gettingsmarter

Highercall why delete your profile. Keep it around just incase. You never know.

360shoes

If you ever feel you need to come back, folks will be here. They were for me with open arms.

DriGuy

This is an odd thread. It's not a bad thread. It just seems kind of odd to me.

nez

After 5 years of total abstinence, this
was me.

For the next 1 1/2 years, I gave it my best effort ever at moderation. For me the results could be described as dismal at best. I was not at my worst bottom or was I? I was in mental hell because I was not free. I was a slave, doing what I knew, deep down inside, I didn't want to do, drinking.

I now have 15 years without a drink but not abstinence. Merriam Webster defines abstinence as "the practice of not doing or having something that is wanted or enjoyable".

Drinking for me was not wanted nor enjoyable, so it didn't take abstinence. It took work, time, and continuing to move forward to get to a point to were I could make the choices that my soul wanted. I am now at a point were those choices are like breathing, they are second nature.

I am free, not abstaining. I was worth it!

Delilah1

Moderation certainly didn't work for me. I have three plus years sober, and SR is a big part of it. There are forums for moderation if that's the route you're planning to take, but talking about drinking, and how it works for you in moderation wouldn't be helpful to those on this forum working on sobriety.

I hope you find what works best for you.

Kaneda8888

nez

Just what I needed to read. I have 5+ years. I have no desire to drink but there is the annoying wistful 'idea' that pops into my head once in a while as to whether I could 'theoretically' handle one drink. Bang ! You just shot that idea dead. Thank you.

Edit: oops, sorry to hijack thread.

HC, I wish you all the best in your journey. However, I agree with the others in that moderation is essentially dancing with the devil. If you practice abstinence for long enough, then as nez says it no longer is abstinence since the desire for drinking is lost.

sydneyman

WaterOx

I agree with those who have found this to be an odd post. If you're anything like me, you'd merely skulk off without saying a word to anyone- only to reappear later with your tail between your legs, trying your best not to call too much attention to the fact that you'd been drinking.

In any case, keep your account. Why not! You can always come back if you want.

needshelp111

I'd say that trying to drink alcohol in moderation for anyone who has had massive problems in their life is not a good idea.
We have shown that we can't be trusted with just 1 or 2 because it leads to down the path to hell again.
It's like walking down an ice-covered ramp with slippers on for us. Just one bad day and down we go.
For me, It's all done. No more of waking up wondering if my job will fire me bc I took a bs day off to drink.

kinzoku

I have felt this way too. I think this post is getting so many responses because it resonates on a deep level with all acoholics.

I hope you decide to come back.

It feels really rough but helpful when a person does what they've done here to you at times which is show you with your own posts how your AV is...well.. blowing a load of hot air.

Kdon853

least

For me, total abstinence was easier than trying to moderate. And I no longer have the alcohol related problems I used to have.

I am quite happy in sobriety. I don't miss drinking at all.

DriGuy

When I first read "constantly searching for an easier softer way," I immediately recognized myself chasing the goal of moderation, but I could not even pass as a non-alcoholic. In retrospect, there is absolutely nothing that's easier or softer about moderation .

In fact, I see that quote from the big book as a paradoxical irony, because I did eventually find that illusive "easier softer way." It was total abstinence. I had been looking for the very thing I was running from, but was too blinded to see it.

Robbie64

Can I just ask: what is a "pink cloud"? It's mentioned in Highercall's post and I've seen it mentioned by other posters too in other threads.

Jim1958

Moderation did not work for me. Mainly because there is no moderation. One drink and I want more. I don't think anything will work for me but stopping all the way. Once I was looking for excuses to drink, now I look for activities where there is no alcohol. You can always keep your account on SR. It is a great resource to help you. It has helped me!

biminiblue

It's a feeling of euphoria that comes in early sobriety due to the brain starting to function normally after the acute withdrawal phase.

For me it hit at around 90 days. I felt so good I felt like I was floating 20 feet off the ground. I totally understood that term when that happened.

It doesn't last, it's just a fleeting thing. I remember one particular day when it was really pronounced. At least, that's my definition. I suppose some people have extremely better lives in every way. Mine just got incrementally better with more sober time but that event was definitely biological, not psychological.

Robbie64

^
thanks for the explanation biminiblue.

Doris47

Has any one heard from HC I'm kinda worried about him 😱

Evoo

It doesn't seem too odd to me.

I kind of did something similar, started posting here for help with "moderation management" 10 years ago, and when I was rightfully shut down -- I got defensive. Even angry.

"Those people are alcoholics. Part of the cult of abstaining." I even used an episode of South Park that lampoons the AA crowd to justify my indignation.

Like I said above, I did "figure out" moderation (for the most part). But it's a difficult and dangerous path for an alcoholic.

Sobriety delivers what alcohol promises. <-- not sure where I saw that, but I love it.

noaddedsugar

Highercall I hope you are okay and you don't delete you account.

Some really good advice from people here and please know it's coming from a place of concern and not judgement.

As others have said do what you've got to do.. there'll always be support here for you x