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5 months sober! Paws symptoms

Hey there everyone hope all is well and everyone is doing well. March 13th was my 5 month mark on being sober. 5 months ago was that one night that sent me into this struggle with paws or what I believe is Paws. I still sit back sometimes and wonder why me.. why use? I never had a clue that someone could mentally mess themselves up for months or a year or so because of drinking and to experience some of the most unwanted feelings. If it wasn’t for the kind people on this site I would have drove myself more crazier.

I have realized that this this type of thing takes time to heal from and with due time things to get better over time and that I’m still healing mentally. I have went from my first month of feeling buzzed / stoned to feeling better and just a bit fuzzy or spaced out as if I’m not 100% functional. I know I can function normally but it’s like I’m just not all there mentally. Things still seem a bit grayer then what I remember before this happened. Some days I have hardly any motivation and then some days are better. The worst feeling I can say I have is feeling a bit spaced out and a bit of brain fog that keeps me from that clarity that I use to have before Paws. I know I’m only ate 5 months but can anyone else relate or can remember how long before the waves seemed to dissipated or be completely gone and felt normal again?! I keep telling myself that I’m getting closer and closer and then sometimes I’m sitting here saying well damn hope I didn’t permanently screw my self up and things won’t ger better.

Also I have a question for the people who been threw this before and may have slipped up or can possibly have a beer or 2 after years of sobriety. I will admit I was a binger and would drink to get wasted. I do not plan on ever going back to that way, BUT here is where my question comes into play. Has anyone that has went threw PAWS ever been able to drink again? After a couple years of sobriety where u able to socially drink or have a beer or 2 and that’s it WITHOUT going back to or threw this paws thing. I’m not a doctor and from what I’m aware of there is no cure or medicine for this type of thing. Has anyone been able to drink after years of healing and not gone back to this paws stage. It’s hard for a 25 Y/O to think I’m not ever going to be able to sip on a beer or 2 the rest of my life.

Thank you for listening to me rant on about this but this site and the people truly have been a god sent because like I said I would have lost my mind without answers.

Hi Blake -

sorry to hear you're still suffering . Did you read the PAWs link from previous threads - there are some good suggestions there for mitigating PAWs effects

Have you seen a Dr since you last thread?

I never drank again after my last time, but I know people here who did - and they said - with one voice - drinking again put them back to square one.

why would you want to drink again when you've suffered for 5 months since your last one?

Don't you think that desire, against all reason, might just be indicative of a problem?

D

I don't know about PAWS other than it takes a while to feel 100% after heavy drinking for years. All I can say about drinking again is, you can do what you want but sooner or later you won't want to and won't be able to stop. At least that's my experience drinking after quitting.

You could still have AF beer? I did over summer have a couple on a hot summers day. I was missing the taste. It certainly did the trick. There must be a huge market for AF drinks as they are everywhere.
I am almost 5 months so we have pretty much same amount of sober time. However, I have no desire to go back to what I so desperately wanted to get away from. The total mess I had created. It seems you were also in a similar place. Why would you now "risk" what you have achieved and are achieving. There is not one single person on this site that have been able to moderate. A "normal drinker" does not have to plan when or how much they drink. They drink when they feel like it. It could be sitting on a glass of wine for hours at dinner or not have a drink for weeks. My mind would start obsessing about it after I got a taste for it again. But then again we are all different.
Well done on 5 months, here is to another 5 and more to come!! Go us.

You must remember: abstinence does not equal control. Just because you haven't drank in a while doesn't mean you've 'learned' to control your drinking. I've been here 11 yrs and never once seen anyone who stopped drinking for a time and then could drink 'socially'.

Most stories like that are that they started out ok but soon slipped back into the old drinking habits. :(

And some have come back after horrible events, like DUIs and other issues. :(

I hope you can come to celebrate your recovery instead of focusing on what you're 'losing'. I've been sober over nine years and never once have I woken up sober and wished I had drank the night before.

I would also suggest that you start to practice gratitude every day. Do that for a while, until it becomes a habit, and see if it changes your life. :)

I went 18 months without a drink.
Was worse than ever when I started back up. It stole another 19 years of my life.
I suffered from paws it does fade. But can take up to 2 years I read.
I got used to the signs and learned how to ride them out.

Don’t pick up again that’s just insanity.
All the repairs to your mind body and soul will be put into reverse if you do.
5 months is admirable keep going and you’re going to reap the rewards you have worked so hard for.

Best wishes

Quote:

Originally Posted by least (Post 7145706)

I do love your posts Least. The things you say jump out at me and stay with me. :thanks

IMO (observation, in this case) and IME - getting thru a period of PAWS, which I firmly believe is real based on my experience, would have absolutely no bearing on "an ability to have one or two" (to paraphrase you, Blake). It would very likely be the opposite if you drank at all, yet still not have a correlation...bc of just what Least said, among others. Relapses encourage the progression of our disease, period.

Here's that very informative link Dee mentioned - look under tab PAWS -
https://digital-dharma.net/

ALSO - you mention 6 mo or a year for the mental issues, etc to clear up. Having an expectation of that is dangerous as we aren't "cured" and it can take far longer for that "stuff" to clear, and more importantly for us to continue gathering a better lens for our lives. For me, a nearly fatal case, here at 3 yrs and 3 wks, I am at my best so far, yet I fully anticipate being one of those people for whom the 5 yr mark is truly where my "healing" will meet yet another threshold.

Staying sober is the only way I can have the wonderful life I have now.

Hi Blake

I recommend not drinking NA stuff.

To me, it was simply pandering to my addiction - almost but not quite drinking.

We need to forge new behaviours not enshrine old ones.

There's so many other legitimately non alcoholic drinks out there that won't remind you of alcohol and that you can be sure aren't impacting on whatever is happening with you.

D

Congrats on 5 months! I definatley think there is such a thing as PAWS. I am almost 16 months sober. Some days are good...and some days are bad! The last few days i have more anxiety than ive had in a long time...and from time to time i think about drinking because everyone else does around me...then i remember the brutal hell the 1st year was. Drinking just isnt an option anymore..ever. you will get there. Just stick with it! Take the good with the bad.

Don’t try it my friend. Once you get to one or two years you won’t even miss it any more and it will just seem like a stupid risk. Keep the course and the pining to drink socially again will go away.

Funny you brought PAWS up. I posted this in the Nov 2018 Class thread this morning:

"SO I'm having a weird thing going on, I think it must be PAWS stuff but it hit out of the blue this morning and I've just been like dayum. Was sweating profusely all night but was cold most of the night. Awake almost all night, still not sleeping but that's not a new symptom. Foggy headed a bit this morning and eyes aren't working very well. General anxiety. And this is the kicker - I have that feeling like my skin is shaking or something is crawling on it. I'm 105 days today. I didn't really believe in the PAWS stuff like this before but I'm definitely experiencing something. It will be interesting because in about 20 minutes I start leading the class of new hires through the HR/Orientation presentation which will run about 3 hours. I'm not complaining. It's slightly uncomfortable and the eyesight thing is bugging me, just wanted to share because I never expected anything like this. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Finally got my frame for the mirror built, stained and the mirror is mounted and hanging. It was a good weekend!"

I will echo what's been said, I don't think trying to have a beer or two is a good idea. Maybe you're that one in a billion that could successfully revert to being a "normy", I know I'm not. I could do it for a while but my AV would rage that I could have one more, too. Why not? They are, why not me? It wouldn't take me long at all to revert to form. I tried to control my drinking before more than once and that was about as miserable as being drunk. I feel better both physically and emotionally than I can remember, even with all the bad stuff I'm dealing with. I don't ever want to go back.