Polaroid

... in acute withdrawals. Tension in the upper back, but most of all the shoulders. They are literally up to my ears.

When the nurses ask me, when I'm shaking and feeling this discomfort feeling like a bullet has hit me,

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

I want to respond, "yes, give me a shoulder massage"... I think that is inappropriate though, and I'm not sure, but I don't think they do that.

It's a result of anxiety (general and social), which I've had since my early teens. Alcohol doesn't help it. I thought it did, it wasn't before my early 20s I actually really got drunk, and I fell in love with it (alcohol) as it relieved my anxiety.

Now, at 35 it has just escalated. It relieves the anxiety for maybe for a couple of hours, but that's it - It just makes it worse in the long run.

Now, I'm not stupid (I think), but I'm not sure how this is going to end.

I apparently have a triple diagnosis (I can read everything that has been written in my journal online), addiction to alcohol, anxiolitycs/hypnotics (benzos), and Schizoid. Now, I agree with the first to, but NOT the schizoid part. Reading the signs/symptoms of being Schizoid, it is totally not me. I may appear that way because of my anxiety. Eg. I want to be social, but it's hard, considering the anxiety.

This week I'm going to detox, no matter what how horrible it's gonna be. I am desperate...

... to get sober.

doggonecarl

Supervised, I hope.

Anna

Try ice and heat, alternately, for your shoulders and back. It really helps.

Are you in a detox center or on your own?

ThatWasTheOldMe

We can't give medical advice here, and I wouldn't anyway because I'm not a doctor.

That being said, alcohol withdrawal tends to be person-specific and can become rapidly dangerous. Please detox under supervision.

Polaroid

Under supervision, inpatient at a hospital.

Gosh... I hate it... most likely I will go in two or three days from now. I've called them and they have an available private room on Wed/Thu. (I hate semi-private rooms, as this will be hell...)

Hell... but better in the long run...

Thanks for the tips, Anna.

MantaLady

At the rehab I went to we had 3 Thai full body massages a week as part of the programme. It’s a great way to release muscle tension and works on all the stress points in the body. That and meditation were my saviour in the first couple of months of sobriety xx

ThatWasTheOldMe

This is beautiful to read, Polaroid. You're worth it and you're one tough cookie for getting help.

Tinkerbeau

Hi im back on day one and have the same tension in back and shoulders along with spliting headache. It will pass as days go on, we just need to never come back to day 1

ScottFromWI

I would suggest that you make a firm reservation and arrange to go. You said you were going "on thursday" a couple weeks ago but I'm guessing you didn't? Don't mess around if you know what you need to do - just call and get there.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7151517 (Super Scared - About to Detox)

Polaroid

I know. I chickened out. I promise you I won't this time though, even though the mental pain during withdrawal is .... gosh, I can't even describe how awful it is.

I should have learned from a previous thread (Let go of my "precious" wine) I made, right after a detox.

Why do I keep relapsing... I have tapered, but, well... I've tried to moderate - I've learned it is impossible for me.

Total abstinence is the key, even though I have to through several months of PAWS....

Thanks for responding, Scott, and everyone else.

abgator

Wow, that's nice. I detox'd on my own. My parents stayed at my house for the first 2 nights, so I guess not entirely alone. I had considered rehab, but the cost...I didn't want to bother. But I did have to go get a deep tissue as soon as I was able to leave the house after the 3 times I've detox'd.

tomsteve

after detox,then what? gonna keep doing what youve been doing? whats your plan for recovery?

Juicer

Good job, and envious of your medical system in the EU. A 2-3 night stay here in the states would cost well over 10K.

Dee74

Wishing you well Polaroid

D