Am I Worthless
At first, it's great to count the days, every day I don't drink is a success enough for me. But if I eventually do relapse for the #5446 time after a while, I'll keep going (probably give up counting again) because if I'd start at Day 1 every time, at that pace, I could die at 103 years old having done weeks/months/years sober but be at day 57 by that logic.
I definitely do keep track again of the days too after a prolonged relapse period and force myself at this point to take the meds until the cravings subside over time. You may not need them, but to me it was like a last resort cuz I couldn't trust myself anymore swearing off alcohol for the millionth time and caving in eventually.
I did also manage to moderate it for about a month, only past a certain time, only this much. I thought I had it down now, until over time, it turned into a full fledged collapse. Again.
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