My ex no 2 turned up in the middle of the night
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
My ex no 2 turned up in the middle of the night
That was one night ago. He woke me up by his talking and moving my bins. That is his signature. I haven't seen him in over a year. I presumed he was back in jail. I hope he is not homeless. I have been so scared I am drinking again. I am out of money due to a big bill. This is the guy who the police had to throw out of my house and I went to a shelter. I heard knocking again last night. I am trying not to drink much. Ex no 3 is dead so he can't help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Sweetichic, drinking will only make you more anxious.
You should maybe report the disturbance to the police so they can at least have it on record.
If it keeps happening and it is your ex you could file for a restraining order.
Letting alcohol in to your life will do more damage than any ex is my bet.
Try not to let paranoia or fear push you into making irrational decisions.
Will drinking stop the bins rattling and talking stop?
Booze isn’t the answer
Pour it away, your making yourself more of a target and more vulnerable with every drink.
You should maybe report the disturbance to the police so they can at least have it on record.
If it keeps happening and it is your ex you could file for a restraining order.
Letting alcohol in to your life will do more damage than any ex is my bet.
Try not to let paranoia or fear push you into making irrational decisions.
Will drinking stop the bins rattling and talking stop?
Booze isn’t the answer
Pour it away, your making yourself more of a target and more vulnerable with every drink.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
How many days did you have sober before he came to your house ? Or were you drinking anyway and his coming round is just another excuse to keep drinking Sweeti.
There will always be a reason to keep drinking, they are not difficult to find. Maybe posting on SR regularly will help you get and stay sober if that is what you really want. You only ever seem to post when there has been another drama about your ex, the other ex, his wife, his other wife, your mum, your daughters, money issues. But there will always be something in life that is going wrong for all of us that we can use as an excuse for drinking.
I speak in kindness - I know how hard it is as I am struggling too. But I feel we need to post regularly, before we pick up not just as a reaction to something bad happening. I hope you stick around this time. Why not join the March class
There will always be a reason to keep drinking, they are not difficult to find. Maybe posting on SR regularly will help you get and stay sober if that is what you really want. You only ever seem to post when there has been another drama about your ex, the other ex, his wife, his other wife, your mum, your daughters, money issues. But there will always be something in life that is going wrong for all of us that we can use as an excuse for drinking.
I speak in kindness - I know how hard it is as I am struggling too. But I feel we need to post regularly, before we pick up not just as a reaction to something bad happening. I hope you stick around this time. Why not join the March class
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
doesnt matter the problemS,there ARE a solutionS. always talk of the problemS,sweeti and only talk of solutionS and no actionS.
you have to chose to live in the solutionS rather than the problemS. IF you stop living in the problemS and start living in the solutionS, the problemS will go away.
you have to chose to live in the solutionS rather than the problemS. IF you stop living in the problemS and start living in the solutionS, the problemS will go away.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so you didn't actually SEE anyone or anything, you just think you heard something and have convinced yourself it has to be another ex? were you completely sober when this happened, or had you been drinking? a lot of this drama seems to happen when you have been holed up at home drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Anna 
Sweeti, drinking is not the solution to any of your problems.
If you are scared of an intruder during the middle of the night, call the Police.
If you are scared of an intruder during the middle of the night, call the Police.
What you are doing is alcoholic thinking problem solving. How's that working for you.
If I had an intruder in my yard the last thing I would think of is having a drink, would not even enter my mind. If there is a threat to me I want to have all my facilities and be ready to react, not drink, that makes absolutely no sense, does it make sense to you?
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I could offer you some advice, but you won't listen to a word of it.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,469
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I could offer you some advice, but you won't listen to a word of it.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
Very well put.
I struggle with what to say anymore.
Can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all is where I am at. So thank you for putting this very factual and respectful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by Anna
Sweeti, drinking is not the solution to any of your problems.
If you are scared of an intruder during the middle of the night, call the Police.
If you are scared of an intruder during the middle of the night, call the Police.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Come on sweeti. You might of had a day or to of not drinking but that is it. This is just another reason to continue drinking. You ignore people's reply's to your excuses, but have plenty of time to tell people all about your continued drama. Frankly, I think you are addicted to your drama that feeds your addiction to alcohol. You have plenty of excuses to continue both addictions. Your getting a high out of both addictions I really hate to say this, but unless you remove yourself from both addictions and put yourself in a recovery center to help you with both addictions, your situation will only get worse. I really think you feel your life and self worth is dependent on continuing this cycle. Let me ask you this. What do you think your life would be like without all the drama and drinking? Right now you live for both. Your life could be so much more. John
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I could offer you some advice, but you won't listen to a word of it.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I could offer you some advice, but you won't listen to a word of it.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 545
I can assure you these things Sweeti. You will never have a relationship with your parents. You will never have a relationship with your daughters. You will never have any friends. I see people on SR not responding to you anymore. You will be alone. And its ALL your choice.
Is this really what you want?
Is this really what you want?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I could offer you some advice, but you won't listen to a word of it.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
This is absolutely perfect.
I hope you do find it in you to help yourself Sweeti.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Sweeti, it is coming up on six months since your doctor told you to either stop drinking or die. If that isn't enough to get through to you, then nothing we say here is going to get through either.
MantaLady hit the nail on the head. We have done all we can do for you. If your life isn't important to you, then we are just wasting our words. Come on, Sweeti, either cook or get off the stove.
MantaLady hit the nail on the head. We have done all we can do for you. If your life isn't important to you, then we are just wasting our words. Come on, Sweeti, either cook or get off the stove.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
Originally Posted by MantaLady
I could offer you some advice, but you won't listen to a word of it.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
I could ask some questions to see how best to support you, but you won't answer any of them unless they are about the drama rather than your plans to stay sober.
I could tell you the truth, but you will consider that an attack.
I could sympathise with your drama, but that will justify your self assigned victim status.
I could offer you support when you get cravings to help to encourage you not pick up a drink, but you won't post before you drink.
You can only call drinking a "relapse" when you are actively choosing and trying not to drink but end up drinking. If you are only not drinking because you are skint that is not sobriety, you are not choosing anything as the choice is made for you. Seems to me that you come here and post when you are skint so we can support you through till your next paycheck which you buy alcohol with and then you disappear until you are skint again.
I am at a loss as to how to help you. One thing I do know is that until you help yourself there is not much anyone can do for you.
:
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
