Newlife2606

Hi all. So I'm starting on this journey that I have started a good few times before, each time things seem to go pear shaped by day 4. So I thought I would try something different on here. I'm 37 prob been drinking since about 18. Roughly I drink about 36- 40 units a week normally on two days. To be honest, I'm just sick of it and of waking up tired after another night of crap sleep and a headache. I've no idea how this happened but here I am. My life is going really well, I'm successful in work, fit, I even ran a couple of marathons last year, I have a great family so I just want this problem out of my life. I had to admit to myself I had a problem when I realised I couldn't remain tee total for a week. So in May, I am getting married and I reckon it's the time for a new start as I don't want to take this problem into my relationship and saddle my wife with it. So here I am telling all you guys and looking for support with this to help me stay on the right path.

Dee74

Welcome back Newlife

I looked back and mot of your threads are pretty similar to a lot of us...no real plan beyond not drinking, a good start....and then petering out.

Have you given any thought to how you're going to make permanent sobriety work for you?

D

Newlife2606

Hmm not really. I have a lot of support in that my family don't really drink and my wife to be drinks very little. I amooking at my week and planning things in for when I normally look for a drink or changing normal routines when I know I will have a weak spot. I have an app that records my sobriety and I have rejoined here for support from you guys. Im confident in that my friends will be fine with me not drinking, it's myself I don't trust really. I made a decision to be really honest and open with my wife about it, which seems obvious but I was really struggling with the shame of having the problem and letting her down so I thought, right I need to break this and do something different

fini

yes, doing something different was very helpful to me, too.
and i, too, decided not to take this problem with me, going forward. turned out that "this problem" was a bit more enmeshed in me and my life than i had realized, and i mention it not to discourage you but to encourage you to invest time in looking at and considering the "plan" that you will often hear spoken of here.
connecting with others was a huge part of the doing-things-differently for me.

Newlife2606

I'm.not clear what you guys are suggesting I should do? I welcome advice so could you explain what you mean.by a plan? I am.pretty sure I know why I drink, I'm an avoider and I drink when I feel stressed or worried and that has now.become mixed up with addiction. I know that the only way I can stay sober is to find a different way to manage stress, which I am.trying to do. I have enlisted help from a.family member who has gone through addiction, told my family that I am quitting, reduced my work hours to reduce stress. I also go to therapy look at the issues underlying my addiction. By connecting with people do you mean having a plan for people I can reach out to when I'm struggling? Thanks

Dee74

This is what I'm talking about
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

It took more for me than just the idea of trying to stop drinking.

My life, the way I had fun, or relaxed and the way I dealt with things, was bound up in drinking.

I had to think through all those things and devise a plan for staying sober, find support - and use it.

D

fini

hi Newlife,
how wonderful you are asking for clarifications; breath of fresh air.
for me, connecting with people at the beginning was in greatest part a combination of daily participation in a recovery forum on line, and i also went to one face-to-face Lifering Secular Recovery meeting per week.
i had been a very secret drinker and have a rather judgey family, so that is not a place i went looking for support.
i did have one friend i could bounce stuff around with about this,
all the things you’re doing sound like a good foundation-building.

least

My plan, at the beginning of my sobriety, consisted of weekly sessions with an addiction counselor and daily visits to this site to read and post.

I no longer see the counselor but still come here every day to get and give support. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Hevyn

It's great to have you back with us, NewLife. We know you can get free.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

Newlife2606

Thanks guys, really appreciate the advice. I think I don't realise how lucky I am to have the supports I do. I have taken up running again as an evening activity now the days are getting longer and I'm also scheduling in more time for down time with friends or just to walk my dog. I will have to give some thought to the danger times and what I can do. Thanks do much

biminiblue

So, are you "quit" as of now?

This weekend will be your first alcohol-free one? Stay busy would be my suggestion. I spent time reading about alcohol dependency and I posted daily in my Class of March thread. It was good to touch base with people who were at the same (sometimes difficult) stage of quitting.

It takes time to feel better. Completely worth it. I've been alcohol free for five years now.

Congrats on this huge life-changing decision.

Newlife2606

Yeah day 3 today. So far not too bad except some cravings. I'll check in tomorrow but so far so good