Back at work and hitting the bottle ..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 28
Back at work and hitting the bottle ..
I'm sad to say that after a few months of being off work I returned to work a week ago & started drinking again, directly because of the stress & issues I've got going on at work. . Basically I'm being bullied, ostracised & scapegoated , which is why I went off sick. I really wish I hadn't gone back now , as nothing has changed at work and no one is listening to me . I feel so alone with it all. Had another job interview today but my morale & confidence is low so I'm not performing well at interviews. I'm desperate for another job to escape from my organisation which is toxic with a bullying culture that doesn't get addressed. I'm sure if I didn't have this crap going on I wudn't be drinking ☹️
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
"I'm sure if I didn't have this crap going on I wudn't be drinking"
I only said that about everything, everyday while I was drinking! It makes for a good excuse to not have to stop drinking or taking any action at all on your part. It makes you the victim and that's a fun role to play when you want to live in your addiction.
What actions are you taking to change and make your life better? Are you following a program like AA? If not than why not? I would suggest getting to an AA meeting and begin working the program post haste. Find a sponsor, work the steps and save your life.
I only said that about everything, everyday while I was drinking! It makes for a good excuse to not have to stop drinking or taking any action at all on your part. It makes you the victim and that's a fun role to play when you want to live in your addiction.
What actions are you taking to change and make your life better? Are you following a program like AA? If not than why not? I would suggest getting to an AA meeting and begin working the program post haste. Find a sponsor, work the steps and save your life.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Brightsky - I know you've heard it all before - but drinking never gives us the relief we are seeking. It just adds one more problem on top of everything else. In order to deal with challenges we need a clear head. Drinking makes us weak & vulnerable. I hope you'll give yourself a chance to get free so you have a real shot at a better job & life.
I'm glad you posted about what's going on. I hope you'll keep talking to us.
I'm glad you posted about what's going on. I hope you'll keep talking to us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I'm sure if I didn't have this crap going on I wudn't be drinking ☹️
i'm sure if you were not drinking, you could manage this situation with a clear head and make good decisions. you also would do better in interviews.
Had another job interview today but my morale & confidence is low so I'm not performing well at interviews.
i'm sure if you were not drinking, you could manage this situation with a clear head and make good decisions. you also would do better in interviews.
Had another job interview today but my morale & confidence is low so I'm not performing well at interviews.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 356
Do whatever you can to escape a toxic work situation. Being unhappy at a job, feeling trapped can lead you to self medicate. I know, I had a job I hated, bad co workers, and I was at the bar every day at happy hour. I regret staying at that job as long as I did. You can do many things to earn a living. Try something else. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Brightsky, being mistreated as you say you are at work is indeed terrible. If your co-workers are creating a hostile work environment for you, have you considered approaching your manager or HR to discuss it to get some advice or intervention while you are still working in the present firm? It's the only thing that I can think of that is an employee path to trying to face down your at work issues.
Drinking over it is only going to put you in a weak position to stand up for yourself. It will also bring all the other problems associated to your addiction that will impact your job search and application performance. Don't bring it back into the equation.
Drinking over it is only going to put you in a weak position to stand up for yourself. It will also bring all the other problems associated to your addiction that will impact your job search and application performance. Don't bring it back into the equation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
I can totally relate. I was in a job with toxic culture and boss from HELL. I was lucky to be made redundant, got paid out very well after 11 years working there. The price I paid though. I drank because I was an alcoholic but the work place fuelled the fire.
Best thing was getting out of there. Should have done it years before
If you need to work there to have an income you need to sober up and get another job. Otherwise this cycle wont end. Until you do that this wont end well. You know that. Strength to you ❤️
Best thing was getting out of there. Should have done it years before
If you need to work there to have an income you need to sober up and get another job. Otherwise this cycle wont end. Until you do that this wont end well. You know that. Strength to you ❤️
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 28
I know you're all right & I shud have got outta there years ago.. trouble is it's because i work in the NHS and there's so much pressure because of all the cuts and staff shortages it's created a bullying culture but it doesn't get addressed. I've been in the organisation nearly ten years and it's been hell for most of that time. It's an all too familiar story , yes I've been to HR, told my managers , etc but HR just collude with the managers , our union reps are useless & overworked themselves, so it just carries on unchecked and the bullies get away with it. Previously it's been a manager bullying my whole team but this is the first time I've been singled out targeted and scapegoated so it's much worse. I'm applying for jobs all the time so surely must find something else soon. I never want to work for the NHS again it's caused me nothing but stress and misery.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I had this victim mentality big time as my drinking progressed.
I had to get sober and stay that way to see the reality that I was the one causing 99.999% of the problems I had with work, and everything else.
Largely, because I kept choosing bad environments - now, I choose things that ONLY support sobriety, definitely including work.
I have to say this bluntly: stop, or it will keep getting worse.
It is astounding the clarity that sobriety brings us.
I had to get sober and stay that way to see the reality that I was the one causing 99.999% of the problems I had with work, and everything else.
Largely, because I kept choosing bad environments - now, I choose things that ONLY support sobriety, definitely including work.
I have to say this bluntly: stop, or it will keep getting worse.
It is astounding the clarity that sobriety brings us.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear about your work situation Brightsky. I work for a government organization too and understand the issues that surround budget cuts, etc all too well. Thing is though, there's no perfect job where most of the same issues don't exists. I jumped around several different careers when I was still drinking hoping to find the perfect spot - but it turns out that no matter where I went there were always problems. And what I eventually realized was that I was the problem...not the other way around. My addiction and how it affected my life went well beyond the physical act of drinking and physical symptoms. I was unable to effectively deal with my work issues, family issues, money issues - pretty much everything , all because I was in denial of the one problem that tied them together - my drinking problem.
I do wish you the best of luck in your job search, i'm in the middle of one myself. But know that the issues caused by your drinking will follow you no matter where you go. Like the saying say... "Wherever you go, there you are".
I do wish you the best of luck in your job search, i'm in the middle of one myself. But know that the issues caused by your drinking will follow you no matter where you go. Like the saying say... "Wherever you go, there you are".
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
I am self employed and when I feel frustrated and tired of it, I need only think about the many people going through the insufferable politics of toxic corporate culture like yourself. It makes me so grateful to be where I am right now.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. As I see it, you've got work to do on two fronts: one is to look for another job and the other is to stop drinking.
Sounds like you're well on your way to the former. Are you up to taking the next step and working on the latter as well? This won't happen over night but it will happen. Small, easy steps! Write things down.
You can do it!
I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. As I see it, you've got work to do on two fronts: one is to look for another job and the other is to stop drinking.
Sounds like you're well on your way to the former. Are you up to taking the next step and working on the latter as well? This won't happen over night but it will happen. Small, easy steps! Write things down.
You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
I only have this to say:
I used to say I drank to deal with my issues. Then I forced myself to stop drinking, and had less issues. The issues that remained, I was able to deal with head on, with a clear head. Now I don't have any issues. People say that don't even recognize the person that I am today, because I exude positivity and make those around me better for it.
Your problems begin and end with drinking, whether you can see that or not.
I used to say I drank to deal with my issues. Then I forced myself to stop drinking, and had less issues. The issues that remained, I was able to deal with head on, with a clear head. Now I don't have any issues. People say that don't even recognize the person that I am today, because I exude positivity and make those around me better for it.
Your problems begin and end with drinking, whether you can see that or not.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
youre alllowed to have a backbone and use it. youre allowed to not let people bully you.
sobriety has given me everything alcohol promised- even to stand up for myself and make decisions to make a better life for me- sittin around thinking about the decisions only kept me in the problem for a very long time.
sobriety has given me everything alcohol promised- even to stand up for myself and make decisions to make a better life for me- sittin around thinking about the decisions only kept me in the problem for a very long time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 18
I’m sorry to hear about the bad situation at work. Have you decided, with certainty, that you are going to find another job? From experience I can tell you that when a job is making you miserable and you make the conscious decision to leave it is freeing. I’m not talking “Maybe I’ll send a resume out if I see something”. I’m talking “F&@k these people. F&@k this place. I deserve better and I’m going to get it. If they don’t want to benefit from what I have to offer that’s their problem. I’ll find someone who values me and I’ll work with them. I’m not starting my search tomorrow; I’m starting tonight, because f&@k these people.”
Once a decision like that is made happy hour no longer is something you will view as an escape from the stress of dealing with nasty people. It is time you are stealing away from searching job postings and reaching out to your network for leads. It is a setback and extra day of misery at your current job. It also makes most of the stress from dealing with nasty people just melt away. Who cares what they think? You know they are short timers in your life.
Once a decision like that is made happy hour no longer is something you will view as an escape from the stress of dealing with nasty people. It is time you are stealing away from searching job postings and reaching out to your network for leads. It is a setback and extra day of misery at your current job. It also makes most of the stress from dealing with nasty people just melt away. Who cares what they think? You know they are short timers in your life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 18
And because that didn’t come across as clear as I had thought... “It also makes most of the stress from dealing with nasty people just melt away. Who cares what they think? You know they are short timers in your life.” was referring to the decision to make a 100% effort to get a new job and leave those toxic people in your past... not happy hour.
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