sweetichick

I have been drinking again. Due to a large bill I don't have enough money for food and alcohol. So I have to choose put myself through withdrawals again or live on Jam and bread again. It's not a difficult choice while I am buzzed. Tomorrow morning I need to stick to my resolve. Day 1 is the hard bit. Sorry for not posting or replying to anyone. Just wanted to keep the bad news to myself.

JJ9

You can do this Sweeti! It is all up to you!

Bekindalways

"Sorry for not posting or replying to anyone. Just wanted to keep the bad news to myself."

^^^^ I so get this feeling . . . . well, come on back to SR and make some good news happen.

Twistedthistle

You can do this. I feel your pain. Its only day 1 for me.

Dee74

Hi sweetichick,

I'm sorry you're drinking again. and sorry you're low on funds.
Outside of rehab (which I know is something you 've said you can't do) the only other suggestions I have is to post here every day whether you want to or not, and before you cave into more drinking.

Join a monthly group and stick with it for that month..

I'd also work out a way to get to as many AA meetings as you can each week. If you can;t physically maybe online is an option?

A lot of effort I know - but honestly effort (and effort into changing) is the only thing that's gonna get you out of this cycle.

D

ReadyAtLast

It's great to see you back.

I hope you can come up with a solid plan to get and stay sober this time.

Just not drinking because you have no money doesn't really work, as you know from previous attempts. Once you get money you start drinking again.

I hope this can be your last day 1. Welcome back

AnvilheadII

what are you willing to do different in order to not drink ever again?

Midwest1981

Good decision. I am glad you are back to posting.

Helianthus

How did therapy at the rehab center go? What did they suggest you do?

WhoDeyPI

Somehow I always made sure I had enough funds for alcohol, even if it meant not paying another bill. How pathetic, I was. Glad you're back on a sober path. Things will get better for you all around!

Hawkeye13

what's up sweeti? Did you choose bread and jam or detox?

Let us know and get some support whatever the choice.

Hevyn

Thinking of you, Sweeti. I wish you would get free this time.

Coldfusion

Hi Sweetichick!

I have been following your story for a while... I hope you take the steps to make this the beginning of a permanent recovery!

Anna

Sweeti, you don't need to keep going through this cycle.

jryan19982

Before the actions that lead to bad news you need to reach out here or reach out to someone who you've met in AA. My first meeting they passed around a sheet for me and all the guys wrote their names and numbers... I imagine it works like that in al AA groups. I'm not sure what else new anyone can say. Sobriety is a lot of work. If it was easy as flipping a switch we wouldn't have the need for groups like this or AA...

What are you going to change this time around so that you can be more successful?

sweetichick

Thanks Dee because of your post I went back to Aa online. They were really helpful.

sweetichick

Hey RAL. You are right every time I get money I go back to drinking.Now my car needs servicing. I have dug my way into such a pit, it will take a while to dig myself out. Thanks for your support.

Ayers

Glad to see you posting again.

Sweeti, I can only hope you see the light soon. You are going to have to do some heavy lifting before you get any rewards. And this is for life, but it all starts at one hour, one day, one week .... And all of us are going/ have gone through that . No one gets spared .

I agree with other posters that not drinking now just because you don't have money - is not the answer. You have to stick it out - even when you do have the money.

You really need to take all the help you can get now. Stick to AA online - glad you're doing that - and stay close here on SR.

And carry on not giving up.

Robert88

Welcome back

sweetichick

Well day 2 has arrived. Feeling worse than day 1 because I woke up so early. My groceries are being delivered today. Turns out I miscalculated my money and have money for alcohol now. But I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I am slowly dying. So I am staying with sobriety.