience and eventually gain going sober. It's seems very much like the glass half full or empty scenario question.
If you are not prepared to let go and open up to the endless new possibilities sobriety gives then I think you are still white knuckling it and destined to fail.
Its similar to all the people getting to day 3 and 4 then drinking and starting Day 1 all over again and then rinse and repeat. Eventually your sub conscious will think sobriety is just too hard, unachievable and not worth it. Push through and you will see that it is possible and that sobriety really is worth it. The hardest part is going sober not staying sober, for me anyway.
I read somewhere that around day 100 you can see it and around 6 months you are feeling it, you are living it. I think this rings true. For me the mind shift started around 3 months. Now I am living it, enjoying the hard work and experiencing the new life I so desperately wanted. After decades of drinking I am not going to change in just 5 months I know. I am learning to live sober every day. I am looking forward to experiencing all the "firsts" in my first year of sobriety. I am excited, not morbid about going sober. Life is 100% better now. We are all worth it and we deserve a better life than the active addicted life we all used to live. Don't you think?
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Old 04-11-2019, 09:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I was like that because the idea that I could be happy was a completely foreign concept to me.

When I started my sobriety after two failed attempts my goal was simply to live a "normal" life without having to white knuckle my way through it. If I could eliminate or control my cravings and remain abstinent I would have been fine going through life on cruise control. Happy? Pssh that was for other people, not for me.

Instead I was pleasantly surprised to find out that by working on myself and making peace with my past I found the happiness that had eluded me my entire life.

I feel compassion when I read the negative posts because the people starting their journeys probably aren't aware happiness can be theirs as well. So I share my experiences, as do others, to show that there is a better way to live.
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Old 04-11-2019, 10:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I totally feel compassion to everybody as well. I just think that so many want an instant fix. We live in a society where everything is possible with a click of a button. I think we need to be more resilient and persevere and give it time. I was drinking and drugging for 30 years. I dont expect to be a changed person in a week. Its commitment, hard work and daily hard work on my recovery. This is also my 3d attempt. What I am trying to say is that I am looking forward to the new in the future and dont dwell and romanticise on the “fun” alcohol gave me in the past. It never gave me anything but misery and self destruction. My top priorities today are, my sobriety, mindfulness and self care. I am not the same person any longer nor do I want to be. None of us want to be, thats why we are all here.
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Old 04-11-2019, 12:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
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My negative self-talk was on overdrive at the beginning. I hated myself, the things I had done, the fact that I was an alcoholic, the fact I could never safely drink again, etc. etc. But I was working a program and saw people farther along in AA gaining the lives they had always hoped for, and the kind of life I wanted. Slowly, the negative self talk gave way to feeling much better about almost every aspect of myself and my life than I ever had before.

I was kind of like WeThinkNot at the beginning - I really couldn't imagine a "happy" life and I was going to be content with just not burning down what little bit of a life I still had left. That was going to be a relief and just fine by me. Imagine my surprise when I actually did start to feel happy. It's not an all day every day kind of elation or anything, but I'm content, at peace and I like my life just fine. Moments of pure joy happen now and then, and that sure beats the pile of poop my life was before. It's all a matter of perspective.
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Old 04-11-2019, 04:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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My negative self talk started a long time before I took my first drink and last long after my last drink

I'm really pleased for anyone who can stop drinking and in short measure be totally positive and upbeat in recovery.

I see it a lot and it's really infectious and energising - but that wasn't me, not until I'd done a little work on myself....

My default was negative self talk.
I had decades of self hatred and other stuff to unpack

so yeah I try to remember that and the fact that the negative self talk might be so ingrained that conscious though won't touch it much for awhile.

(Happily it didn't impede my ability my decision and my choice not to drink. That was a set in stone commitment no matter what)

But we gotta keep trying, I got there in the end,

Here are some ideas that helped me:


Negative self talk

Thought Stopping: A Technique to Quiet the Negative Voice in Your Head
Challenging negative thinking | ReachOut.com Australia
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/negat...tive_n_3009832

from:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...f-respite.html (Relief and Respite)


D
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Old 04-12-2019, 02:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I really needed this thread today sydneyman. I just celebrated 100 days yesterday which I never thought would even be possible. I re-read the entries that I've kept almost daily since quitting. After day 10, the struggle from the start was quieting the negative voices in my head. That is still the struggle for me. But drinking only gave those voices fuel for getting even louder. I really understand the phrase that alcoholism is a symptom now.

Thanks for this post!
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