Doris47

I've messed up, I've been wrestling all day with the thoughts of coming on here and telling everyone. I've
Spent most of today crying because i came so far and threw it away.
Snowy, driguy, taooo, I'm sorry 😭 I know you have been rooting for me. I feel like I've let you down as well.
I didn't drink today. And I'm back on the bus.
I feel like your all my mates, so I've had to be honest with you all. At first I wasn't going to tell you, because I felt so ashamed 😥
I don't know why I drank, but I do know I'm gonna to try, try and try again until I beat this.
All this has started me crying again.
🙏💖

least

Many of us screwed up getting sober. Try again and give it your all.

ScottFromWI

Glad you came back Doris, some people never do. And glad you aren't drinking today either. Isolating yourself is exactly what your addiction wants you to do - so stick around here on SR. Have you considered trying to find some local support too? By that I mean perhaps a recovery group, addiction counselor, doctor, etc? Sometimes its very helpful to have in-person support.

I want to point out one comment you made - you said "I don't know why I drank". If you learn anything from this I'd hope you could try to focus on that sentence. It's not really possible to know "why" we are alcoholics - we have to simply accept it as an unchangeable fact. But you can look back at why you decided to pick up again this last time. By that I mean - were you not following your plan? Or maybe you didn't have a plan to begin with?

The main thing moving forward is to learn how or what you can do when the next craving/stress event happens - because it's not a matter of if - it's a matter of when.

Guener

It comes to pass that sometimes we miss our goals along the way and have to begin anew, and that is how it has to be now for you. You have cleared the air by being forthright in what has happened. Nobody here wishes anything else but that you learn how you may have picked up and how to avoid doing so again.

Anna

Doris, I'm sorry that you had a relapse. It's good that you came back and are ready to do this again. I think it's really important that you take action by adding something to your recovery plan so this doesn't happen again. This is the time to move forward and know you can do this.

2muchpain

Doris, there are many things I admire about you. You are clearly someone who really wants to get sober and am willing to put in the work to get there. I admire your strength and determination to succeed. I also admire your willingness to come here and let people know how you are doing, and being open minded to all the support that you have been given. Above all, you never seem to ever feel sorry for yourself and blame others for your drinking. You always take responsibility for both your drinking and your sobriety. Because of all this, I have total faith in your ability to get through this setback and continue your journey to sobriety. We all make mistakes Doris. Your gonna do just fine. John

enginear26

Hugs Doris Hang in here!

Taooo

Quitting is a process, all you did is hit a speed bump along the way. You tripped over and made a mistake.


But look at the amazing progress you made along the way. Relapsing and messing up is a natural part of quitting, what matters now is that you don't punish yourself or give up.

Over the time scale you lasted you messed up once right? Over 20 days thats a 190% improvement. You did amazing work, be compassionate and forgive yourself. It's a sickness and you in recovery, it's going to win occasionally but you can beat it on the long scale until eventually it's gone. Maybe try and figure out the trigger for this recent relapse?

ReadyAtLast

HI Doris,
No sorrys required. It's great to have you back. I'd agree with the others though and learn from this -why you drank. Were you out with drinkers/at home alone.
Sad, angry happy etc. Maybe learn what triggered you and learn from it.

MantaLady

You don’t owe anyone anything Doris except yourself. You owe it to yourself to be kind to you, to be forgiving of you and show yourself some compassion. I did the exact same thing as you on my 30 day sober date last year at the end of May, devastated and disappointed, full of guilt and shame doesn’t begin to describe how I felt.

As they say, it’s not over till the end and if it’s not the end it’s not over. Dust yourself off, learn from it and try again. Don’t measure yourself against how many times you fall but by how many times you get back up! You can do this, I have faith in you. xx

Atlast9999

Suzieq17

You came here, told us, now start again.

This isn’t easy, but I’m rooting for you and being sober is awesome!! You can do this.

Hevyn

Doris, I did the very same thing early on. I learned from it - and when I got back on track I felt stronger & more determined. You didn't go off on a long binge - you came here to tell what happened. That's a good sign. We are with you, and will always be.

Dee74

I'm glad you're back Doris

Think abotu what you can add to your toolbix this time - it might be a Face to face meeting based approach like AA (or SMART or Lifering), or a book oriented approach like Rational Recovery (or Allen Carr or Jason Vale or Annie Grace)...

it might be a doctor or counsellor route, or even rehab (inpatient or outpatient),.

It could be little bit from some or all those things.

whatever you do tho - fight - post here before you drink. Thats the way you win

D

Pippo

Relapses are part and parcel. Nothing to feel bad about.

fini

hi Doris,
yeah, that baffling not-really-knowing-why...i did it oodles of times. until i didn’t.
and doing things differently has definitely been part of not going back there.
way to go on not repeating it today and showing up with honesty!

CupofJoe

Glad you came back! Please don't beat yourself up. You're not the first person to relapse and you won't be the last. Just keep moving forward.

See what else you can do to stay sober this time. But don't give up.

I struggled and relapsed quite a bit, so I understand. But I got sober and so can you.

You can do this.

dafunbra

So very happy you came back, Doris. That and admitting what happened were the hardest parts for me. The first time I went back out it was for years and came back under a different handle because I couldn't remember my login info. Give yourself credit for how far you did make it. And don't give yourself a pass, which I don't think you are, but don't beat yourself up too badly, either. As has been said, this is a process.

sydneyman

ReadyAtLast

How are you doing today Doris?