KeepingUp

Gettingcloser

I completely get the bedroom thing! I also began to resent my bedroom. It became a place where I would pass out then wake up feeling like crap. grab some more to drink. Lie down and keep drinking. It developed a weird, toxic smell. Ugh.
I associated it with terrible anxiety and sleepless nights.

One of the best things I did for myself when I quit drinking was to take my bedroom back from the drinking darkness and turn it into a safe place.
Now it is clean, smells great and is very inviting.

Finalround

And just get through today. However you can and whatever it takes, get trough today without drinking. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

There's a reason you hear, "one day at a time"

least

Don't get cut when you clean up the glass.

Canuck76

I am also socially isolated and go to bars alone just to get out of the house. I will talk to strangers too and lie through
my teeth. Boredom and loneliness are a big trigger for me. Alcohol takes away the loneliness for the moment.

ConfusedGuy

This morning, so tired. I have to go to work later. Did not sleep well, awake maybe half the night. Drinking a LOT of water in the night. Also feel bit dizzy and queezy. Woke up with heart thumping away a lot, which happens sometimes after been drinking. I guess this will stop after a day or two. Hope so.
I could take day off maybe but then I fear I will convince myself to go have 'just one' which would pick-me-up but it won't be just one, have to be brutally honest here.
So maybe it's best to go to work in an hour or so. Haven't eaten any food apart from one chocolate bar yesterday afternoon, but not hungry at all. Should eat something I guess. Not got much in fridge, some stuff needs throwing. Can't face going to supermarket, so maybe will just eat junk if I feel I must eat anything today. Thinking about eating is making me feel queezy. Kitchen stinks of disenfectant. Stomach is churning. Probably all the water I drank in the night. Feel like sh*t to be honest, but its over 24 hours clear of alcohol. Probably live on chocolate and water today, get a shave and try not to fall asleep at work.

Tailai

Obladi

Hey Guy,

I think going to work was a good call. It's difficult to live through the withdrawal stuff, but the day goes at least a little bit faster than it does when doing nothing?

Just get through today/tonight. Things are bound to get better. I think if you can eat something healthy (and not too heavy), that could help with the nausea.

24 hours is fantastic - keep racking up the hours!

O

ConfusedGuy

Back at my apartment. I nodded off to sleep behind my computer this afternoon but luckily no-one noticed. Did a few easy tasks, going to get some oats and water because I really still dont think I can eat much. had some salted peanuts earlier. A few times I felt really dizzy like I was going to fall over, but it passed. Going to have a long bath because I seem to be sweating crazy today. Don't know why. Bit worried about the weekend - this girl I often drink with, we talk and get drunk (she has some english), and I just know she wont like it if Im not drinking, especially at the weekend- I guess we look after each other a bit when its like 4am.. , but if I have a problem then she does too. But I've made the decision to stay stopped, whatever. Downloaded some old AC/DC to listen to tonight... hopefully get some sleep. People got worse problems than me in the world.

Dee74

Hi Confused Guy - I would see someone about the dizziness - last thing you need is to faint and hurt yourself?

D

Obladi

I agree with Dee, Guy. Of course the right thing to do if you're concerned about your health is to see a doctor. They see people like us all the time - there's really no reason to shy away. I'd encourage you to eat something too, even if you don't feel like it! That may well help with the dizziness as you've eaten essentially nothing the last couple of days.

As far as the girl goes, you might want to avoid hanging out with her for awhile. You have to come first and not worry about her opinion about you not drinking. And anyhow, you should be sleeping soundly at 4am - right?

Yes, people have worse problems than you, but yours sounds pretty serious. It's ok to focus on yourself and only yourself right now.

Oh, and I sweat like crazy while detoxing too. In my experience, it passes within a day.

O

ConfusedGuy

Sorry people, Ive taken a couple of drinks (3) but Ive stopped and come back to my apartment. My head was bursting and I just needed something - its so hard to explain this. But I stopped after I think three drinks, but it was hard. Feel like I have let everyone down here who has been so helpful. I dont know if I can give up now. Im not drunk but I do feel ashamed. I also feel more relaxed to be honest but I know it's wrong and half of my head is planning a session tomorrow and the other half desperately does not want it. It is like there is a war going on inside me. I have the day off tomorrow because I booked a days holiday because I needed to relax after 2 nights of detoxing and try to eat, But now it is just like there are two people inside my head. One is saying you cannot carry on drinking, the other one is saying it will be ok, and this is what life is about, after all it is Friday tomorrow. Just three little drinks and I am in turmoil in my head. But I don't feel sick for first time in a couple of days.

ConfusedGuy

Wishing i could just afford to go to a monastery or something and hide for a year from everyone.

Canuck76

I know what you mean about disappearing for a while. I would do the same in a heartbeat if I had the resources. I would check in to rehab for 90 days if I could afford it.

Obladi

Guy,

Yeah, we're all familiar with that raging battle - drink/not drink. Over and over without stopping. The only way I know to stop that argument is to make a firm decision and stick with it. That's it.

I'm sure not disappointed in you. Lord knows I've been there more times than I can count on my fingers and toes as well as those of my large family. But I do I hope that you make that firm decision now - it will save you a world of hurt that no person needs to go through.

O

jjkjlklj

Hey Guy

Well, you stopped after the three or so. That's progress, right!?!

I know myself that when I fail to quit, I want to hide. And I don't want to disappoint people, even us randomers on the Internet!

But I think the important thing is to keep trying. You're around people who understand here.

Guener

It doesn't hurt me that you drank, you're not hear to please me or anyone else, though we are happy for you that you are in a frame of mind to recognize your problem and try to deal with it.

There are other things you know that you can do aside from picking up again, days off from work or not, and you have to do those things. Have you tried going to a meeting yet? Maybe you need some face to face interaction to help bolster your strength to see through this now? At the least you can post here before you go into an establishment with the mind to consume.

You can start again, there is nothing more important than trying harder this time. We will still be here for you. Check your mental premises and move on forward anew.

Dee74

Hey Confused Guy - a lot of us faltered a time or two. I know I underestimated just what it would take to stay sober.

The one thing I'd suggest tho - is post here first - before you decide to drink.

You may very well find that you can get through the discomfort and stay sober

Every time you stay sober is another little bit of proof that drinking is not the only 'solution' to our problems

Start building up alternative strategies man
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

D