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Poor me!!!!!

Old 04-04-2019, 03:29 AM
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Poor me!!!!!

Will I ever stop being so sensitive!?

How do you stop giving a toot what people say and allowing it to affect you!? My frustration for myself is growing by the day....***rolls around crying like the big baby I am!!

Peace
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Old 04-04-2019, 03:46 AM
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It was a gradual process for me.
As a kid and then later as a drinker I existed a lot on external validation.

Slowly that changed to internal validation.
That was growth I could only do when sober.

D
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Old 04-04-2019, 03:51 AM
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I am also wayyy too sensitive. And I don't know why. I have a hard time killing a friggin bug.

There's a quote that I thought may be relevant, by Foster Wallace;
You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.

Everyone, absolutely everyone, is the center of their own world.
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Old 04-04-2019, 03:53 AM
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Take a lesson from this little expert in Daily Affirmations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg
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Old 04-04-2019, 04:13 AM
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It wont happen over night, i used to be like that, but now what people think of me is none of my buisness
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Old 04-04-2019, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted by PeaceInSilence View Post
Will I ever stop being so sensitive!?
If its who you are, maybe not. So you must learn to embrace your sensitivity, learn how to not be hurt by it.
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Old 04-04-2019, 04:52 AM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
If its who you are, maybe not. So you must learn to embrace your sensitivity, learn how to not be hurt by it.
Oh I don't know if I can do that doggonecarl! I always see my sensitivity as a negative trait, how can I possibly spin that around!? I want to be able to understand a point but not allow it to weight me down.

I sometimes feel like a hedgehog stuck in a polystyrene factory

Peace x
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Old 04-04-2019, 04:59 AM
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I did quite a lot of reading about how to let go of things that other people do.

It's an acquired skill - one that doesn't come easily and definitely not in the first month of sobriety. In early days if anyone even used the word, "you," in my direction I had a meltdown.

It comes in time. In time I stopped caring so much about other peoples' unfiltered words.
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Old 04-04-2019, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by PeaceInSilence View Post
Will I ever stop being so sensitive!?

How do you stop giving a toot what people say and allowing it to affect you!? My frustration for myself is growing by the day....***rolls around crying like the big baby I am!!

Peace
When you have good values and goals that you believe in, you will come to appreciate yourself and what other say will become meaningless. Discomfort is the pathway to a meaningful life.
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Old 04-04-2019, 03:42 PM
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It'll stop when you get your self-esteem from internal and not from external sources. The more I grow, the less I care what other people think of me. I'm still working on this, though. Just the other day my doctor helped me see that I give away my power by letting what other people think of me effect how I think about myself. It should only matter what *I* think of me.

Sensitivity can be a good thing. It doesn't always mean "thin skinned". It can mean you're in tune to and care about other people's feelings.
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Old 04-04-2019, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Pathwaytofree View Post

Sensitivity can be a good thing. It doesn't always mean "thin skinned". It can mean you're in tune to and care about other people's feelings.
Ain't that the truth. I suffered from a self centred sensitivity. All about me, they don't like me, they are talking about me, everyone is looking at me, they did that to hurt me. Me me me. Truth is I am probably the furthest thing from their minds. How crazy for me to think I am the centre of other peoples thoughts.

The sensitivity is really about my ego. When it feels threatened my ego responds with fear, dishonesty and resentment.

True sensitivity as described above, is something worth striving for. I can't say I am that good at it, but I am better than I was, and when it comes to me I am more likely to laugh at myself rather than take offence these days.
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:22 AM
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Exactly what Gottalife said applies for me, too!

I forget how much sober time you have, Peace? A lot of this stuff, and this topic/struggle/trait in particular is one this alcoholic struggled with...still does when it's something or someone "close" to me - or who hits home in a big way.....

I had to and have to keep going sober- and working my tools and program to keep my perspective.
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Old 04-05-2019, 04:35 AM
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I also find ego at the bottom of my defensiveness, momentary irritation, flashes of anger.

My true self is calm, accepts people do what they do (just like me) and doesn't easily take offense, or go on the offense.
That doesn't mean I'm a doormat--but my way of saying "no" is increasingly not aggressive or coming from fear.
That typically will de-escalate a difficult situation instead of increase the problem.

I'm much more peaceful, in short, when I step back and observe my ego instead of responding from it.

Not always easy, but noticing and making the disconnect is the first step.
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