So I'm getting fired.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
So I'm getting fired.
I keep seeing the job I am at posted online in Korea. This is all because I chose to **** off and drink instead of show up for the 2nd day of work. The worst part is that I ghosted them without explanation. So I'm def ****** at this job.
This is the worst feeling I've ever felt and I hate myself. I've quit drinking now but it's too late for this job.
This is the worst feeling I've ever felt and I hate myself. I've quit drinking now but it's too late for this job.
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I've done that before with more than one really great job. I didn't get sober, and it ruined a very nice career that I had going. You can change things and possibly salvage things for the future, if you take sobriety as a fundamental challenge to transform yourself. You are acting in illness, and you can see your problem as a fight for your life and your potential in days ahead. Or, you will continue in suffering until you are compelled to do something about it. Here you will find many people who will be on your side to change.
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Korea is where I started becoming a problem drinker and also where I quit for over a year.
Its a tough place to be sober.
Its also a haven for other alcoholics, as is the expat life all across Asia.
What are you doing outside your job?
My year sober in Korea I spent far away from expats and bars, I really distanced myself from that culture, and from the older koreans who won't stop drinking if it kills them.
Its a tough place to be sober.
Its also a haven for other alcoholics, as is the expat life all across Asia.
What are you doing outside your job?
My year sober in Korea I spent far away from expats and bars, I really distanced myself from that culture, and from the older koreans who won't stop drinking if it kills them.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I'm sorry you're in this position, needshelp.
Not really sure what to advise except to say drinking on this will make things exponentially worse....
If thats glaringly self evident to you today, I apologise - but after decades of crash and burn myself, I'm no longer surprised where the addicted mind can go.
D
Not really sure what to advise except to say drinking on this will make things exponentially worse....
If thats glaringly self evident to you today, I apologise - but after decades of crash and burn myself, I'm no longer surprised where the addicted mind can go.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by kinzoku 
Korea is where I started becoming a problem drinker and also where I quit for over a year.
Its a tough place to be sober.
Its also a haven for other alcoholics, as is the expat life all across Asia.
What are you doing outside your job?
My year sober in Korea I spent far away from expats and bars, I really distanced myself from that culture, and from the older Koreans who won't stop drinking if it kills them.
Its a tough place to be sober.
Its also a haven for other alcoholics, as is the expat life all across Asia.
What are you doing outside your job?
My year sober in Korea I spent far away from expats and bars, I really distanced myself from that culture, and from the older Koreans who won't stop drinking if it kills them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
So I went into work and talked to them about the post for the job i'm at and it's for in Sept. I got ****** stressed and almost had a panic attack about the whole thing.
BUT I'm for sure done ******* drinking. This isn't even fun or how I want to feel.
No more hangovers and **** days due to booze! I'm on day 3 and happy as **** to still have a job and a place to live. I look forward to work tomorrow!!!!!
BUT I'm for sure done ******* drinking. This isn't even fun or how I want to feel.
No more hangovers and **** days due to booze! I'm on day 3 and happy as **** to still have a job and a place to live. I look forward to work tomorrow!!!!!
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,806
You dodged a bullet, it sounds like. I hope you can really kick the drinking. Maybe check around and see if there's an AA meeting you can get to? Sounds like you could use some face-to-face support.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by MLD51
You dodged a bullet, it sounds like. I hope you can really kick the drinking. Maybe check around and see if there's an AA meeting you can get to? Sounds like you could use some face-to-face support.
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
From personal experience, working/living/teaching in Asia can be very difficult for an alcoholic westerner.
It's everywhere. No open container laws, alcohol is in vending machines, it's just a daily part of life (meanwhile virtually everything else sans tobacco is a schedule 1 drug).
I worked in a business culture in northern Japan, and when I tried to "cut back" on my drinking once, and not attend a work drinking event on a Wednesday, the leadership and colleagues took it as a personal slight.
So I went, and I never missed another one.
Looking back, others (non alcoholics) seemed to handle the drinking culture a lot better by pacing their drinks slowly, drinking water, moderating -- and they didn't bring their drinking home with them. But there were also a lot of drunks, and even "moderate" drinkers found themselves locked up in binge drinking.
If you're going to be sober in this job and lifestyle, you're probably going to need to come out and say you have a health condition that means you can't drink anymore. You'll have to be firm, and then focus in on fitness/hobbies and other priorities. Learn the language -- take the official language proficiency tests. Get out and travel. Stay distracted. You might actually learn to love and appreciate the country you're in.
There are hotlines you can call, too. Look them up -- they specifically cater to expats who are alcoholics.
Not going to lie, this won't be easy for you.
Stay strong, keep posting.
It's everywhere. No open container laws, alcohol is in vending machines, it's just a daily part of life (meanwhile virtually everything else sans tobacco is a schedule 1 drug).
I worked in a business culture in northern Japan, and when I tried to "cut back" on my drinking once, and not attend a work drinking event on a Wednesday, the leadership and colleagues took it as a personal slight.
So I went, and I never missed another one.
Looking back, others (non alcoholics) seemed to handle the drinking culture a lot better by pacing their drinks slowly, drinking water, moderating -- and they didn't bring their drinking home with them. But there were also a lot of drunks, and even "moderate" drinkers found themselves locked up in binge drinking.
If you're going to be sober in this job and lifestyle, you're probably going to need to come out and say you have a health condition that means you can't drink anymore. You'll have to be firm, and then focus in on fitness/hobbies and other priorities. Learn the language -- take the official language proficiency tests. Get out and travel. Stay distracted. You might actually learn to love and appreciate the country you're in.
There are hotlines you can call, too. Look them up -- they specifically cater to expats who are alcoholics.
Not going to lie, this won't be easy for you.
Stay strong, keep posting.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Glad you still have your job!
I've taught overseas a couple of times and was an active participant in the drinking culture. I tried to stay sober during my last job, but it was rough. It's possible, though I think it's a different set of challenges than staying sober in your home country.
I would definitely suggest AA if there's a meeting in your area. I'm not religious at all, either. But the meetings can vary depending on the local culture. It can be a good source of support, so maybe keep it as an option?
I would love to be in Korea! I think the suggestions above to really explore the culture, country, and language are good ones. One of my regrets about my time as an ex-pat was that I wasted so much of it drinking. I wish I had made better use of my time.
But definitely hang out here as much as you need to!
Best wishes to you!
I've taught overseas a couple of times and was an active participant in the drinking culture. I tried to stay sober during my last job, but it was rough. It's possible, though I think it's a different set of challenges than staying sober in your home country.
I would definitely suggest AA if there's a meeting in your area. I'm not religious at all, either. But the meetings can vary depending on the local culture. It can be a good source of support, so maybe keep it as an option?
I would love to be in Korea! I think the suggestions above to really explore the culture, country, and language are good ones. One of my regrets about my time as an ex-pat was that I wasted so much of it drinking. I wish I had made better use of my time.
But definitely hang out here as much as you need to!
Best wishes to you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by CupofJoe
I would love to be in Korea! I think the suggestions above to really explore the culture, country, and language are good ones. One of my regrets about my time as an ex-pat was that I wasted so much of it drinking. I wish I had made better use of my time.
. I still had an amazing/life-changing experience, lifelong friendships made (and a lot of crazy karaoke/drinking nights and capsule hotel stays). But I wonder sometimes how that energy could have been spent on more academic or cultural endeavors.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,055
Originally Posted by needshelp111
Not into AA .
Here's a couple good threads to join:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7143141 (24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 435)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7134833
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