1 month barrier I struggle to get through
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 60
1 month barrier I struggle to get through
Hi all.
Wanted to write down where I'm at on my sobriety journey. I gave up drinking at the start of January - not really sure what my goals were then - I didn't really expect to get beyond a couple of weeks, but I made it pretty much to the end of February with just one slip up. But I've drunk twice in March now, and I can feel it creeping up a little.
Over the past 72 days I've learnt to be sober in many situations in my life that I might have drunk in before, and at the moment the people around me expect me to order soft drinks. My health, exercise, finances have all improved. I don't want to lose this.
But I need to find some strength - it feels like I struggle to get past four weeks. I'm over physical dependency on alcohol, but I think that I'm struggling with commmmitment - if I give up for 2 or 3 months+ , I'm struggling with the idea that makes me tee-total - a lot of sober time changes who I see myself as.
Maybe I'm scared of a new life, I'm scared of the unknown I guess - how do I get through this fear ? I haven't managed to get through it when I've given up in the past. I always seem to get 4 or 5 weeks and then fall off the wagon.
Wanted to write down where I'm at on my sobriety journey. I gave up drinking at the start of January - not really sure what my goals were then - I didn't really expect to get beyond a couple of weeks, but I made it pretty much to the end of February with just one slip up. But I've drunk twice in March now, and I can feel it creeping up a little.
Over the past 72 days I've learnt to be sober in many situations in my life that I might have drunk in before, and at the moment the people around me expect me to order soft drinks. My health, exercise, finances have all improved. I don't want to lose this.
But I need to find some strength - it feels like I struggle to get past four weeks. I'm over physical dependency on alcohol, but I think that I'm struggling with commmmitment - if I give up for 2 or 3 months+ , I'm struggling with the idea that makes me tee-total - a lot of sober time changes who I see myself as.
Maybe I'm scared of a new life, I'm scared of the unknown I guess - how do I get through this fear ? I haven't managed to get through it when I've given up in the past. I always seem to get 4 or 5 weeks and then fall off the wagon.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Well done!! Sobriety was scary in the beginning to me too. Your whole life changes. I was a drinker since my teens now 53. I am just over 4 months sober first time ever. It is certainly is an eyeopener.
Recovery is something I work on daily. Its the new addiction I have to have. It takes 100% commitment. When I accepted the fact that AF is the only way for me to survive and live it made it so much easier. There is no margin for any ifs and buts of drinking. Some people had to go and obviously hanging around pubs and clubs don't happen anymore. I have been to both but don't hang around too long as it really gets boring once people get totally wasted and start talking crap. You need to look at this as a long term choice but breaking it down to smaller goals so its not too overwhelming. Also you need to replace the drinking with something. You can do this.
Recovery is something I work on daily. Its the new addiction I have to have. It takes 100% commitment. When I accepted the fact that AF is the only way for me to survive and live it made it so much easier. There is no margin for any ifs and buts of drinking. Some people had to go and obviously hanging around pubs and clubs don't happen anymore. I have been to both but don't hang around too long as it really gets boring once people get totally wasted and start talking crap. You need to look at this as a long term choice but breaking it down to smaller goals so its not too overwhelming. Also you need to replace the drinking with something. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome Back 
There are a few phrases in AA that I really like, here are a few.
Keep It Simple
One Day at a time
One day at a time if probably my favorite and the one I must go to the most often.
To live for today, in the now and to be present in the activities of the day.
Stressing about tomorrow or further is a danger zone for me, as those times are not here yet and then the moment of the 'here and now' is stolen from me and those around me.
I gave up all the friends and even family members that drank in excess or anyone who I thought was a threat to my sobriety. I did not want to be invited to an event or go somewhere because I felt I HAD to (the reality is I come first, no one else) go to these events. Well, if I was not friends with them, I didn't have to go and the invite would not come. Yea, loss is apart of sobriety, at least it was for me. But what I really "lost" was my biggest gain, a life of sobriety, good choices, and good people in my life who actually want to see me succeed and don't invite me to drink only events as they know that is not my thing.
The "unknown" is scary however we do not grow within our comfort zone, only when we step out of it do we experience strength and growth!
I appreciate your post as it put me in check, thank you!
There are a few phrases in AA that I really like, here are a few.
Keep It Simple
One Day at a time
One day at a time if probably my favorite and the one I must go to the most often.
To live for today, in the now and to be present in the activities of the day.
Stressing about tomorrow or further is a danger zone for me, as those times are not here yet and then the moment of the 'here and now' is stolen from me and those around me.
I gave up all the friends and even family members that drank in excess or anyone who I thought was a threat to my sobriety. I did not want to be invited to an event or go somewhere because I felt I HAD to (the reality is I come first, no one else) go to these events. Well, if I was not friends with them, I didn't have to go and the invite would not come. Yea, loss is apart of sobriety, at least it was for me. But what I really "lost" was my biggest gain, a life of sobriety, good choices, and good people in my life who actually want to see me succeed and don't invite me to drink only events as they know that is not my thing.
The "unknown" is scary however we do not grow within our comfort zone, only when we step out of it do we experience strength and growth!
I appreciate your post as it put me in check, thank you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 60
Thanks - kind of feels like I'm in limbo between a drinking life and my sober life. I've made a lot of changes the past 12 months
- Gradually moving away from my former drinking buddies
- been going to a running club each week, and even in their pub nights, there aren't really any big drinkers
- been going weekly to a meditation group.
- joined a pool team with 2 out of the 4 other players are tee-total and I've found it really useful talking to them.
- Been staying close to soberrecovery and reading pretty much daily.
- Listening to youtube videos about giving up alcohol every night.
I need to continue to make good choices. I think I've had a stressful couple of weeks that nudged me back towards drinking. But rather than drinking once, which would have given me permission to carry on drinking for months, I'm sticking close to soberrecovery and I will commit again to be sober one day at a time. Thanks for being here everyone.
- Gradually moving away from my former drinking buddies
- been going to a running club each week, and even in their pub nights, there aren't really any big drinkers
- been going weekly to a meditation group.
- joined a pool team with 2 out of the 4 other players are tee-total and I've found it really useful talking to them.
- Been staying close to soberrecovery and reading pretty much daily.
- Listening to youtube videos about giving up alcohol every night.
I need to continue to make good choices. I think I've had a stressful couple of weeks that nudged me back towards drinking. But rather than drinking once, which would have given me permission to carry on drinking for months, I'm sticking close to soberrecovery and I will commit again to be sober one day at a time. Thanks for being here everyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Originally Posted by andy1 
a lot of sober time changes who I see myself as.
When I started dealing with things, I was shocked to discover I was not who I believed I was for my whole life. How could that be? In some ways, it was like starting over and rebuilding from scratch.
My advice would be to not be afraid. Your mind will know when you're ready to process changes.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
Before I came here all I knew was that I was going to drink and I might do something else at the same time but I knew I was going to drink. All my teen years and adulthood, that's what every day was like. I've thought about it a lot in the last two and a half years just for a moment and then I remember the terrible feeling that I had all the time. It was drink something to feel better from the day before and start all over again, over and over and over. I would have bet anything that that was going to be the end of me. I was just going to drink myself to death. I don't know what happened but one day I set a date which just happened to be my birthday and this journey became the most important thing in my life cause I was going to die soon if I didn't do it. For me nothing else really matters as long as I don't drink or use. Best wishes for you on your journey.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Andy,
At 1 month to over 6 months my addiction would tell me anything to drink.
Any rationalization, any anger,any happiness, any occasion. Not drinking over and over was like hell on earth. But, the waking up sober, or just getting through the crave, was the best feeling ever.
Drinking altered my dopamine production. I needed booze to feel happy. I was lucky because I found Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to get me through.
Fighting for my life 3 to 4 days a week works wonders on dopamine production. Plus, I wanted to get better at bjj, so I didn't want to drink.
If I relpase I know there is no... no..... no...... chance of a new way of drinking. I tried them all and they all led to the same place. Hell on earth.
I go to work and out w family these days with a vigor, energy, and confidence I have never experienced. I am very patient as well.
Recently I had a jealous coworker try to embarrass me in front of a group of folks. In the past I would have met him in the middle and we would have had a serious altercation. I was able to act like a saint in the face of the attack.
He looked like a spoiled 8 year old office bully. It was sad for him. I did the right thing.
Being sober gets me through life much better. It is how I was designed to be.
Humans were never intended to drink toxic fermented liquid that alters our bodies and mind.
I don't believe the hype.
Thanks.
At 1 month to over 6 months my addiction would tell me anything to drink.
Any rationalization, any anger,any happiness, any occasion. Not drinking over and over was like hell on earth. But, the waking up sober, or just getting through the crave, was the best feeling ever.
Drinking altered my dopamine production. I needed booze to feel happy. I was lucky because I found Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to get me through.
Fighting for my life 3 to 4 days a week works wonders on dopamine production. Plus, I wanted to get better at bjj, so I didn't want to drink.
If I relpase I know there is no... no..... no...... chance of a new way of drinking. I tried them all and they all led to the same place. Hell on earth.
I go to work and out w family these days with a vigor, energy, and confidence I have never experienced. I am very patient as well.
Recently I had a jealous coworker try to embarrass me in front of a group of folks. In the past I would have met him in the middle and we would have had a serious altercation. I was able to act like a saint in the face of the attack.
He looked like a spoiled 8 year old office bully. It was sad for him. I did the right thing.
Being sober gets me through life much better. It is how I was designed to be.
Humans were never intended to drink toxic fermented liquid that alters our bodies and mind.
I don't believe the hype.
Thanks.
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