Am I Worthless
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Awesome, keep going! I'm on day 6 and am determined to stay on track.
I have SMART recovery programs on Thursdays. Tbh, I don't enjoy them that much meaning that it is not really a means of support to me (it doesn't have an affect on me much), it has to come from within, but I keep going because my doctor wants me to and she's helped me a lot through withdrawals and arranging personal therapy sessions. Now I got new anti craving meds too, I'll start probably on Monday when I'm sure to be totally over the detox period, even though I feel better by the day, and like myself again today.
I have SMART recovery programs on Thursdays. Tbh, I don't enjoy them that much meaning that it is not really a means of support to me (it doesn't have an affect on me much), it has to come from within, but I keep going because my doctor wants me to and she's helped me a lot through withdrawals and arranging personal therapy sessions. Now I got new anti craving meds too, I'll start probably on Monday when I'm sure to be totally over the detox period, even though I feel better by the day, and like myself again today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Keep at it, great job!
I can relate to all you stated; sending inappropriate emails to ex bosses to posting embarrassing s*** on social media and lately going to a group interview where I had little choice than either keep drinking or go in there in the grasps of withdrawal. I chose the lesser evil at the time (had to drink to prevent the tremors, sweats, low functioning etc.) I knew I had what it took, but I didn't make the cut.
I asked for sincere feedback (dreading they could tell I had been drinking or smelled it - even after rinsing with mouth wash and chewing excel gum right before). But it wasn't it. They told me that I talked over the others, they knew I had the qualifications but also wanted to know if the others "knew their s*** too" (something I would've had more control over sober), and also wrong was mentioning that I would not contact management asap if something got out of hand, but instead I'd try to resolve it myself first (I mean, I think that's a good thing, right? and I have the skills), but they will keep my resume as they're expanding (yes, they had no idea I had been drinking because at this point, I don't look or act drunk, but the smell could've betrayed me). I thanked them , appreciated the constructive feedback and acknowledged I would work on the points, especially in regards to interrupting others and over taking the "group" interview, and would respect the policies they had in place.
Although, I have moved on and have another interview in the next couple of weeks. But the real bummer is that this former place is literally a 10 minute walk from my place (save time and money on travel), while the next opportunity is less than 30 minutes away, I'd have to go through the hustle and bustle of commuter hell subway to get there.
I did mention to the former one's that I would still be open to them, if they would be. Thing is, I cannot sit around and wait 6 months for perhaps next time.
I can relate to all you stated; sending inappropriate emails to ex bosses to posting embarrassing s*** on social media and lately going to a group interview where I had little choice than either keep drinking or go in there in the grasps of withdrawal. I chose the lesser evil at the time (had to drink to prevent the tremors, sweats, low functioning etc.) I knew I had what it took, but I didn't make the cut.
I asked for sincere feedback (dreading they could tell I had been drinking or smelled it - even after rinsing with mouth wash and chewing excel gum right before). But it wasn't it. They told me that I talked over the others, they knew I had the qualifications but also wanted to know if the others "knew their s*** too" (something I would've had more control over sober), and also wrong was mentioning that I would not contact management asap if something got out of hand, but instead I'd try to resolve it myself first (I mean, I think that's a good thing, right? and I have the skills), but they will keep my resume as they're expanding (yes, they had no idea I had been drinking because at this point, I don't look or act drunk, but the smell could've betrayed me). I thanked them , appreciated the constructive feedback and acknowledged I would work on the points, especially in regards to interrupting others and over taking the "group" interview, and would respect the policies they had in place.
Although, I have moved on and have another interview in the next couple of weeks. But the real bummer is that this former place is literally a 10 minute walk from my place (save time and money on travel), while the next opportunity is less than 30 minutes away, I'd have to go through the hustle and bustle of commuter hell subway to get there.
I did mention to the former one's that I would still be open to them, if they would be. Thing is, I cannot sit around and wait 6 months for perhaps next time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I got sober before the existence of cell phones and personal computers.
Which is great, because I would have used social media as a megaphone while I was drinking.
But I nevertheless felt that people really wanted to talk to me when I was drunk, so I would be sure to call as many people as I could.
Sometimes I would try to think of the person who wanted to see me the least and go over to their house with a couple of six-packs to hang out for a while.
I'm glad you are going to alcohol abuse counseling - that is a really smart idea.
I suggest that you be open-minded about pursuing a plan of recovery as well.
For me, that has worked.
Nothing else did for me prior to that time.
Thanks for keeping us posted.
Which is great, because I would have used social media as a megaphone while I was drinking.
But I nevertheless felt that people really wanted to talk to me when I was drunk, so I would be sure to call as many people as I could.
Sometimes I would try to think of the person who wanted to see me the least and go over to their house with a couple of six-packs to hang out for a while.
I'm glad you are going to alcohol abuse counseling - that is a really smart idea.
I suggest that you be open-minded about pursuing a plan of recovery as well.
For me, that has worked.
Nothing else did for me prior to that time.
Thanks for keeping us posted.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by ThatWasTheOldMe 
Today is day 17.
I think I will continue using this thread to remind myself what my day 1's are like.
I think I will continue using this thread to remind myself what my day 1's are like.
Good on you. Day 9 here.
I still have cravings despite the anti-craving meds, but it would be worthless to drink cuz the meds would ruin/eliminate any buzz of alcohol even if I caved in.
I don't really get the point of non alcoholic beer or beverages, to me, alcohol is not tasty (wine is so sour, I don't think I could qualify any type of wine as tasting good). I drank purely for the effects, but unfortunately am not one of those who can moderate my intake for pure enjoyment alone, and then leave it alone.
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