150 days sober
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
150 days sober
150 days sober today, in 2 days its 5 months AF.
5 months is such a short time but boy what a long time it has been in sobriety. I certainly mean this as a positive. I have learnt so much about myself and continue to surprise myself daily. Its not so much about drinking anymore at all. It is more about moulding myself into society as a non drinker. After all it seems we are the minority, perhaps percentage wise I am wrong but it certainly does look and feel like it. I do not need alcohol to exist anymore and that is such a relief. I am no longer a liar, cheat, depressed, neurotic mess, full of low self esteem and low self confidence. I am totally opposite. My honesty and self belief is back. I am simply a better person, a person I like now. I don't have to drink to make me feel better/normal when I wake up. People drinking and alcohol around me doesn't bother me anymore when going out. I don't have FOMO. The thing is that I prefer my life this way. I am still me just a far better version. I never thought this would be possible and looking back to day 1 I am surprised how I ever managed to get out of that vicious cycle, short of a miracle. It was rehab for me (the first and last time, my 3d sobriety attempt) that has made the difference. Learning about addiction, the brain, meeting other addicts totally opened my eyes to this. The blinkers came off and it hit home how far down I had spiralled. It was a wake up call, a serious one. It was the kick up my butt that I needed. Everything in my life has started to fall in place all by itself, perhaps the higher power is there looking after me I don't know but I like it. The inner peace and calmness I had lost for several years and that I so desperately was looking for has come back. The joy of living is back.
I do know that I want sobriety more than anything else. It is a promise I have told myself. I will never drink again. It has lied to me and I don't want to deal with liars anymore.
So for anybody just starting out. I can honestly say that in just short 5 months it is possible to really turn your life around. It may feel daunting to say goodbye to your "best friend" who has been there through the good times and bad times. You will discover that "the best friend" was actually nothing but a back stabbing bitch that was out to destroy you.
My own observation was that the hardest part of this journey was the first 60 days. Don't isolate but become part of a recovery group(s) such as SR AA SMART anything. Be part of it daily. Listen to podcasts, read books and educate yourself about alcohol, addiction and recovery.
I am lucky to have a 100% supportive partner. I have nothing to hide from him. He knows everything. The good the bad and ugly. I told him how I used to hide my drinking from him. He said 'No you didn't, I knew you drank in the mornings, you know how I know, I could smell it on you all the time". He has found hidden empty bottles in various places at home.
The journey is a lot easier now but I know this road has twists and turns and I am prepared for it. I am also aware that I can undo all this in a day by drinking. It is such a thin line that I am walking. So that is why I will never drink again. My promise to myself. I am really looking forward to the next 5 months.
Sobriety gave me what I thought alcohol would.
5 months is such a short time but boy what a long time it has been in sobriety. I certainly mean this as a positive. I have learnt so much about myself and continue to surprise myself daily. Its not so much about drinking anymore at all. It is more about moulding myself into society as a non drinker. After all it seems we are the minority, perhaps percentage wise I am wrong but it certainly does look and feel like it. I do not need alcohol to exist anymore and that is such a relief. I am no longer a liar, cheat, depressed, neurotic mess, full of low self esteem and low self confidence. I am totally opposite. My honesty and self belief is back. I am simply a better person, a person I like now. I don't have to drink to make me feel better/normal when I wake up. People drinking and alcohol around me doesn't bother me anymore when going out. I don't have FOMO. The thing is that I prefer my life this way. I am still me just a far better version. I never thought this would be possible and looking back to day 1 I am surprised how I ever managed to get out of that vicious cycle, short of a miracle. It was rehab for me (the first and last time, my 3d sobriety attempt) that has made the difference. Learning about addiction, the brain, meeting other addicts totally opened my eyes to this. The blinkers came off and it hit home how far down I had spiralled. It was a wake up call, a serious one. It was the kick up my butt that I needed. Everything in my life has started to fall in place all by itself, perhaps the higher power is there looking after me I don't know but I like it. The inner peace and calmness I had lost for several years and that I so desperately was looking for has come back. The joy of living is back.
I do know that I want sobriety more than anything else. It is a promise I have told myself. I will never drink again. It has lied to me and I don't want to deal with liars anymore.
So for anybody just starting out. I can honestly say that in just short 5 months it is possible to really turn your life around. It may feel daunting to say goodbye to your "best friend" who has been there through the good times and bad times. You will discover that "the best friend" was actually nothing but a back stabbing bitch that was out to destroy you.
My own observation was that the hardest part of this journey was the first 60 days. Don't isolate but become part of a recovery group(s) such as SR AA SMART anything. Be part of it daily. Listen to podcasts, read books and educate yourself about alcohol, addiction and recovery.
I am lucky to have a 100% supportive partner. I have nothing to hide from him. He knows everything. The good the bad and ugly. I told him how I used to hide my drinking from him. He said 'No you didn't, I knew you drank in the mornings, you know how I know, I could smell it on you all the time". He has found hidden empty bottles in various places at home.
The journey is a lot easier now but I know this road has twists and turns and I am prepared for it. I am also aware that I can undo all this in a day by drinking. It is such a thin line that I am walking. So that is why I will never drink again. My promise to myself. I am really looking forward to the next 5 months.
Sobriety gave me what I thought alcohol would.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 963
Your post has helped me more than you know. I just got to 3 months (on 96th day) and this is the longest that I have gone without drinking for twenty-something years. But during the last ten days, the AV has been screaming in my head.
I've been looking for a post of someone who has 5-6 months for inspiration and, then, your post popped up! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And most of all: CONGRATULATIONS!
I've been looking for a post of someone who has 5-6 months for inspiration and, then, your post popped up! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And most of all: CONGRATULATIONS!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Originally Posted by listae 
Your post has helped me more than you know. I just got to 3 months (on 96th day) and this is the longest that I have gone without drinking for twenty-something years. But during the last ten days, the AV has been screaming in my head.
I've been looking for a post of someone who has 5-6 months for inspiration and, then, your post popped up! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And most of all: CONGRATULATIONS!
I've been looking for a post of someone who has 5-6 months for inspiration and, then, your post popped up! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And most of all: CONGRATULATIONS!
It was particularly rocky around the 90 day mark and then bang the mental shift just has started from then. Just keep going. I set my goals smaller so they are not overwhelming. Next goal 6 then9 months then 12months. The further I am away from active addiction the stronger I get. Lets just do this this time around!
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 963
Originally Posted by sydneyman
It was particularly rocky around the 90 day mark and then bang the mental shift just has started from then. Just keep going. ... The further I am away from active addiction the stronger I get. Lets just do this this time around!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
Something to aspire to. Keep it up. I found the 60 day mark the hardest each time. Just enough time for me to trick myself into "forgetting" how bad it was, both the blackouts and the withdrawals.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
My last binge is cemented in my head. My day 1 leaving home for rehab with my suitcase. I was thinking how my life had come to this. Time for a BIG change while I still have the opportunity. I take myself back to that very often...
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