advice needed with work
I think as alcoholics we are always looking for that instant gratification.
The buzz from the drink
The excitement of buying something new
The satisfaction of eating a chocolate bar
The natural high of finding the perfect mate
The feeling of walking into a place where everyone knows your name (AKA...Cheers sitcom show)
But in recovery we must learn that true happiness comes from within. We don't find it in a shopping cart, a pound of chocolate, a partner, or a bottle. We must soul search to find our true selves, and then we can be truly happy. Give yourself some time, find a safe, comfortable job that will pay the bills, learn more about yourself and watch the magic happen. Don't hurry to find the instant gratification in life, that didn't serve you before, and it will not benefit you now.
The buzz from the drink
The excitement of buying something new
The satisfaction of eating a chocolate bar
The natural high of finding the perfect mate
The feeling of walking into a place where everyone knows your name (AKA...Cheers sitcom show)
But in recovery we must learn that true happiness comes from within. We don't find it in a shopping cart, a pound of chocolate, a partner, or a bottle. We must soul search to find our true selves, and then we can be truly happy. Give yourself some time, find a safe, comfortable job that will pay the bills, learn more about yourself and watch the magic happen. Don't hurry to find the instant gratification in life, that didn't serve you before, and it will not benefit you now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 100
the last 10 years i was able to work i worked carpentry-- framing houses,roofing,siding,windows, remods,etc.
some days straight up sucked. some jobs just straight up sucked. looking at it overall,though, i loved what i did.
i didnt go to work to have fun- i went to work to make money. fun was had outside of work.
find an occupation you enjoy,NOT one thats fun.
are you honestly readyt0change?
some days straight up sucked. some jobs just straight up sucked. looking at it overall,though, i loved what i did.
i didnt go to work to have fun- i went to work to make money. fun was had outside of work.
find an occupation you enjoy,NOT one thats fun.
are you honestly readyt0change?
I will check out the employment center today.
Please stay away from the cruise ship employment if you want to have any hope of staying sober.
Staff on a cruise ship are stuck for weeks and it is described as worse than a frat house, with a separate bar for staff at hugely reduced rates (I have heard the stories).
If you were having to choose between a bar and a cruise ship, you would be safer in a bar (also not a good idea imo)
As someone mentioned, you could be a server in a restaurant and still make good money.
Staff on a cruise ship are stuck for weeks and it is described as worse than a frat house, with a separate bar for staff at hugely reduced rates (I have heard the stories).
If you were having to choose between a bar and a cruise ship, you would be safer in a bar (also not a good idea imo)
As someone mentioned, you could be a server in a restaurant and still make good money.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 83
Hi Ready!
I was a server/bartender for years and really realized I needed to work on my sobriety around age 26 (although my drinking had been problematic in various ways for the better part of a decade before that). At the time, I was drinking most nights, getting blackout drunk too often, and it felt normal because of the people I surrounded myself with, both at work and outside of work. The culture of most restaurants, if not all, is to drink. If not at your place of employment, then somewhere nearby post-shift. Does everyone drink? No, but as a problem drinker, you'll think everyone does, because you'll gravitate towards them.
I loved working in restaurants, for the most part, or at least I did/thought I did at the time. Like you, I found it exciting and fun, but like alcohol, I only remember the good days if I'm not being realistic with myself. There are a number of things that make restaurants hard places to work in when you are trying to work on your recovery:
- the culture - as I said, it will seem like everyone drinks and drugs. A lot. And likely, that'll be true enough.
- the hours - they are rough. Part of the drinking culture comes from not getting out of work early enough to do anything else but party.
- the inconsistent schedule - trying to plan anything in your life? Good luck getting on a routine. Most restaurants I worked at would never guarantee set hours and were likely to switch up your shifts every week. Maybe that's not the case here, but I find routine incredibly important for recovery and that is hard to establish at a restaurant
- the stress - for all the "fun" and "excitement" that comes with working in a fast-paced restaurant, it's also very stressful. It's very physically and mentally/emotionally taxing at times (as a barback you've got the potential to be yelled at by the bartender, servers, managers, chefs, and dishwashers when you're not doing your job to their liking. As a server or bartender, you can throw customers speaking poorly to you in there, as well), potentially leaving you drained at the end of a shift, and being drained means self-control is harder to implement.
- the pay isn't THAT good - it seems like it is now, because it IS quick cash for a lot of people, but in the long run, finding a healthier job where you can develop more transferable skills can turn into better pay down the line.
I get the allure on all fronts. I really do. If you ever want to talk about how tough it can be to be sober at a restaurant, message me. I did it on and off, but never kept up with it. I will say that when I left my restaurant gig for a regular hours office job, my mental health improved significantly. I still did and still do struggle with alcohol (90+ days sober now), but it was far, far easier to commit to my recovery when I wasn't surrounded by that culture and when I had set hours, regular lunch breaks, those little things that can make a big difference in our self care. Not saying that working in a restaurant is inherently an unhealthy job, but for most people it is.
And as the person above said, avoid cruise ships like the plague. That will be way worse and you'll have nowhere to go. I've heard the same stories.
I was a server/bartender for years and really realized I needed to work on my sobriety around age 26 (although my drinking had been problematic in various ways for the better part of a decade before that). At the time, I was drinking most nights, getting blackout drunk too often, and it felt normal because of the people I surrounded myself with, both at work and outside of work. The culture of most restaurants, if not all, is to drink. If not at your place of employment, then somewhere nearby post-shift. Does everyone drink? No, but as a problem drinker, you'll think everyone does, because you'll gravitate towards them.
I loved working in restaurants, for the most part, or at least I did/thought I did at the time. Like you, I found it exciting and fun, but like alcohol, I only remember the good days if I'm not being realistic with myself. There are a number of things that make restaurants hard places to work in when you are trying to work on your recovery:
- the culture - as I said, it will seem like everyone drinks and drugs. A lot. And likely, that'll be true enough.
- the hours - they are rough. Part of the drinking culture comes from not getting out of work early enough to do anything else but party.
- the inconsistent schedule - trying to plan anything in your life? Good luck getting on a routine. Most restaurants I worked at would never guarantee set hours and were likely to switch up your shifts every week. Maybe that's not the case here, but I find routine incredibly important for recovery and that is hard to establish at a restaurant
- the stress - for all the "fun" and "excitement" that comes with working in a fast-paced restaurant, it's also very stressful. It's very physically and mentally/emotionally taxing at times (as a barback you've got the potential to be yelled at by the bartender, servers, managers, chefs, and dishwashers when you're not doing your job to their liking. As a server or bartender, you can throw customers speaking poorly to you in there, as well), potentially leaving you drained at the end of a shift, and being drained means self-control is harder to implement.
- the pay isn't THAT good - it seems like it is now, because it IS quick cash for a lot of people, but in the long run, finding a healthier job where you can develop more transferable skills can turn into better pay down the line.
I get the allure on all fronts. I really do. If you ever want to talk about how tough it can be to be sober at a restaurant, message me. I did it on and off, but never kept up with it. I will say that when I left my restaurant gig for a regular hours office job, my mental health improved significantly. I still did and still do struggle with alcohol (90+ days sober now), but it was far, far easier to commit to my recovery when I wasn't surrounded by that culture and when I had set hours, regular lunch breaks, those little things that can make a big difference in our self care. Not saying that working in a restaurant is inherently an unhealthy job, but for most people it is.
And as the person above said, avoid cruise ships like the plague. That will be way worse and you'll have nowhere to go. I've heard the same stories.
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