I just want it to end
 

I have been on and off here for years. So much of my life has changed and it's not for the better.

All I want to do is just stop drinking. I always thought I could be one of those who could have a few but I cant.

I didnt think it was a problem as I dont drink everyday but recentl I can't even get passed the 2 day mark without craving a drink. It needs to stop. I have had enough of it. If not for me then at least for my children and partner.

My life is hard enough without stupid alcohol in it as well.
Nobody knows I have an issue, they know I like to drink so for me to give it up is going to be like flashing lights for people. All I want to say is look I've had enough and I'm happy without it but I know they will question me.

My mum was an alcoholic and I'm looking like I am headed if not already on that path. I dont drink through the day I drink on an evening. But I dont want my children going down this path.

Please please help me I am here and I am needing support. I will be checking in several times a day to get through this.

thanks for reading x

We're all here for you ZombieGirl.

It feels horrendously complicated but the actual mechanics of not drinking are pretty simple. Do not ingest alcohol - it's the elarnign how to do tht while living our lives and still remaining happy about our choice that takes the work and needs the support.

Why not join the Class of March support thread?

D

I will. I used to speak to you a lot in the past d.
does this site have an app so I can just open it up for support a bit more easier then logging on all the time?

Hi ZG,
I was always the drinker in my family too. However, you will probably find apart from the odd comment that most people really don't notice or care all that much.

I see you've been a member for many years, like me. I'm still early on in sobriety after a long stint sober in 2012-2016. That was the best time for me and I aim to be back there.

You can do this. Keep in simple. Don't buy alcohol, don't have any in the house, don't go to pubs. Take each day one at a time and don't drink. Do AAA, AVRT, SMART, SR whatever it takes and what suits you. But don't drink. You can do it for you and for your kids.

I hope you give sobriety a real chance. :hug: It takes changes but it's worth the effort. :)

Hey zombie. I'm the same as you. Ive read this forum for years and from the UK also. Ups and downs - relate to you totally! Done a few sober stints. Felt really good. I have young children that I wish I could be better for - maybe we can both focus on them? If your feeling down drop me a line!

Welcome back!

Don’t worry about what other people think when you quit drinking. Not one person has asked me about it. lol. I am open to talk about it but no one asks so I don’t volunteer information. It is kind of funny.

If you are really ready to quit, it won't matter what other people think. Set aside that fear of being judged. You don't have to go around telling people anything you don't want to. I told pretty much everyone I knew I was having serious problems with alcohol and needed to quit. I told a few people close to me that I'm an alcoholic. As time went on I became more open about being an alcoholic, but you don't have to explain anything to anyone if you don't want to. And really - very few people really notice or care. Only those close to you will care at all, and I'm betting they will be supportive and understanding.

thank you xxxx

I don't think anyone answered your question about the app. Yes, there is one that you can use, a lot of people do. Anything that keeps you in touch here on SR is going to be helpful to you.

The primary way to face the problem of drinking is not to do so and to plan on what you will do when your mind is telling you that it sounds like it's okay to do it. As Dee said, it's really pretty simple, it's just not easy at times. I hope that you find the right path that is going to give you sustenance for being sober, it is doable. For me it has been a combination of strategies to figure out what really works for me in various situations, but support from others has been a big part of that.

Peace.

Hi ZG

we don't have an app anymore I'm sorry.
The site owners recommend instead using the mobile view for phone users.

D

support to you ZG

Zombiegirl, you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are not drinking. It's a personal decision and you know, for you, it's the right one. There is nothing more you need to say, other than, 'No, thanks'.

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery again.

Hi zombiegirl, it sounds like you’ve had enough, which is a great start! I had several relapses before finally getting sober. What it took for me was really focusing on changing myself - my thoughts, habits and behaviors. Therapy was tremendously valuable and I also continue to do yoga, meditstion, running and exercise. These have all replaced drinking behaviors and I am so much happier.

Have you thought about a long term sober plan for yourself?

I highly recommend the book, Naked Mind by Annie Grace. She also has a 30 day alcohol experience to which you can Google to find online. I love her! I also loved reading Russell Brands book, Recovery, Freedom from our addictions. There’s a lot of great reading material on addiction and recovery.

No need to explain why you aren’t drinking. People can wonder and be curious all they want. That’s none of my business. But if you have to say something, why not “I feel better without it.” I so,etimes say “it doesn’t agree with me anymore.” All true without giving away your life story.

What Anna said here and I will add that people get used to it. I promise. It’s like changing your hair; some people notice, some people don’t, and after awhile they forget that your hair was ever any different.

Hi Zombiegirl
There is a setting in the log in to remember you. If you choose it it just keeps you logged in. All I have to do now is come to the site and I'm already logged in.

Or at least I don't have to enter my info everytime.

Brill thanks guys.
I found a beer with 0.0% in so im hoping that will get me through any tough days as a placebo.

I picked my partner up from a pub last night and had a coke. Today will be hard as I always find day 2 the worst xxxx

I hope you don't think I'm being patronising or interfering but I would be very cautious about NA beer.

Do you really like the taste? There are so many delicious soft drinks out there. I only drank wine or beer or gin for the effects, not the taste. For me, i would just be annoyed that I wasn't getting the effects of the beer. I would also question why I needed or wanted to drink NA beer ? Am I pretending to still be drinking? It would only be a matter of time before I wanted the real thing.

I'd also seriously keep out of pubs in early days. even now I would not go in a pub. I do not see the point in putting myself in temptation's way or making things harder for me.

I hope you read this in the spirit it is meant :)

I like the taste. It seems to help me past the craving.

My partner doesn't know what I am doing only that I have stopped because I want to lose weight. I dont want to admit to him that I have a problem. That is my issue.

I'm craving badly today but trying to ignore it.

Still sober!!!!!!! I'm rocking it!!!!

Congrats - you go, girl! Stay in touch!

If you make sobriety your number one priority....above your job, your friends, other relationships, your marriage, you name it: sobriety first; then when the craving comes it will feel bizarre to have a drink, since you have made it your first goal, first priority, first task: to avoid picking up a drink.

All other things lose importance to that: not picking up a drink. Craving? “Well, too bad, because my job is to stop drinking, so why would I drink when my only task is to avoid it?” Partner drinking? Again remind yourself, “all I have to do right now is not drink. That’s it. I’ll find ways to communicate this to the ones I love.” Friends drinking? Remind yourself, “gosh it’s too bad they don’t like it when I don’t drink, but it is what it is, and my number one job right now is to not drink, learn how to communicate to everyone that I am grateful to be sober, and keep sobriety at the top of the list.”

I lived, ate, and breathed sobriety for at least six months. I read about it all day. I cut back on work. I cut back on all stress. I avoided drinking situations. I carefully paid attention to my thoughts and where they were leading me. Were my thoughts leading me to sobriety, or to drinking?

Are you making it your first task? If not, then yes, it’s easy to give into craving.

There has never been a time in my life when I or my situation did not improve by reaching out for help.

Hope all is going okay for you Zombiegirl :wavey: