Struggling, but not how I expected to.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Glad you're feeling better today. Nice that you have a boss who knows what's going on.
I would love a part-time job like that! Sounds like fun. If I thought my little town could support another coffee/tea shop, I'd open one. But sadly, the one we have struggles as it is. I'd love a tea shop with really good tea, made properly. We don't have that.
I would love a part-time job like that! Sounds like fun. If I thought my little town could support another coffee/tea shop, I'd open one. But sadly, the one we have struggles as it is. I'd love a tea shop with really good tea, made properly. We don't have that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
Originally Posted by MLD51 
Glad you're feeling better today. Nice that you have a boss who knows what's going on.
I would love a part-time job like that! Sounds like fun. If I thought my little town could support another coffee/tea shop, I'd open one. But sadly, the one we have struggles as it is. I'd love a tea shop with really good tea, made properly. We don't have that.
I would love a part-time job like that! Sounds like fun. If I thought my little town could support another coffee/tea shop, I'd open one. But sadly, the one we have struggles as it is. I'd love a tea shop with really good tea, made properly. We don't have that.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Meditation, understanding that I don't have to control my thoughts, I just have to stop letting them control me, acceptance of what I can and cannot change and compassion for others has really helped me with racing constant thoughts. I used to fill my time with either drinking or working or both (if I worked from home) as I did not like to be left with my thoughts. I became a workaholic and an alcoholic and nothing much else. A lot has changed in the last 9 months.
I stopped feeding my mind negativity or darkness, for example I used to always have the crime channels on in the background if I worked from home or was pottering around the house. Subconciously I was feeding my mind the message that the world was full of bad people and murder and child killers, arsonists, robbers, mafia, drug dealers and so on. I can't tell you how much of a positive impact it has had on me just stopping that one habit. I never put these channels on anymore and I don't feel so heavy and disconnected or frustrated with the world. I am much more positive. Such a simple change.
I have also had a pretty highly paid corporate career for the past 15-20 years and through sobriety I realised that it wasn't making me truly happy. The money I earned I spent on things to fill the void in my soul, the void created by being a workaholic and alcoholic which I used to facilitate a life dedicated to not dealing with the root cause of my problems or inner unhappiness. I used to tell myself that I carried on thinking about work in my free time and wanted to get ahead the next day was something I enjoyed, but the reality was I used it as an excuse, an avoidance tactic so I didn't have to actually take a leap and commit to doing other things in my life, mainly out of fear. I knew I was good at my job and I the validation I got from it became addictive till the only way I knew how to feel good was to work harder to get more validation. I no longer need as much external validation as I used to so again this really shifted my view on my career and what I needed in life. A few weeks ago I closed down my company, took a low level 9-5 with not great pay 15 minutes from my house. Best decision I have made for my sobriety. I now work to live not live to work and it's a great headspace to be in.
On the why are we here..what is my purpose level I personally don't think that there is any reason why were here and we have no actual purpose, were just DNA and atoms created by the natural cycle of life. Some people find that depressing but for me it's just what I believe. Now, whilst I say the above that doesn't mean my life has no purpose, I choose what my purpose is and I don't go looking to scientists or philosiphers or religion or anyone to get them to tell me what my purpose is or why I am here. They can only offer conjecture and personal opinion as I don't believe there is an answer to that question, well not an answer that someone else can answer for you as it's a question only you can answer for yourself.
Dunno if the above makes any sense to anyone lol, not always the best at expressing myself! x
I stopped feeding my mind negativity or darkness, for example I used to always have the crime channels on in the background if I worked from home or was pottering around the house. Subconciously I was feeding my mind the message that the world was full of bad people and murder and child killers, arsonists, robbers, mafia, drug dealers and so on. I can't tell you how much of a positive impact it has had on me just stopping that one habit. I never put these channels on anymore and I don't feel so heavy and disconnected or frustrated with the world. I am much more positive. Such a simple change.
I have also had a pretty highly paid corporate career for the past 15-20 years and through sobriety I realised that it wasn't making me truly happy. The money I earned I spent on things to fill the void in my soul, the void created by being a workaholic and alcoholic which I used to facilitate a life dedicated to not dealing with the root cause of my problems or inner unhappiness. I used to tell myself that I carried on thinking about work in my free time and wanted to get ahead the next day was something I enjoyed, but the reality was I used it as an excuse, an avoidance tactic so I didn't have to actually take a leap and commit to doing other things in my life, mainly out of fear. I knew I was good at my job and I the validation I got from it became addictive till the only way I knew how to feel good was to work harder to get more validation. I no longer need as much external validation as I used to so again this really shifted my view on my career and what I needed in life. A few weeks ago I closed down my company, took a low level 9-5 with not great pay 15 minutes from my house. Best decision I have made for my sobriety. I now work to live not live to work and it's a great headspace to be in.
On the why are we here..what is my purpose level I personally don't think that there is any reason why were here and we have no actual purpose, were just DNA and atoms created by the natural cycle of life. Some people find that depressing but for me it's just what I believe. Now, whilst I say the above that doesn't mean my life has no purpose, I choose what my purpose is and I don't go looking to scientists or philosiphers or religion or anyone to get them to tell me what my purpose is or why I am here. They can only offer conjecture and personal opinion as I don't believe there is an answer to that question, well not an answer that someone else can answer for you as it's a question only you can answer for yourself.
Dunno if the above makes any sense to anyone lol, not always the best at expressing myself! x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,159
Originally Posted by WhoDeyPI
I'm mentally in a much better place today. The boss told me to take today off, but...here I am...at the office trying to make things happen. No worries, I'll take Friday off instead, long weekend means I can go to my "free" happy place...the mountains. In the midst of my emotional breakdown at the office last night, my boss wanted to know what the heck was going on with my mind, and I just hid it and didn't say anything. Then when I got home, I sent him an email trying to explain things the best I know how. He knows about my battle with alcoholism, and was one of the only people to see me when I was in the hospital with my bum liver....so he gets it. Everything will be okay.
In the meantime...I kind of went the other direction with the "work less" thing.....I applied for a PT Saturday/Sunday job at the local tea shop. Just for fun, and a new experience. I'm there all the time anyway, might as well get paid!
In the meantime...I kind of went the other direction with the "work less" thing.....I applied for a PT Saturday/Sunday job at the local tea shop. Just for fun, and a new experience. I'm there all the time anyway, might as well get paid!
Getting sober was just one thing we did that we got right. The other challenges will still be there, and I think we will handle them a tad better, but not as saints or supermen. And we won't be running to the bottle when everything doesn't go our way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
Originally Posted by MantaLady
Meditation, understanding that I don't have to control my thoughts, I just have to stop letting them control me, acceptance of what I can and cannot change and compassion for others has really helped me with racing constant thoughts. I used to fill my time with either drinking or working or both (if I worked from home) as I did not like to be left with my thoughts. I became a workaholic and an alcoholic and nothing much else. A lot has changed in the last 9 months.
I stopped feeding my mind negativity or darkness, for example I used to always have the crime channels on in the background if I worked from home or was pottering around the house. Subconciously I was feeding my mind the message that the world was full of bad people and murder and child killers, arsonists, robbers, mafia, drug dealers and so on. I can't tell you how much of a positive impact it has had on me just stopping that one habit. I never put these channels on anymore and I don't feel so heavy and disconnected or frustrated with the world. I am much more positive. Such a simple change.
I have also had a pretty highly paid corporate career for the past 15-20 years and through sobriety I realised that it wasn't making me truly happy. The money I earned I spent on things to fill the void in my soul, the void created by being a workaholic and alcoholic which I used to facilitate a life dedicated to not dealing with the root cause of my problems or inner unhappiness. I used to tell myself that I carried on thinking about work in my free time and wanted to get ahead the next day was something I enjoyed, but the reality was I used it as an excuse, an avoidance tactic so I didn't have to actually take a leap and commit to doing other things in my life, mainly out of fear. I knew I was good at my job and I the validation I got from it became addictive till the only way I knew how to feel good was to work harder to get more validation. I no longer need as much external validation as I used to so again this really shifted my view on my career and what I needed in life. A few weeks ago I closed down my company, took a low level 9-5 with not great pay 15 minutes from my house. Best decision I have made for my sobriety. I now work to live not live to work and it's a great headspace to be in.
On the why are we here..what is my purpose level I personally don't think that there is any reason why were here and we have no actual purpose, were just DNA and atoms created by the natural cycle of life. Some people find that depressing but for me it's just what I believe. Now, whilst I say the above that doesn't mean my life has no purpose, I choose what my purpose is and I don't go looking to scientists or philosiphers or religion or anyone to get them to tell me what my purpose is or why I am here. They can only offer conjecture and personal opinion as I don't believe there is an answer to that question, well not an answer that someone else can answer for you as it's a question only you can answer for yourself.
Dunno if the above makes any sense to anyone lol, not always the best at expressing myself! x
I stopped feeding my mind negativity or darkness, for example I used to always have the crime channels on in the background if I worked from home or was pottering around the house. Subconciously I was feeding my mind the message that the world was full of bad people and murder and child killers, arsonists, robbers, mafia, drug dealers and so on. I can't tell you how much of a positive impact it has had on me just stopping that one habit. I never put these channels on anymore and I don't feel so heavy and disconnected or frustrated with the world. I am much more positive. Such a simple change.
I have also had a pretty highly paid corporate career for the past 15-20 years and through sobriety I realised that it wasn't making me truly happy. The money I earned I spent on things to fill the void in my soul, the void created by being a workaholic and alcoholic which I used to facilitate a life dedicated to not dealing with the root cause of my problems or inner unhappiness. I used to tell myself that I carried on thinking about work in my free time and wanted to get ahead the next day was something I enjoyed, but the reality was I used it as an excuse, an avoidance tactic so I didn't have to actually take a leap and commit to doing other things in my life, mainly out of fear. I knew I was good at my job and I the validation I got from it became addictive till the only way I knew how to feel good was to work harder to get more validation. I no longer need as much external validation as I used to so again this really shifted my view on my career and what I needed in life. A few weeks ago I closed down my company, took a low level 9-5 with not great pay 15 minutes from my house. Best decision I have made for my sobriety. I now work to live not live to work and it's a great headspace to be in.
On the why are we here..what is my purpose level I personally don't think that there is any reason why were here and we have no actual purpose, were just DNA and atoms created by the natural cycle of life. Some people find that depressing but for me it's just what I believe. Now, whilst I say the above that doesn't mean my life has no purpose, I choose what my purpose is and I don't go looking to scientists or philosiphers or religion or anyone to get them to tell me what my purpose is or why I am here. They can only offer conjecture and personal opinion as I don't believe there is an answer to that question, well not an answer that someone else can answer for you as it's a question only you can answer for yourself.
Dunno if the above makes any sense to anyone lol, not always the best at expressing myself! x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 127
WhoDey - I can't wait to read your book. I'm already gaining so much from your thoughtful and brutally honest posts here.
And this, from MLD - says it all (at least for me)...and I hope I use the quote function correctly here...
And this, from MLD - says it all (at least for me)...and I hope I use the quote function correctly here...
Originally Posted by MLD51
I think what it boils down to is this - we are here just to be here for each other, really. Human connection is the name of the game.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 500
Originally Posted by Runswithspoons
WhoDey - I can't wait to read your book. I'm already gaining so much from your thoughtful and brutally honest posts here.
And this, from MLD - says it all (at least for me)...and I hope I use the quote function correctly here...
And this, from MLD - says it all (at least for me)...and I hope I use the quote function correctly here...
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