360shoes

First, I find it hard to believe I still have friends. Second, I'm even more surprised they rarely drink and put up with my drunk ass all these years.

Since I was a closet drinker, they don't really know the scope of how bad it was so unless I ask them for support they won't know I need them.

Getting honest with them has been hard. I would have preferred to just keep this a secret but if I did that I wouldn't have their support when I need it. Learning to ask for help has been a big lesson I have to and am learning.

Not a one of them would not support me. I am so grateful for that. I went to a 8 year olds birthday party yesterday and told my friend that this may be hard for me so if I have to leave early please don't take it personal. It was at one of those restaurants with an arcade and a bar. Basically a casino for kids.

So instead of just sitting there all nervous being around people I don't know, I decided I should just be helpful and be gift organizer and coat hanger. After about 30 minutes, I was just fine.

I ate chicken nuggets and drank pink lemonade just like the 8 year olds. And not one adult was drinking alcohol. Not one. I would have shown up drunk and been to the bar about 4 times before. If I would have shown up at all.

Sharing what I consider my weakness with my "normal" friends has been one of the best things I have done. I'm learning that I am not all weak. Just when it comes to alcohol. They still see all my good qualities even though I have forgot about them.

It's nice to have people who see the real you even when you are having a hard time seeing it.

tekink

For me being honest is very important. It gets easier the more I open up about things.

Ghostlight1

Wow. That is great stuff. I needed to hear that today, so thanks.
And great job at the party. I'm so glad you have your friends support.

360shoes

I was just thinking why wouldn't people think it's easy if you don't tell them it's hard. They aren't mind readers. We weren't made to do everything alone. I need them. I need to be honest with them. That starts with me being honest with myself and not seeing every problem I have me being the only one to fix it.

I need people like me for support and I need people not like me too. It's a different kind of support I think. When it comes from people who don't have a alcohol problem it feels different. I know you all understand all the details. They don't. Which I'm glad they don't. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy if I had one. This kind of support is more about my ability to be honest in a kind way. To them and myself.

Anna

You're lucky to have such supportive friends.

MindfulMan

My close friends visited me in rehab, and all we're shocked at how bad my drinking had been. We would have wine tasting parties, I would drink relatively moderately, and stop well before I left so I would be legal to drive.

What they didn't know was that I'd be agitated and Shakey on the drive, so I would pound vodka when I got home until I passed out.

Dee74

I'm really glad you reached out and found support Shoes. That was overwhelmingly my experience too

D