GrayJ

I say event, it's a quiz for charity - but drinking will most definitely be a theme and so will the people I'm going with. I will definitely go as I love a good quiz, but just looking for a bit of encouragement/reassurance that I DO NOT NEED TO DRINK from you lovely people. It's not easy to get it from people in real life all the time is it, sadly?

I'm also starting a new job next week and that is really giving me anxiety.

Thanks guys.

Dee74

Its not, but it's not impossible either.

I wanted more than anything to be sober.
I gave up all social invites that might involve alcohol for a few months.

I'm still glad I did that - it's one of the reasons I think I'm still sober 12 years later.

I can go anywhere and do anything now - but I had to work up to that. I had to put clear distance between who I had been and who I wanted to be.

I'm sure that if your resolve is good and you have a well thought out plan you can stay sober tonight, but to be honest? It's not something I could have done or tried at 10 days in.

Giving up drinking is really hard - why make it harder on yourself?

D

August252015

I immediately thought of the same question as Dee - WHY?

I'm trying to generate helpful questions for you, not be a jerk.
Why are you going? Do you feel like you have to, or because it is for a good cause? Because friends are going? etc.

These are common feelings to anyone in early sobriety.

I have to say that what Dee elaborated on about the why is important to me in every way, even here at 3 yr and a month: why make it harder on myself to be in recovery, rather than easier?

Putting myself into physical risk early on (or emotional imbalance now) was just not something important enough.

I hope you change your mind and don't go.
If you do, a lot of us can suggest having a plan besides just wanting or hoping or even vaguely planning not to drink.
Specifics can include:
Going a little late and leaving early.
Having your own transportation
Having your own bev (I bring lime sparkling water with me everywhere, even in a carry cup to restaurants a lot of times, or at least in my car.)
Have someone at or better, outside of the event to text if you get squiggly AT ALL
Excuse yourself - going to the ladies is always a big diversion for me, still but especially when I started getting agitated early on.

A huge one if you start to even toy with the idea of drinking: play the tape thru. Literally. Start with taking a sip, a whole drink...play out what you know would happen, exactly the kind of scenario likely to happen if you started drinking (ie, the kind of stuff that made you quit)...all the way to tomorrow morning.

Probably not good...

I bet there's another quiz night much further into your recovery, too.

Glad you are here - hope you make good choices.

MantaLady

I have to agree with Dee here. I had to put some distance between me and my old drinking habits to give me a fighting chance at longer term success. Also, when I was stressed and anxious, going anywhere and doing anything that would put me in a vunerable position where alcohol was concerned was a definate no-no.

Learning to do what was best for me versus letting my ego run the show and doing what it thinks is best was a very valuable lesson in sobriety and something that was key to me getting as far as I have to date.

Have an escape plan and use it if you feel uncomfortable at any point. xx

GrayJ

I'm home. I didn't drink, even though everyone else was. Also, there was a table of drunken middle aged women who were being so disruptive, loud and brash. I did not envy them for a second. I was even invited back to my friends house for a few gins but decided against it.

Dee74

I'm glad everything went ok GrayJ - I still think the advice here is pretty good though

I was always road testing my resolve...first time out I did great...second time too usually...but sometime after that...same or similar situation... I'd drink without hesitation.

I learned it wasn't necessary to continually put my head in the lions mouth to realise how important my head was to me

D

GrayJ

The advice is definitely great. Thanks guys x

August252015

Glad it went ok Gray.
I reallllllly have to echo Dee's latter post reinforcing our first ones

I know so many people who go thru an occasion without drinking, and think along the lines of "that wasn't so hard" or some version of I can totally handle this....and before they know it, the next time they are in some situation and "all of a sudden" drink. It just takes time to get thru our heads that we can't drink, always have a choice, and to build new habits around pretty much everything.

I'd also venture that perhaps thinking about what the outing was like (good like you not drinking and bad, like the annoying ladies) and what you did right....and thinking about the very next social thing you have planned. Even if it's a week away. Or a month. Or, maybe you used to have dinner with friends a couple of times a month and it's about time again. Play that next event thru - I'm basically getting at the mind shift and ways to begin your sober life.

Are you working a program to support recovery?

GrayJ

Thank you I was very happy to have not drank, but i did feel uncomfortable at some points (The annoying ladies, general drinking going on). When you say working a program, do you mean like AA or something similar? If it is then no, I don't at the moment. I am seriously considering therapy though now that I have a full time job and can afford a bit extra.