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To painful why why

Old 03-18-2019, 07:34 AM
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To painful why why

sorry to post again a negative post but I feel so so low today it’s unreal. I felt good yesterday and today I have dark thoughts about what’s the point my life is **** and I’m **** etc etc. I know it will pass but is it normal to go up n down like this. I never drank everyday but I relapsed a lot. Today day 16 feel like I just want to crawl to bed and not get up. Nothing changed from yesterday but been crying and feel so hopeless. Not wanting a drink just want hope that life will get better with more time cos I can’t handle this rollercoaster
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Old 03-18-2019, 07:38 AM
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Stay sober. It won't always be this way. It gets better, I promise.
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Old 03-18-2019, 07:38 AM
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Congrats on 16 days. Sorry you are feeling wretched.

It is still early in your sobriety, so it is quite normal to go through these ups and down. If they continue, though, you should go to a doctor and see if some form of depression is at the root of your problems. Not saying you are medically depressed, just that it is more effectively treated if you are sober.
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Old 03-18-2019, 07:39 AM
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I've expressed my feelings of "what's the point of life" on this board. That feeling passed, and I feel great. You will too. Just let it pass.
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Old 03-18-2019, 07:50 AM
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As others have said, this will pass Eve. Are you making sure to take care of your basics - make sure you are eating enough, getting sleep and getting a little moderate exercise - taking a walk is even a great idea.
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Old 03-18-2019, 07:58 AM
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I know we shouldn't blame alcohol for 100% of our problems- but once you quit, you sure do find a lot of problems it was responsible for.

For me, that "I am sh**" line was huge when I was drinking. In fact the voice would be far far worse than that. It would literally say "you should just kill yourself".

I never came close to that, fortunately. I regarded it as a melodramatic self-appeal for help. I thought that was just me and my self esteem. What was fascinating is how that voice went away when I stopped drinking.

I'm sure our inner psyche is a rich tapestry that cannot be unraveled completely- but I can't help blame alcohol for this one. Give it a couple more weeks and you're likely to see some very significant changes in yourself.
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Old 03-18-2019, 09:32 AM
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Thank you all. Just feel that iv irreplaply screwed up and wasted my life. So many bad things lost relationships disappointed in myself and who I have been most of my adult life. Feel numb and enough of me
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Old 03-18-2019, 09:36 AM
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Originally Posted by eve123 View Post
Thank you all. Just feel that iv irreplaply screwed up and wasted my life. So many bad things lost relationships disappointed in myself and who I have been most of my adult life. Feel numb and enough of me
We all did things that we regret but none of them can be changed. Worrying about it only causes more pain and sadness.

You have all the rest of our life left though - so what you do today is far more important than anything you've done in the past. Make it a good day and find something positive to do, it all adds up.
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Old 03-18-2019, 09:46 AM
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Thanks Scott just hard to accept the damage alcoholism has done and how long it took for me to finally see that
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Old 03-18-2019, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by eve123 View Post
Thanks Scott just hard to accept the damage alcoholism has done and how long it took for me to finally see that
Yes, it is hard - but most things in life worth having are not easy. Keep working and moving forward and you will be rewarded.
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Old 03-18-2019, 09:50 AM
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Day 16 is great, so be proud of yourself. And, yes the ups and downs are usually a part of early recovery. We need to learn how to manage our emotions because often we've spent years numbing ourselves. I wonder what else you are doing besides not drinking. I found exercise and music both helped me a lot.
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Old 03-18-2019, 10:05 AM
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I was the same.
Raw intense feelings.
It does get easier.
Just get through today and tomorrow will be different again.
There’s a lot of stuff your brain is processing at the moment.
Don’t let these temporary feelings and thoughts ruin your chance of freedom.
You’re doing great, keep going.
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Old 03-18-2019, 10:37 AM
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Eve123, 16 days is FANTASTIC, congratulations. I had plenty of pain and suffering at 16 days sober. At almost 9 years sober the pain and suffering concerning substance abuse has vanished. You can do it, we are all rootin for ya.
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:34 AM
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Hang in there, Eve. Most alcoholics find satisfaction in sobriety. Some fine it sooner than others. I wish I could print magic words to make you happy, but I can't. I hope you find peace.
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:41 AM
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Let it out. Feel your emotions. Cry until your eyes hurt (that was my case). Tomorrow will be better, and as others have said, this will pass. Don’t drink, keep going!
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:52 AM
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Just keep at it! 16 days is a great start, one day you'll realize that you've forgot to count and have to look at a calendar and be surprised by the number. Look foreward to that day.
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:55 AM
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just hard to accept the damage alcoholism has done and how long it took for me to finally see that

well drinking ain't gonna fix it!
you are exactly where you are supposed to be....a smidge over two weeks as a sober person. you ARE going to have ups and downs, we all do. the longer you stay sober and do the footwork, the less high or low those ups and downs will be. but you are not guaranteed to have sunshine and smooth sailing from here on out.

life on life's terms. some days good. some days great. some days eh. just how it is in the life of a human.
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Old 03-18-2019, 12:07 PM
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Hope you're doing well, Eve. Keep us posted. Don't worry about spending some extra time in bed if you need it, just listen to your body.
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Old 03-19-2019, 12:47 AM
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Thanks all for the words of support yesterday. I slept for over 10 hrs straight most iv slept in a long long time. I’m feeling better for it this morning and will have another sober day. A good walk and some chores feeling a lot lighter today I’m sticking through this as iv had periods of longer term sobriety before suppose I forgot about this bit as I was in rehab at that time during early days and was among my own kind. This place is a life saver as it allowed me to vent and get some feedback. Off to a meeting later also
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Old 03-19-2019, 12:53 AM
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Glad today is looking better eve

D
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