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Old 03-17-2019, 06:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Negativity


For some reason I stay away from this forum when I'm feeling negative. I suppose I feel that if I put my negativity down in writing it's going to grow and possibly lead somewhere I don't want it to.
My posts lately have all been based on positivity and the enhancement of that.

Without trying to come across as smug or boastful I am in an exceptionally good place at the moment and I truly believe that sobriety is the life I am choosing.

However, over the last 104 days there have been some really horrible, negative, uncertain and depressing times. There have been times that I have logged on to this forum and every single post has frustrated me, times where the whole movement of "recovery" has made me want to punch people in the face, times where I have honestly thought I'd rather be a crazy drunk than subscribe to this b/s.

If any of you in early recovery can relate to this I'd just like to say you're not alone. All I hope is that you push through in your own way, I know I'm still very early on myself but I've never made it this far before and I can honestly say the pieces of my previously anxious, depressed mess of a life are starting to solidly fall together.

I never believed so much of what recovering alcoholics said. I thought most of it was egotistical b/s. Maybe some of it is.
But, from my perspective, sobriety really can bring you exactly what you want.

You've just got to do it your own way.
For you.
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Old 03-17-2019, 07:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Lets,

I agree there are some weird posts or whatever...mine included. When I went to the few AA meetings in my earlier days...there was some weird folks...me included. At my job, there are some weird folks as well...me included.

As long as nobody starts openly attacking others things should be fine. The verbal attacks are triggers and can lead to escalating consequences.

Sometimes here I have blocked folks posts because they rub me wrong. I bet some folks have blocked me.

It takes all kinds, otherwise this world would be pretty boring.

I post here because as an addict for life, booze is an obsession. Plus, what I learned here probably saved my life...physically, emotionally, and financially.

I try to pay it forward.

The action and intent are what matters. If I was here for some financial gain..e.g. advertising my business...that would be different.

I try to help folks, even if sometimes I come across as to jerk.

Plus, it helps me.

Thanks.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system comprimise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 03-17-2019, 07:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I was not on SR for the first five months of my sobriety, so I don't know how I would have felt had I been so. There are many different ways that people here have found and are finding sobriety. Perhaps it was frustrating to you to hear some things, that it's really simple, that you need to do this thing or that to feel better, when everything in your head is telling you that it's better to have a drink. There are probably people who have felt the same way and just left, going back to their prior lives of drinking. But you have stuck around and are feeling better about where you sit, and that's a great thing to read.

The tone of posts around here crosses the entire spectrum of emotion, circumscribed by the rules of the forum that govern how we share. I am a reserved person, and, like you, I choose, most of the time, to try and be positive. Because of the safety of this place I also can express when I am having a problem, and I get advice and sympathy back in return. Again, we are all different in our personalities and inclinations, and that's a wonderful thing to have here.

You have reached out to let people know that if they feel it's all a crock, that this is a group of people self-evangelizing recovery nuts (which I rarely find), that it's good to stick around. I hope you reach them with your message. And, I'm really in agreement that recovery means that you have to do it for you (first). Thought provoking.
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Old 03-17-2019, 07:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I know exactly what you mean. Most of the time I am very happy, maintaining sobriety is easy, and I am thankful. But, sometimes I get frustrated that I can't get drunk. Not so much that I want 1 beer but I want to get waisted. My primary thought during these times is "why did I decide to do this stupid sobriety thing." "No one asked me to quit and I did not have any legal issues, such as a DUI, that required me to quit. If I just carried on drinking I could go get drunk."

However, I almost always use SR during these times. I post my thoughts which help tremendously. I also read my old posts to remind myself why I am choosing sobriety.

the good news is it does get easier and easier. Tuesday will be 5 months for me.
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Old 03-17-2019, 07:59 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Interesting thoughts.

As an example, I never cared much for AA. I am very much a lone wolf at heart and I do not like groups. Hell I hate it when people so much as clap on TV shows. It strikes me as so "culty and group thinkish". So AA, no matter how well meaning I thought it was, just wasn't for me. To put it mildly, I did not care for the whole "I'm an alcoholic/hi alcoholic thing" every 3 seconds....

That is why I really enjoy coming here. I can log on and off as I please, with relative anonymity and a lot more independence from "the group". That of course has its trade offs: less accountability, less camaraderie, etc- but for a guy like me that's a perfect fit.

You do indeed need to find what best suites you and if you're new to sobriety you might need some time to see what that is.

PS: positivity, while an essential ingredient in life, is very over rated. Negativity has its place, too. Only fools go around smiling 24/7. It's exhausting to be happy all the time.........infuriating, even.
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Old 03-17-2019, 12:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by letsgetsorted View Post
For some reason I stay away from this forum when I'm feeling negative. I suppose I feel that if I put my negativity down in writing it's going to grow and possibly lead somewhere I don't want it to.
My posts lately have all been based on positivity and the enhancement of that.

Without trying to come across as smug or boastful I am in an exceptionally good place at the moment and I truly believe that sobriety is the life I am choosing.

However, over the last 104 days there have been some really horrible, negative, uncertain and depressing times. There have been times that I have logged on to this forum and every single post has frustrated me, times where the whole movement of "recovery" has made me want to punch people in the face, times where I have honestly thought I'd rather be a crazy drunk than subscribe to this b/s.

If any of you in early recovery can relate to this I'd just like to say you're not alone. All I hope is that you push through in your own way, I know I'm still very early on myself but I've never made it this far before and I can honestly say the pieces of my previously anxious, depressed mess of a life are starting to solidly fall together.

I never believed so much of what recovering alcoholics said. I thought most of it was egotistical b/s. Maybe some of it is.
But, from my perspective, sobriety really can bring you exactly what you want.

You've just got to do it your own way.
For you.
Thank you. Your post really helped me today.
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Old 03-17-2019, 01:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Creating small rituals such as washing dishes by hand, paying attention to the dish soap bubbles and textures and feel of a sponge or cloth, the water and each dish helps me.

Thanks for sharing! Recovery is amazing.
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Old 03-17-2019, 04:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Just a note - there's no rule that says posts have to be positive - we can share our troubles problems and worries too

As for irritability & other peoples posts - I think everyone here knows what that feels like - I know when it happens to me, it's got more to do with me than the forum?

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