Trying to get sober in secret
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 17
Lou, it was all going so well then the bank holiday hit me. I drank yesterday so I'm back to day 1. I mean it wasn't the quantity I used to put away but I regret it. I didn't even enjoy it. Oh well back to it. Hope you are doing ok and on day 18 x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 260
I feel like I have a similar problem. I've given up several times in the past (the clue is in my join date), and on the last occasion I made quite a song and dance about it, announcing it to my friends and family, having heart-to-hearts, the whole show. Only to go back to the booze.
I'm now at the stage -- yet a-bloody-gain -- where I feel like I've lost control of my drinking. My wife is worried (but oblivious to the fact that I'm drinking at least double what she thinks I am), and each day, when I wake up hating myself, I'm tortured by the thought that while I might have 'got away with it' this time, real life-changing stuff lurks just around the corner. To paraphrase Game of Thrones: 'danger is coming'.
But I can't officially give up. I just can't. Nobody would take me seriously, and quite rightly so. So I've got to do it guerrilla stylee: I'm driving. I'm on a diet. It disrupts my sleep and I'm too busy for that right now. I'll reach for my bag of excuses like Roger the Dodger with his book of dodges. Meanwhile, a couple of people I know have given up by having, like, a dry January, or a doctor-recommended period on the wagon, and then simply continuing because they liked the fact that they felt healthier and had lost weight. That's maybe an option, too.
Either way, whatever I decide to do, I need to get some drink-free days under my belt. So here's to day one.
I'm now at the stage -- yet a-bloody-gain -- where I feel like I've lost control of my drinking. My wife is worried (but oblivious to the fact that I'm drinking at least double what she thinks I am), and each day, when I wake up hating myself, I'm tortured by the thought that while I might have 'got away with it' this time, real life-changing stuff lurks just around the corner. To paraphrase Game of Thrones: 'danger is coming'.
But I can't officially give up. I just can't. Nobody would take me seriously, and quite rightly so. So I've got to do it guerrilla stylee: I'm driving. I'm on a diet. It disrupts my sleep and I'm too busy for that right now. I'll reach for my bag of excuses like Roger the Dodger with his book of dodges. Meanwhile, a couple of people I know have given up by having, like, a dry January, or a doctor-recommended period on the wagon, and then simply continuing because they liked the fact that they felt healthier and had lost weight. That's maybe an option, too.
Either way, whatever I decide to do, I need to get some drink-free days under my belt. So here's to day one.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome back Marksthespot.
W ell I'm sure people rolled their eyes at me and maybe some even laughed behind my back when I said I quit but I was past the point of caring...I wanted to save my life and in that fear I didn't want any bolt holes where I could hide if I changed my mind in a few weeks time.
I don't think I see many people from that social circle 12 years on anyway.
We all have to do what we gotta - just keep in mind that what other people think is not more important than you quitting.
Thats gotta be the priority, unspoken or not
D
W ell I'm sure people rolled their eyes at me and maybe some even laughed behind my back when I said I quit but I was past the point of caring...I wanted to save my life and in that fear I didn't want any bolt holes where I could hide if I changed my mind in a few weeks time.
I don't think I see many people from that social circle 12 years on anyway.
We all have to do what we gotta - just keep in mind that what other people think is not more important than you quitting.
Thats gotta be the priority, unspoken or not
D
Last edited by Dee74; 04-23-2019 at 03:50 AM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 1
Drinking at work
I am also currently in a job where lunch time involves about 3 double vodka drinks with my boss. It started a few years ago and I feel like I have to hide it as well from my loved ones. It is a snowballing effect for me as once when I start, I don't stop. I'm currently on day 2 of nothing to drink except a bunch of water. I appreciate the times when my bosses are out of town because it makes it easier for me to get on another routine. Some days the drinks don't stop at two. I start to get tired at 4:00 and need a pick me up. My boss usually goes out to either get a pint or already has a to go cup of vodka. I make it home and since I don't want my husband to know that I've been drinking, I've already had a DUI by the way, I grab a beer to cover the vodka smell before I get into the house. Weekends are tough. A lot of times, before I had a during the week problem, my husband and I would start with beer around 10 AM just to get motivated to do stuff around the house and go to the beach. I've cut way back on that but have introduced shots of fireball for my afternoon snack. Another problem as that when I do drink, I tend to overeat tremendously. In the last year I have gained 20 lbs and don't recognize myself anymore. I try to eat healthy most of the time but its my snowball effect for just one drink. Day 2 has been easy since I don't have my boss here and I just go home and immediately get on the treadmill. By the time I know it, its 7 o'clock and its relaxing TV time. Sorry for the rambling, just had to get that off my chest. Thank you for reading and to each one of you, I can relate. 
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