Choosing Life

Old 02-27-2019, 12:24 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Feb 2019
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Choosing Life

Its Day 4 for me. Iím feeling great and not waking up during the night from liver pain, dehydration and withdrawal shakes in the mornings. I also have had issues with really bad unexplained bruising all over and have been talking to the doctor about my heart and liver. My mind is clearer and I feel positive.

Ive been here before tho. Itís the two week mark Iím worried about. The issue for me was that I didnít (and still really havenít) dealt with why Iím an alcoholic. Thatís the hard part I think and the long road ahead.

Ive found that writing down all my reasons, why I did drink, and why I donít want to, then to do lists of fun things to do during the week, then distraction to do lists and check them off helps (and celebrate the small wins with a positive comment - like Iíd say to a friend )

Having support forums and apps, audible books, meditation apps for bed time, sipping a diet soft drink/juice when Iíd normally drink helps. Eating good food, doctors help and a psychologist for the long term plan.

The other issue is my husband is an alcoholic too and that will be challenge, not that Iíll be tempted, but to remember that conversations/behaviour/attitudes are different on an intoxicated/straight level. Heís also an enabler and wants me to be Ďhappyí. So that will be a challenge to !always! be strong. I donít party, but he likes to have groups over for drinks. I managed to stay straight on my last quit. He was encouraging me to drink too though. Itís hard in front of a group of people. I stayed strong though.

Im also giving up smoking at the same time. Double whammy. Iím feeling and thinking positive though.

Thank you you all for your support
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Old 02-27-2019, 12:46 PM
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Good job on Day 4!

I agree with you that it's so important to deal with the underlying issues of our addiction. For me, that was so very hard to face head on after spending years burying my feelings. But, it will be worthwhile for you to do this. Planning ahead, as you are, is also a very good idea.
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Old 02-27-2019, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Sparklife View Post
The issue for me was that I didn’t (and still really haven’t) dealt with why I’m an alcoholic. That’s the hard part I think and the long road ahead.
For me, this wasn't an important factor in giving up alcohol. The fact is, I was an alcoholic because I couldn't always control how much I drank. The only solution to that was to not drink. Sometimes I think people obsess over WHY they drink so that they can somehow magically solve the problem and return to drinking like a normal person. I'm not saying that's why you want to know and I'm not dismissing that problems in people's lives can cause them to pick up a drink, but finding out the reason behind it (if there even is one beyond simply being an alcoholic) will never change the fact that you are one.

I put my energy into not drinking rather than into trying to work out why it ever happened in the first place.
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Old 02-27-2019, 06:39 PM
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Thank you both so much, I guess youíre right, I definitely should be putting most of my energy into focusing on my effort not to drink.
Im worried about the 2 week mark if the depression starts up like last time i quit for 2 weeks and gave in to the sadness and loneliness.
I do feel different this time and a lot more self supported and supported through this wonderful forum that I didnít have last time.
I donít really want to delve into the dark to think about why 😜🙈
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Old 02-27-2019, 06:42 PM
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My plan is not to drink again. Iím not bargaining that if I feel I have recovered that I can then drink. I know, as with cigarettes, if I smoke, I will be right back in hell where I started.
I am disappointed that I had been saving (from myself!!!) 2 special bottles of champagne all year!! from our wedding for our anniversary which is next week. Theyíll make special gifts for someone else. I hope someone gets married soon so I stop thinking about them.
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