Integrating in to normal life.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
Originally Posted by MindfulMan 
See how easy it is for 'normal' drinkers to not drink. They're like "Oh well, she needs our support, so we won't drink." Alcoholics generally can't do that, or if they can, with great effort and complaining.
On the other hand, my longest enduring friendship is with a guy who is somewhere around borderline. Early on, I could tell he was anxious around me until he would finally go buy a six pack. Then he could relax.
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
We all tend to think, when we drink or use addictively, that EVERYONE thinks this way. Once you stop and if/when you are around 'normal' drinkers, they don't think that way at all. If they can't have a drink at a wedding it would be no big deal. If the restaurant didn't serve alcohol, they'd get something else. We think that everyone will notice that we're not drinking, when in fact, it really doesn't matter to them.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
You have to remember that most people don't understand addiction. I think that most people think it would be ok just for one drink or just one day. NOT!!!!! Best wishes whatever you decide.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Great advice already, but I wanted to add a small thing that helped me in the beginning. I always had a glass of something n/a in my hand. Usually sparkling water or Diet Coke. That way, I could sip at it if I felt nervous, no one felt the need to 'get me a drink,' and it was a physical reminder of my commitment to sobriety. I felt good for drinking something non-alcoholic.
And I definitely left some events early if I felt like I was getting overwhelmed. And had someone I could trust on speed dial if I needed to talk.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide!
And I definitely left some events early if I felt like I was getting overwhelmed. And had someone I could trust on speed dial if I needed to talk.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide!
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Originally Posted by DriGuy
This was surprising to me after I got sober. The world is filled with normal drinkers, and many of them don't drink at all. I'm even surprised this surprised me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 73
Checking in. I did decide to attend this last weekend and everything was great. I turned down offers of drink through the first night and day. On the second night when offered once again I just said "Nah, I'm off of the alcohol." The offerer asked "Any reason why?" to which I replied "I have a problem with it and am living sober now.". He smiled and simply replied "Oh, good for you man."
The next day I had one of those moments in which I felt simple joy, sipping my coffee as the rest of the guys slowly woke up looking slightly worse for ware and grumbling about how they felt. I shook hands, gave some hugs and got in my car for a 5 hour drive home feeling energetic and knowing that life in sobriety is not only possible but is the only way for me to live going forward.
The next day I had one of those moments in which I felt simple joy, sipping my coffee as the rest of the guys slowly woke up looking slightly worse for ware and grumbling about how they felt. I shook hands, gave some hugs and got in my car for a 5 hour drive home feeling energetic and knowing that life in sobriety is not only possible but is the only way for me to live going forward.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Good going! And glad it was positive, not just gritting through.
What are your plans this wk and have any social events on the horizon? I always risk sounding like a broken record but it's after that successful sober outing we often need more vigilance, and having a support plan in place that is about recovery is really important. Planning ahead so that next dinner with friends or house party or...doesn't sneak up on you - and perhaps writing down somewhere what was great and what you did this time, for future reference - are good ideas.
Glad you are doing well.
What are your plans this wk and have any social events on the horizon? I always risk sounding like a broken record but it's after that successful sober outing we often need more vigilance, and having a support plan in place that is about recovery is really important. Planning ahead so that next dinner with friends or house party or...doesn't sneak up on you - and perhaps writing down somewhere what was great and what you did this time, for future reference - are good ideas.
Glad you are doing well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by August252015
Good going! And glad it was positive, not just gritting through.
What are your plans this wk and have any social events on the horizon? I always risk sounding like a broken record but it's after that successful sober outing we often need more vigilance, and having a support plan in place that is about recovery is really important. Planning ahead so that next dinner with friends or house party or...doesn't sneak up on you - and perhaps writing down somewhere what was great and what you did this time, for future reference - are good ideas.
Glad you are doing well.
What are your plans this wk and have any social events on the horizon? I always risk sounding like a broken record but it's after that successful sober outing we often need more vigilance, and having a support plan in place that is about recovery is really important. Planning ahead so that next dinner with friends or house party or...doesn't sneak up on you - and perhaps writing down somewhere what was great and what you did this time, for future reference - are good ideas.
Glad you are doing well.
I feel good, I'm sticking to it and more and more the routine feels like less of a trial and more like my normal life. I'm looking forward to some outdoor fun and planning some camping/canoeing in the summer, something I could never do chained to the bottle. I'm through day 112 (counted wrong when I first posted :-/) and looking forward to day 113.
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