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-   -   Lucy79's Accountability Thread (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/437714-lucy79s-accountability-thread.html)

Lucy79 04-10-2019 06:37 PM

Lucy79's Accountability Thread
 
Hello all!

I've decided to start my own accountability thread as I think it will be good or me to track my feelings and thoughts everyday. I'm on day 3 today. I nearly had a week and then drank over the weekend after a great day. Just proving that I will find any reason to drink. Feeling good except for insomnia an the extreme fatigue but I know that comes with beginning sobriety. Had a good night tonight shopping with my oldest daughter for a prom dress. SO grateful it went good. We had quite the horrific homecoming dress experience so this was so pleasant to find a beautiful dress and have a nice evening together.

I've been doing online meetings in the morning. Not sharing yet, but enjoying everyone else's shares. I also have been reading some sobriety material and books I ordered. Going to start the Naked Mind tonight. Laid out plans for tomorrow to keep me busy. Glad to be here and posting and reading everyone posts!

Dee74 04-10-2019 07:20 PM

Sounds like a good start Lucy :)

D

kinzoku 04-10-2019 07:53 PM

Good for you!

Day 3 is fantastic :)

Tinkerbeau 04-10-2019 10:07 PM

Well done lucy

sweetichick 04-11-2019 01:53 AM

I am so glad you decided to start an accountability thread. Mine is really helping me so far.

Lucy79 04-11-2019 12:49 PM

Thanks everyone! Day 4 today. Feeling guilty because I took a four hour nap during the afternoon. I haven't been sleeping well. I know I needed it, but I have so much to do around here. We leave for a small overnight trip tomorrow evening for a competition for two of my younger girls. Then rushing back Saturday so I can help my daughter get ready for prom. So I am really looking forward to the weekend. I will NOT drink. The weekends are always the hardest for me, but I pretty much have planned out almost every minute in my notepad. Has anyone else felt like they just wanted to get your whole life together in a few days? Trying not to be frustrated with myself. It took me years to get here but it's like I've neglected so many aspects o my life I'm trying to run full speed ahead. I know from the past, this has always burned me out and led me back to drinking. So I m really tying to practice self care and patience with myself.

Midwest1981 04-11-2019 12:56 PM

Lucy- yes...it is common to try and do to much early in recovery and get frustrated. You have to remember it’s a marathon not a sprint. ;)

Great job on the nap and self care. It is okay to put your needs first. You are going to have to for awhile. Good job on day 4. :c011:

sweetichick 04-11-2019 02:57 PM

Your doing fantastic Lucy. Just don't wear your self out. I know how tiring children are. I am one day behind you.

Dee74 04-11-2019 03:57 PM

I think everyone has that urge to get their life together in a day. It can;t be done. Try and relax an focus on not drinking for now - that really is enough in the first few weeks Lucy :)

D

Lucy79 04-11-2019 07:34 PM

Thanks everyone! Day 4 and 5 are for some reason the worst for me (today is day 4). Where the fatigue really hits me in the face and when I'm this tired I start to feel anxiety and that's usually when I reach or the bottle. But I am NOT doing that. I finished up shopping with my daughter tonight. Came home and ate and now will make some tea and lie down. Hoping for some sleep and relief from my anxiety. I just know I have to keep moving forward to feel better.

sweetichick 04-12-2019 04:08 PM

How are you today my sober buddy..?? Hope you managed to get more sleep and relief from anxiety. Is it Friday night there? I’m starting to feel better now. Not so anxious. I fell down the steps to the car this morning but the car broke my fall and I fell onto the bonnet. That was lucky. You have a big weekend planned. It should help with the cravings. Good luck with it all.

Dee74 04-12-2019 05:13 PM

I'm glad you're ok sweetichick - Hope you are too Lucy :)

D

Lucy79 04-12-2019 07:05 PM

Oh my Sweeti!! I’m so glad you’re ok! Imagine if you had been drinking, could have been a lot worse. I fell drinking one time and broke my ankle. Had to be out of work for over 6 months and it still never healed correctly. And as soon as I was able to get around on my own I started drinking again.

Im doing good tonight. We checked into our hotel a little while ago and the girls are swimming. I didn’t sleep so good again last night but took a short nap in the afternoon. Hoping for some sleep tonight maybe. I’m super exhausted. Staying positive I will make it through the weekend without drinking!! I have the entire weekend planned out almost to the minute. Hahaha!! Hope you guys are doing well! I will check in tomorrow!

TacoDude 04-12-2019 07:23 PM

Congrats on day 5, Lucy! Glad you are keeping busy and naps are great!

sweetichick 04-17-2019 01:24 AM

How are you going Lucy.

Lucy79 04-17-2019 02:53 PM


Originally Posted by sweetichick (Post 7166394)
How are you going Lucy.

Well, I drank over the weekend and the other night. I posted a separate thread about it. Felt so shameful. I'm dusting myself off today and changing the plan. Looking in to going to some face to face meetings even though I haven't been in years and never really was keen to them, but I never tried hard enough to find a group I like. There are a few all women meetings around here. I need to be around other people striving for what I am wanting. I love the support I get here online but I need more if I'm going to beat this. Just to be able to call or text someone who understands would be such a blessing for me right now. I have a friend who was going to start an outpatient program. Never in a million years did I think she would give up drinking. But I texted her because we have talked about maybe going to a meeting together and she has 10 days today! I'm so proud of her and hoping I can have a real life sober buddy too, as well as my sober buddies online. Thanks or checking on me! How are you doing, Sweeti?

Lucy79 04-18-2019 05:05 PM

2 days and 10 hours since my last drink. Feeling the waves of anxiety right now. I hate this. At the store getting food for Easter dinner and basically had to run through and get out as fast as I could. Don’t worry, no alcohol was purchased. Sitting in the car drinking a bottled water right now trying to catch my breath. Found an old journal today from almost 7 years ago where I was writing the same thing. The anxiety, the feeling awful, the wanting to quit. I can’t belive I’ve let myself drink for this long. I cannot continue this destructive path. More determined then ever. Going to start driving in a minute. Empty my groceries, make a dessert as planned with my kids for our Easter dinner and then shower, make some tea and read. I’m literally planning every second, although that really didn’t help me this weekend. Reading my old journal has really opened my eyes to the progression and of this disease.

sweetichick 04-18-2019 09:14 PM

Good on you Lucy. You have every moment planned which is a great start. Don't end up like me. I am back on day one. Just stay sober however you feel.

Lucy79 04-19-2019 04:45 AM


Originally Posted by sweetichick (Post 7167641)
Good on you Lucy. You have every moment planned which is a great start. Don't end up like me. I am back on day one. Just stay sober however you feel.

I'm only a couple days ahead. We can do this! I've been reading A LOT on here and my recovery books that I've had for quite some time. Cracked open my Big Book last night. After the kids get to school I have some podcasts I'm going to listen too. Seeing a nap in my future as I only got one hour of sleep last night. Hope you are doing well today Sweeti. Let's not ever feel this bad again :emb

sweetichick 04-22-2019 09:22 PM

How are you today Lucy? Hope you got through Easter. Your still my sober buddy


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