vxper

Hi all,

So my biggest struggle recently is sleep. After 3 months, I still struggle with good sleep. Almost every night I seem to only be able to get 2-3 hours straight each time actually fall asleep. Then when I do, I repeatedly have dreams of relapsing in just about every way my subconscious can think of. This is so strange to me as I feel like I have a really good handle on cravings/temptations in my waking hours.

All of this I think is feeding in to a more and more unhealthy cycle of forced insomnia. I tend to stay up longer and longer each night and am finally admitting it's because I don't want to face what waits for me in bed.

Last night was awful, I dreamt I snuck out to a bar, missed some important occasion, bought a bottle on my way home, felt horrible guilt, came clean to my wife and then she left me. I woke up drenched and breathing heavy with no way or desire to return to sleep after only two and a half hours of sleep.

I don't know what I'm expecting from any of you other than I just wanted to vent my frustration at this.

WhoDeyPI

I had dreams like that for awhile. I would dream of relapsing, but then wake up, realize it was just a dream, and be happy. Honestly, I was just happy to be dreaming because it meant I was finally sleeping. Eventually, my dreams started getting a lot more positive.

Unfortunately my medicine for my liver/kidney/heart failure makes me have to pee every hour...so I'm still always waking up!

melski

Hi vxper, congrats on three months!
My sleep habits were much worse before sobriety in general but my dreams have become more vivid.
It seems to go in cycles for me, really bad a t first, then much better, then weird dreams/restless sleep for a bit, then back to "normal".
I do think it takes some time for the brain chemistry to settle down.
What helps me somewhat is an evening cup of herbal tea for sleep and then I listen to a sleep meditation audio when I get into bed.
Sometimes I do the audio more than once during the night if I need to.
Lots of good ones out there you can download, both free and paid.
Hope this helps.

Snowydelrico

I had one last night that I had a drink then realised it was a dream but I was still dreaming and didn’t know if I’d actually had a drink or not.
Forgot about it till just now. Phew it WAS just a dream after all ( just pinching myself)
😀
They happen now and then. Nothing to worry about

vxper

Had those too when they're vivid enough. I usually have to think about it for a bit before I can realize that it WAS just a dream. Maybe an aspect of my anxiety? Don't know, I have Ativan for as needed but have only taken it 3 times as I'm not interested in picking up new habits while dropping old ones.

Snowydelrico

I lucid dream when there are a lot of things happening in my life.
I read up on it once and this was one of the causes.
Also b vitamins before bed.

Got quite good at lucid dreaming for a while and could even control them. Sounds weird I know but it’s a thing.

Best to stay off the drugs unless they’re necessary

least

It's normal for sleep to be irregular for a while after getting sober. As to the dreams, that's normal too. They'll go away with time.